AChick Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 But things are weird and I need to take back my home! Recently I moved in with my boyfriend. It's kind of a complicated situation so I hope it's not too confusing. My boyfriend is divorced and has two awesome kids. When his wife left him he got her and the kids a house to stay in and he got himself an apartment. Eventually his ex-wife met someone else and plans were made for her and the kids to move in with her new beau. My boyfriend decided to move into her old house to make the whole transition easier on the kids. Once my boyfriend and I started talking about making the big move ourselves I was very wary of moving into that old house. He is not much of a decorator and the house is pretty much the way his ex-wife left it. So here is where we get to my problem. Ive been there about a month now...and as I am cleaning things up and getting everything organized I keep running into personal items of his ex's and its just really uncomfortable. I have asked him many times to please just go through the house; clean out all of her stuff and he hasn't really done it so I have put on my big girl boots and started on this uneasy task myself. I have now come to a screeching halt after finding their wedding goblets in our kitchen cupboards. I need to know how I can approach my boyfriend with asking him to please help me in clearing her out of our house. It is beginning to make me feel like he doesn't want those things to go away...I mean her name is still on half the bills for God's sake. I know he loves me and I know he does NOT want to be back with his ex-wife. I am perfectly fine with the fact that they will always have a special bond because of their children. I guess I just need to know that even though she is the mother of his children that I still come first. Is that too much to ask or will me bringing all this up just cause a huge mess. thanks!
jackson30 Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 I think you're being unreasonable, just because they are divorced doesn't mean she was never part of his life and he has to completely erase her. She was part of his past and always will be. I don't see the problem with still having some stuff around, it's not like he's keeping naked pictures of her.
sally4sara Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 Is there a basement or shed? Just box them up and stow them away. It might not be that he wants to hold on to them. It might just be: He doesn't know what to do with them. Getting rid of them could require some stupid interaction with the ex "do you want them? I don't want them? Should I just toss them out?" -fight ensues about how little or more the both of them give a damn for the ashes of their fail marriage. Plus, it lends her the ability to think you're bothered by her; threatened by reminders of her. Box them up and stuff in a dark corner. The kids might want them later. And he might not even notice they're gone.
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