SuperMatt Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 Back story: broke up after a 4 year relationship that ended a little abruptly by me, because I could tell she didn't seem to care anymore and she did not want to work things out. So I moved on and so did she. I got a new girlfriend about 5 months later and I really enjoy her and shes awesome. She dated some guy for about 6 months and now she is single again. (its roughly been about 10 months now since the break up) So I just need to vent a little bit because I am just kinda having weird stupid feelings and thinking about the past with my ex. I have a new girlfriend and everything is going great and for some reason I still think about her and I try my best to get it out of my head. but some nights when I am alone I think about how great things were. Of course when I am with the new girlfriend I completely forget about her. I have not been in contact with her since about 4 weeks after the break up, where I just told her i wanted closer and we talked things over and we just talked about how things were and what happened. Basically saying yeah it was a great relationship but it didn't work out in the long run. Anyways it it weird for me to still think about her and wonder how she is doing? Will this pass in time?
dianna Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 same thing happens to me..i can't believe he is happy and even though I am with my new bf, it's not the same..
GrayClouds Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 same thing happens to me..i can't believe he is happy and even though I am with my new bf, it's not the same.. Wow, does the new boyfriend know you think of him as second best?
dianna Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 yes and he is very supportive ..because he wants me to move on with my life ..im stuck with my ex ( sort of ) because we work at the same place and i have to see him everyday ..with his new girlfriend ..
sean1970 Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 yes :)yes and he is very supportive . Hate to put it like this but, he should not be...
GrayClouds Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 true...i feel guilty. Feeling guilty is usually easier then doing the right thing, specially if then means being alone until you have gotten over your ex.
Author SuperMatt Posted May 11, 2010 Author Posted May 11, 2010 Luckily I don't have to see my ex anymore so that helps with the coping. But sometimes I have the urge to see how she is doing or what she is up to... But I hold off and keep it to myself. I think its best to do it this way. I just hope it doesn't hurt what I have going right now with my new girlfriend... I don't know if 5 months was long enough but I am willing to find out.
USMCHokie Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 I'm almost right where you're at, Matt...around 9 months for me...but I don't have anyone new to keep my mind from wandering to the ex...but sometimes I think that's for the better... Four years is a long time...even 10 months later, you'll still have memories in your head...but as with everything else, it will eventually pass...it's just a matter of time...
jlr Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 I have a new girlfriend and everything is going great Yeah, you mentioned that a couple times. Are you trying to convince us, or you? I'm guessing things aren't going so great if you're still stuck on the ex. And this is exactly why you didn't NEED a new girlfriend. I was in a 5 year relationship that ended over a year ago (6 months NC now), and I wouldn't want to jump into a relationship STILL. People don't realize, you need to be with YOU for a while. Work things out in your mind. Jumping to another girl, well, this is what happens. Unresolved issues are now picking at the surface. Sorry, but that's the truth.
GrayClouds Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 I have a new girlfriend and everything is going great Yeah, you mentioned that a couple times. Are you trying to convince us, or you? I'm guessing things aren't going so great if you're still stuck on the ex. And this is exactly why you didn't NEED a new girlfriend. I was in a 5 year relationship that ended over a year ago (6 months NC now), and I wouldn't want to jump into a relationship STILL. People don't realize, you need to be with YOU for a while. Work things out in your mind. Jumping to another girl, well, this is what happens. Unresolved issues are now picking at the surface. Sorry, but that's the truth. Amen brother, using someone to make yourself feel better and distract you from your pain, is just that using someone. It keeps you from doing the hard work that keeps you from repeating past mistakes, healing completely and, most sadly, is unfair to the other person.
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