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A girl my friend is into wants me to spend the night

Engadget

By Engadget
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Engadget Established Member

Engadget

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A little backstory:

 

My friend Jack's girlfriend invited her friend and another girl out with us one night and we had fun. We all went out on St. Patrick's day and had fun, and my other friend Larry and her danced and hit it off although no one really knew at the time.

 

We all went to a concert a week or so later and this girl Amanda was ALL OVER Larry. When I say all over, I mean all over. She had actually come to the concert with me and stayed at my house since she lived far away, but I didn't really care.

 

It seemed like they were really into each other, and then one day she shut him down (they had had sex once apparently) and called him "psycho".

 

Since then I talked to her on and off, and recently she's been asking me to come to her place more than a few times. She's good looking, if a little...unstable, but I put it off because my friend Larry said he actually had feelings for her. Bros before Ho's and all.

 

Recently she started posting all these things on her profile about "I want to see you, please come back!" and all this stuff. Larry asked me if he thought it was about him, but when I spoke to her she laughed and still said he was a nutjob.

 

Well yesterday I talked to her and she wants me to come over Wednesday, so I agreed. There was a mutual attraction there when we danced at the concert and talked, but because of the whole thing with Larry nothing happened.

 

So basically while I want to have sex with her (and nothing anymore serious than that) I still feel like I'd be betraying my friend since he says he likes her.

 

Should I do it? She already asked me to stay the night, and I will because she lives almost 2 hours away and if we're drinking, I'm not driving. It's been weeks since I've had sex so I'm not sure if I could hold back if something happens, and I have decent willpower for a horny guy.

 

As an addendum here's what she's said online recently, right after we've talked. She could be talking about me, or someone else entirely:

 

we keep sending eachother signs....... but who will make the first move????? hope to see you VERY soon! EEEEEEEEEE :)

 

"What we anticipate seldom occurs, what we least expected generally happens." you are really what i least expected to happen i hope you really do happen :) any day now

 

The first was around the same time she kept asking me to come to her place soon. Seems too close to be a coincidence.

Edited by Engadget
LittleMissWonder Member

LittleMissWonder

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She sounds like she likes the chase and is too easy.

 

Tell her to get lost. Don't be blinded by pu$$y! You said yourself that she is kind of unstable.

quankanne Established Member

quankanne

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is this girl really worth ruining your relationship with Larry?

 

and can you detect the red flag in you post? Larry and her danced and hit it off although no one really knew at the time … a week or so later this girl was ALL OVER Larry. When I say all over, I mean all over.

 

it sounds like she likes getting between friends because why else would she be hot and heavy with your friend, then blow him off to chase you? I'm sure you're chase-worthy, but do you really want to get involved with a serious head case? :sick::sick:

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Engadget Established Member

Engadget

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is this girl really worth ruining your relationship with Larry?

 

and can you detect the red flag in you post? Larry and her danced and hit it off although no one really knew at the time … a week or so later this girl was ALL OVER Larry. When I say all over, I mean all over.

 

it sounds like she likes getting between friends because why else would she be hot and heavy with your friend, then blow him off to chase you? I'm sure you're chase-worthy, but do you really want to get involved with a serious head case? :sick::sick:

 

Yeah that's the problem, but it wouldn't be any more than just sex if it did happen.

 

I think if we could keep it silent it might be okay. She supposedly walked away from him because he was psycho, which is her saying he got too attached. However based on how she acted towards him, that's exactly what he should have thought.

 

I wouldn't get involved with her beyond sex, and even had reservations about that the night she came over. I guess we'll see, I need to get laid and that desire may trump any issues that arise from it.

quankanne Established Member

quankanne

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let me rephrase: Do you want to be stalked by a psycho chick from hell who thinks that because you've slept with her, y'all "have something" together?

 

trust me, you're much better off alone than inviting that kind of trouble into your life. Surely there are other gals you can date?

Green Established Member

Green

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Haha I had a girl who slept with a best friend of mine come onto me. She even said when she slept with my friend it was me she really wanted. I seriously was amused and had my ego boosted by this but not in a MILLION years would i want to sleep with some girl who had previously slept with my friend. Seriously its a gross idea. You don't even really like this girl, you say it would just be a sex thing... So why would you do it. If you don't care about your friend and want drama in your life and to be treated the same way he was go ahead.

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Engadget Established Member

Engadget

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let me rephrase: Do you want to be stalked by a psycho chick from hell who thinks that because you've slept with her, y'all "have something" together?

 

trust me, you're much better off alone than inviting that kind of trouble into your life. Surely there are other gals you can date?

 

*Other girls I can have sex with

 

Sure, but they require effort. Something I'm not willing to put forth at this time.

 

Green yeah the "gross" thing came to mind. Eh, who knows. We might get other people to go over too, maybe they'll be other girls.

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Engadget Established Member

Engadget

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Everytime I put something on my profile now, she instantly responds and is online in chat. Seemingly waiting for me to message her. I wont this time, make her wonder.

ADF Established Member

ADF

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So want to have sex--nothing more--with a woman who is clearly emotionally unstable? Forget about it. It will bring lots of drama into your life, none of it good.

SilentVoice Established Member

SilentVoice

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Everytime I put something on my profile now, she instantly responds and is online in chat. Seemingly waiting for me to message her. I wont this time, make her wonder.

