gorgeousboy Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 So I saw in another thread about someone asking what it means when a guy insisting on splitting the bill and saying that the girl can pay the next time. Someone replied to say that that means it's not a date. But I sometimes tell girls that when they insist on splitting the bill because I want to suggest that I want a second date. Is that not clear to say that I can take the bill this time and the girl the next time? That is read to mean that I see them as friends?
fishtaco Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 No, a date is a date. As for who pays, that doesn't matter. Traditionally the guy pays, but I've been with women that want to split or insists they pay the 2nd date. Those women earn extra points with me. In fact if I'm with a "traditional woman", I'm cool with playing my role, but I better see progress. If I don't I'll assume she's just using me. But a guy asking to split the bill or ask the girl to pay is kind of tacky.
Kaplan Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 If you say "let's go out on a date," and that's how you end up with a bill to begin with, then obviously that's a date regardless of whether you split the bill or whatever. It's just that, if it's two friends who have stated they're just friends, and the guy says, "I'll get the bill this time; you get it next time," that indicates that it's just a friendly thing. I mean guys often pay for each other the same way (expecting reciprocation.)
LucreziaBorgia Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 (edited) If you ask someone out on a date, you pay their way IMO until you are established. If you start off 'dutch' to me it implies or suggests a slightly lower level of romantic interest, or worse: a 'friend' interest. I would hope after that when you become friends as well as lovers in an established relationship that the person would offer to pay or help pay out of fairness. Some women don't though. I guess it depends on how entitled they feel to have someone pay 100% of the time even after they are 'together' officially. Once you are in an established relationship you can split the costs of stuff. That is what I do and it works pretty well. Sometimes he lets me pay, but most of the time he insists. Edited May 10, 2010 by LucreziaBorgia
sally4sara Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 I DO have a lower level of romantic interest on a first date. Because it is only a first date. I cannot tell you how many times a person has seemed normal and enjoyable for the first couple of dates only to let the crazy out of the bag on date 3.
Green Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 For the first few dates I believe in paying for the date especialy if I'm the one picking the places. After a month or so, once things devolop into a gf/bf type relationship I believe in splitting the bills
Author gorgeousboy Posted May 10, 2010 Author Posted May 10, 2010 There have been occasions when I go out with a female friend that I like but not established that it's a date or not. When I reach for the bill, she says she would split. Even though I genuinely want to pay, I don't want to fight tooth and nail for it, so I say I'll take this one and you the next, hoping that she would accept that. So does that come across as just a friendly thing?
Green Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 There have been occasions when I go out with a female friend that I like but not established that it's a date or not. When I reach for the bill, she says she would split. Even though I genuinely want to pay, I don't want to fight tooth and nail for it, so I say I'll take this one and you the next, hoping that she would accept that. So does that come across as just a friendly thing? Kissing her on the lips at some point before you say goodbye wouldn't come off as just friendly... Did you do that? Because in the end unless you are doing romantic things like flirting, touching, and kissing ... then yes it is just friendly. It is your job to take the risk and kiss the girl. If you are so afraid of rejection you don't even try then in essence you reject yourself. And you really don't have to fight tooth and nail, just be like "I'd really like it if you let me get this" once a few dates have happened and the relationship is established then go ahead and take turns paying or split the bill.
bac Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 On a date, a man does what a woman wants. Normally, a girl wants a guy to pay unless there are any special curcumstances such as a guy is very poor and a girl feels sorry for him, so she wants to help him, or a girl wants to demonstrate her dignity by offering to pay and she hopes a man will reject the offer. A rare girl has true belief that she should pay on the first dates, in this case you are a lucky man who should let her do what she really wants.
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