Livelovelearn Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 hello LS, im going through a situation and i would like to hear peoples opinion, experience or advice, everything is welcomed. Basically my ex boyfriend of 3 years had been cheating on me for about couple months and he did end things with me in march saying he needed space to figure his life out and a relationship was something he couldnt handle right now. So i found out that he was actually seeing another girl, When i asked him about it on the phone he got mad and said he would no longer be contacting me and hung up. This happened exactly last month, ever since then i never heard from him. This man had changed he was my first love and for the most of the relationship we were deeply in love. I do admit we were having trouble recently but i was always willing to work things out the best i could. Anyway i feel like i need to hear from him, i need answers, i just want to talk, i miss him alot but i know that i cannot go back, but i feel like atleast he should talk to me about it all, all these questions i have i feel like i wasnt good enough....but i did alot for him, why hasnt he contacted me? i messaged him here and there and still nothing..so sad...
Fouts Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 It is sad, but normal. He doesn't have any questions to ask you and isn't interested in hearing yours, he moved on. If it makes you feel any better, there's always one half who wants to talk, to know why, to make it work again. Unfortunately in this failed relationship, it's you. Try to think of the future and better things that lay ahead
Author Livelovelearn Posted May 10, 2010 Author Posted May 10, 2010 thanks for the replay Fouts, wow that actually really hit me hard lol but in a good way....to hear an outside say its over and to know that its true...i loved him a lot and i dont want to be with him but i guess my hurt ego wants to know why he hates me so much, did he just forget about everything i did or the good times we had. i never understood how people could be so forgetful and cold, i guess i should delete every contact of his?
Snugglepuss Posted May 14, 2010 Posted May 14, 2010 I know exactly how you feel but I do not need answers. I have a sense of liberation and peace of mind but he doesn't because I disappeared on him after peeping through his window on Saturday night and seeing his bed rocking and hearing a girl moaning. My ex did the same thing as yours. We were off and on for 5 years and in this last year, we were off but I would still spend every weekend with him as if I lived with him pretty much. Then this past week, he said we were spending too much time together and he needed a break to get his life together and blah blah BS. So of course I started getting suspicious. A person does not just say that one day out of the blue. He started to not be able to even stay rigid during sex too. These were all signs of someone disinterested. He has texted and called me everyday since I disappeared but I will hold my ground and will never see or talk to him again. I will not even confront him or let him know what I saw and what I know. I have the upperhand now and the confidence to move forward knowing that I now know his true colors. He is a sleazy slimy scumbag. Be strong and go no contact. Consider it a blessing that he is not contacting you and now you can move forward.
Author Livelovelearn Posted May 16, 2010 Author Posted May 16, 2010 I know exactly how you feel but I do not need answers. I have a sense of liberation and peace of mind but he doesn't because I disappeared on him after peeping through his window on Saturday night and seeing his bed rocking and hearing a girl moaning. My ex did the same thing as yours. We were off and on for 5 years and in this last year, we were off but I would still spend every weekend with him as if I lived with him pretty much. Then this past week, he said we were spending too much time together and he needed a break to get his life together and blah blah BS. So of course I started getting suspicious. A person does not just say that one day out of the blue. He started to not be able to even stay rigid during sex too. These were all signs of someone disinterested. He has texted and called me everyday since I disappeared but I will hold my ground and will never see or talk to him again. I will not even confront him or let him know what I saw and what I know. I have the upperhand now and the confidence to move forward knowing that I now know his true colors. He is a sleazy slimy scumbag. Be strong and go no contact. Consider it a blessing that he is not contacting you and now you can move forward. Hello snugglepuss thanks for sharing your experience, 5 years huh? thats a lot of time, i certainly feel for you, and i am so amazed by your reaction it takes a strong person to just go as you did, to be perfectly honest i wish i never confronted my ex on the phone because i gave him the power to hang up on me and tell me he wasnt going to talk to me again, yet it should have been me to say that, it was just disgusting how he lied to me, but yet still asked me to come see him and we had sex, saying that maybe we needed to do it since i havent seen him in a bit, i thought it would be good, then to find out a week before he was with his new girl....people with no morals or values sicken me...specially when you love them with all your heart, i am going no contact and i do have my days where a tear here and there come out, but other than that i am fine and will continue to be, best wishes to all who are going through the same thing
Ruby Slippers Posted May 16, 2010 Posted May 16, 2010 He knows what he did is wrong, and he is too much of a coward to talk to you and answer your questions. No surprise, given the lying and cheating.
Snugglepuss Posted May 16, 2010 Posted May 16, 2010 (edited) So I took some of my friends' advices about just letting him know that I know so that he can stop calling and texting me since he does not know what's going on with me. I emailed him and he responded by pretty much insinuating that it was my fault and I'm to blame because I always had a "safety net" of guys lined up and all this other BS and even saying he always wanted to marry me but felt I was never completely his. I refuse to respond back. He is manipulative, vindictive and petty, and always tries to turn the tables on me. He never called or texted since. He never apologized or even mentioned the whole sleeping-with-someone-else bit. He is a coward and a piece of crap. I did feel worst today but now I know that he knows and can now leave me alone for good, hopefully. I will continue to hold my ground and never respond from this point on. If he should call or text or continue to pester me, I will never cave. I will get through this and be OK again. I do not deserve this and neither do you. I know my worth. Edited May 16, 2010 by Snugglepuss
norajane Posted May 16, 2010 Posted May 16, 2010 He knows what he did is wrong, and he is too much of a coward to talk to you and answer your questions. No surprise, given the lying and cheating. Yes, this is it exactly. He doesn't want to take responsibility and face up to his actions. That makes him a loser, and until he fixes that character flaw, he'll never, ever have a good relationship with anyone.
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