Wait till you have sex with her .. HA

or she will try to talk to your next friend lets call him Bob and claim that you got too attached

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Engadget Established Member

Engadget

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Wait till you have sex with her .. HA

or she will try to talk to your next friend lets call him Bob and claim that you got too attached

 

Yeah, but I'm aware this could happen since I already saw it happen. I'm not going to get attached at all. She lives too far away for anything to even be regular. Too far is about an hour, hour and a half to me.

 

Ended up chatting with her bit and probed her (hehe sounds dirty) by telling her I'm taking her bed the night that I crash. She said she has couches, she ended up sleeping on mine the night she stayed. Maybe she didn't get the implication, or did and was saying no.

 

Hell I might go over and nothing might happen. Depends on my mood, I managed to keep from anything happening that night she stayed.

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Engadget Established Member

Engadget

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Update time:

 

I spent the night at her place with her female roommate (who actually hated me, but I'll explain later) and it was fun.

 

I learned a little bit more about her that night, that the outgoing crazy girl I thought she was is only part of the story. She talked about some guy that came into her work that she was too shy to ask out, and how she's still being dragged on a string by her ex.

 

I told her when we had talked earlier about my situation and how I'm looking to get to know any girls I meet before anything happens, and she seemed to understand. She was flirting with me for sure, but with the above stuff you'd think there's no chance.

 

She was adorable when I left actually. I was in my car and she did the bouncy, nervous thing when saying goodbye to me and invited me over Saturday night.

 

So, I guess it's a wait and see thing. I'll go for sure this weekend, and there's an attraction there which wasn't hard to notice. In fact I thought I heard her talking to her roommate as I left asking if "anything happened". It must seem odd that me, the guy is the one not jumping all over her.

O'Malley Established Member

O'Malley

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She seems way too focused on getting attention. That's besides the fact that she's still attached to her ex, called your good friend a 'psycho' and your initial impression of her was that she was unstable.

 

You may not become attached, but you might get a bunny boiler of your own making.

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Engadget Established Member

Engadget

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She seems way too focused on getting attention. That's besides the fact that she's still attached to her ex, called your good friend a 'psycho' and your initial impression of her was that she was unstable.

 

You may not become attached, but you might get a bunny boiler of your own making.

 

That's a risk we all take isn't it? I think she's looking for some great fantasy love that doesn't actually exist. She claims she told my friend she wasn't looking for anything serious, and when he wouldn't get the hint she called him psycho.

 

Her roommate on the other hand, is a definite fatal attractions girl. I spoke to this girl off and on after we all met and she flipped, calling me a "player" and all this stuff. We talked about it yesterday and I explained I wasn't actually trying to get in her pants and she apologized.

 

Well this girl...is weird. She has some weird, super-goth dude come over at midnight when I'm lying on the couch near her friend watching a movie. I'm guessing they have sex, although it can't be THAT good because I couldn't hear a thing through the wall and I was on the couch next to it.

 

He walked past me in the morning, wouldn't say a thing and left. Her friend hates him, called him a douchebag and all that. I don't know it was just an odd situation to be honest.

O'Malley Established Member

O'Malley

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That's a risk we all take isn't it?

 

No -- emotionally unstable usually tends to scare off people who have habits of self preservation.

 

She claims she told my friend she wasn't looking for anything serious, and when he wouldn't get the hint she called him psycho.

 

But her admittance that she's still being strung along by her ex isn't off? Buyer beware...

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Engadget Established Member

Engadget

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No -- emotionally unstable usually tends to scare off people who have habits of self preservation.

 

 

 

But her admittance that she's still being strung along by her ex isn't off? Buyer beware...

 

Oh of course I realize that. Nothing may even happen, but I'm not going to worry about it just yet.

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Engadget Established Member

Engadget

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Going to see her again, just such a pain to go out there. I have to drive for almost an hour and a half :(

carhill Established Member

carhill

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Why not wet your noodle in a more satisfying enchilada?

 

Do you know what an emotional vampire is? Hope the wet noodle is worth it. And yes, I'd prioritize my male friend over a woman any day. The woman did nothing to *earn* any priority, care or love. Pretty simple.

Yamaha Established Member

Yamaha

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It's obvious ur desire for poon will override any thoughts of friend, Larry.

 

 

 

 

I need to get laid and that desire may trump any issues that arise from it

 

 

Why post about something you've already decided?

rewe4reel Established Member

rewe4reel

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She sounds pretty gross and in fact the entire group of people you socialize with sounds pretty gross.

 

You have a desire to stick your penis is that mess?

 

 

Ugh.

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Engadget Established Member

Engadget

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It's obvious ur desire for poon will override any thoughts of friend, Larry.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why post about something you've already decided?

 

Wrong, because nothing happened and it easily could have. I was the one to make sure it actually didn't happen.

 

It's nice to be in control of the situation, instead of the usual guy talk of basically waiting on the woman to do something, or give them a sign. She was all over me and I did nothing, and had opportunities.

 

If anything did happen with her I'd want it to be more than one time sex, so I've deliberately taken it slow, glacial even. We'll see if she has the patience for that or moves on, either way I don't mind.

 

Part of me doesn't want anything to ever happen because she's fun to be friends with, and entangling feelings and sex could make that go south quickly. I thought my comments to her about being friends only worked, but she was into me last night, so I don't know.

Edited by Engadget
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