wilkc32 Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 My boyfriend and I just celebrated our 11th year together. For the last 6 years we sail our boat north for 6 month and then go back to work for 6 month in the winter. It's been a great live..a live that I loved. We stayed in this town for 1 year longer than we usually do and it was time for us to go cruising again. We quit our jobs and were getting everything ready to go. It was my last day at work..we had a nice dinner party with friends the night before, in the morning we kissed and I went to work. About noon I went to go home for lunch. He saw me and came towards me looking stone cold and said we weren't going anywhere, that he has feeling for his co worker of a year and that he doesn't love me anymore. He said that he never felt this way about any woman and that he is thinking of marrying her and even want children. I was so shocked, I cryed and I begged him not to do this. He said that he is doing a very selfish thing, but that he needs to do this as he can't see himself being with me for another 11 years. He had talked to her that morning and she has feeling for him as well. So, he called up his family and told them. They are in shock as well as I am and our friends. How can he pretend to love me and act the way he did around me and then the next moment come to this conclusion. I feel absolutley heart broken, I don't eat, sleep and I cry all the time. I was 21 when we got together and now I am 32. He is all I know. He is 41 now. We bought the boat together, it was something so incredible that we shared. Its in both of our names and I have the title with me. Two days after the news I took what I could and flew to see my mom. He got a new job for the summer and they are both living there and probably on the boat. How can he just have her in our bed in our boat that we have so many memories on. I have nothing. I feel so lost. I love him so much. We had our arguments, etc..but that comes with all relationships. We never had a day off together, which was bad and affected me in the way I acted. But can I blame my self for loving him so much? Maybe he found her to be more fun, she is 29. He saw her daily more than me. How can he do this, why didn't he want to work on things with us. Can I save this relationship. Is he just going through some midlife crisis? I miss him so much. It's been 2 weeks and 4 days. I have no friends here and I can't go back to where he is, I can't see them together. It all hurts so much. HELP ME!!
Livelovelearn Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 sorry to hear that, i know the pain you feel but i know you feel it more than i do. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and i thought we had so many good times, and of course the good comes with the bad but thats all relationships...atleast your partner told you about it and was mature about it, i think you can still continue to love him for being honest and appreciate the time with him but move on and dont beg for him back, try to do something new and exciting or maybe take a vacation with some girl friends and embrace being single. my ex was seeing agirl for four months behind my back and he never told me, i had to find outand when i asked him about it, he hung up on me and never spoke with me agian, it has been a month and i havent heard anything from him. I am talking about a man i did so much for, who i loved and tried to make things work, accepted his flaws hoping he accepted mine. I do believe that maybe there are things in his life that occured and created a change in him and he didnt know how to deal with so maybe he is trying something new (king of like an escape) but who knows. dont waste to much time thinking about it it will stop you from healing and moving on...i really do feel for you 11 years is a long time, but sometimes that doesnt mean anything to other people but i am sure he will remember the good times and he does care about you, just not enough to be in a relationship
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