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Girl I haven't seen in years said she used to have a crush on me- is this a sign?

buddah

By buddah
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buddah New Member

buddah

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Ok guys so the title pretty much explains it. I went to high school with a girl, but didn't really think too much about her because she was younger. I knew her because I was pretty good friends with her sister, but the only contact I had with her was when when her sis would drive us home from school.

 

Anyway, I hadn't seen her in like 4 years or whatever, but I was at a bar on ST. Patty's day and she approached me and we talked for 30 minutes about random things-her sister, high school etc. She mentioned that she had the biggest crush on me back at high school, which I thought was nice, but didn't really think much of it at the time.

 

Fast forward to last weekend. I was invited to a party by a couple buddies who I went to high school with and found that out that she was going to be there also. Obviously this was pretty exciting for me to hear, so I tried do look my best for the party. Anyway, I got there around 9, which was when the party started, but she didn't show up till around 1 or 1:30 in the morning. By this time I definitely wasn't sober anymore. After midnight I pretty much thought she wasn't going to be there, and decided I probably didn't need to hold off on the shots that my friends kept asking me to take.

 

So after she got there things started to get a bit hazy. What I definitely remember though was that she told me she used to have a crush on me again, and at least 3 other times during the night. She was starting to get a bit tipsy herself. Apparently she was pretty much talking to me the entire time she was there. Problem is, after about 2:30-3:00 in the morning, I just don't remember what the hell we were talking about. I mean I remember us being together, but none of the specifics (i.e. if I could tell for myself if she was actually flirting or not) My friend told me she was flirting with me, but I know that he also wants to just boost my confidence too.

 

Sorry for the long post, but the question still stands. If she told me that she used to have a crush on me a few months ago, and then reiterated it again at that party, could it be a sign for something right now? I'm usually not this clueless with women, but I think it's just because she's absolutely gorgeous- and even though I don't think I'm a bad looking guy, I feel like I might not be in her league. I also totally over think things like this. I've been out of the dating scene for a few years after a bad breakup with my last ex, so I'm fairly new to all of this again. Thanks guys

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buddah New Member

buddah

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Any advice on this guys? Anything?

Ihavenoidea Established Member

Ihavenoidea

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first of all, I personally dont believe in "leagues." Any guy can get any girl imho. I dont think I am that great but have snagged some ridiculously beautiful women, but I find dating has changed from what I was used to.

 

If it was me I would just ask her out to a date. It may be a sign it may not be. She might be usuing it as an abstract way of telling you she still does without directly telling you.

 

Like I said it may or may not be but unless you take a chance you'll never know.

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buddah New Member

buddah

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Well I suppose you're right about the league thing. My ex was pretty attractive, and she dated me when I was 35 lbs overweight, so I know that looks aren't extremely important.

 

I think the biggest thing is that I'm fairly intimidated by her. Not when we were talking or whatever, but she's one of those girls that has a million friends on facebook, a million pictures, people are constantly posting stuff on her wall, so there's absolutely no way to get a read on her ya know?

 

There's a concert thing that I overheard she was going to, and a few of my friends have thought about going, so maybe i'll try to see if I can meet up with her this weekend or something, see if things go well with that, and try to ask her out. Problem is, she's a bartender who constantly gets hit on by guys ALL the time. I don't want to come across as boring or lame if I decide to ask her ya know?

Frontliner Member

Frontliner

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You should take your chances. You have nothing to lose. Good luck.

Green Established Member

Green

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My advice is you screwed up BIG TIMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Have you no confidence man? You don't get better opportunities then this.

 

Seriously, you should ask her out today....... AND KISS HER> You might have already lost your chance as there are windows of oportunity that CLOSE.

 

LOOK just facebook msg her or call her or whatever and see if she wants to get some dinner or something tonigh. Then just make sure you KISS her on the lips before the end of the date.

 

What you should have done was kissed her at the bar where you first saw her and at the party....

 

SHE WOULDN"T BE TELLING YOU SHE USED TO HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU UNLESS SHE STILL DID AT THAT EXACT MOMENT.

 

In the future don't expect this big of a hint, if a girl walks up to you in a bar or party and just says "Hi" assume she likes you if you think she is hot and make a move. Not making a move is the best way to screw things up

Ihavenoidea Established Member

Ihavenoidea

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Well I suppose you're right about the league thing. My ex was pretty attractive, and she dated me when I was 35 lbs overweight, so I know that looks aren't extremely important.

 

I think the biggest thing is that I'm fairly intimidated by her. Not when we were talking or whatever, but she's one of those girls that has a million friends on facebook, a million pictures, people are constantly posting stuff on her wall, so there's absolutely no way to get a read on her ya know?

 

There's a concert thing that I overheard she was going to, and a few of my friends have thought about going, so maybe i'll try to see if I can meet up with her this weekend or something, see if things go well with that, and try to ask her out. Problem is, she's a bartender who constantly gets hit on by guys ALL the time. I don't want to come across as boring or lame if I decide to ask her ya know?

 

All I can say is dont be THAT guy who posts or her facebook photos and comments all the time. Be independent, she clearly likes you so let her chase a little but make a move.

 

Bartenders do get hit on all the time but you weren't hitting on her at a bar you were just talking and she approached you first.

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buddah New Member

buddah

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My advice is you screwed up BIG TIMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Have you no confidence man? You don't get better opportunities then this.

 

Seriously, you should ask her out today....... AND KISS HER> You might have already lost your chance as there are windows of oportunity that CLOSE.

 

LOOK just facebook msg her or call her or whatever and see if she wants to get some dinner or something tonigh. Then just make sure you KISS her on the lips before the end of the date.

 

What you should have done was kissed her at the bar where you first saw her and at the party....

 

SHE WOULDN"T BE TELLING YOU SHE USED TO HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU UNLESS SHE STILL DID AT THAT EXACT MOMENT.

 

In the future don't expect this big of a hint, if a girl walks up to you in a bar or party and just says "Hi" assume she likes you if you think she is hot and make a move. Not making a move is the best way to screw things up

 

 

I'm sorry but I guess I find it hard to believe that a girl I hadn't seen in like over 4 years is expecting me to kiss her after telling me that she used to have a crush on me. I mean it's not like it was 5-6 months ago, or even a year. 4 years! I hadn't even spoke with her. To think that somehow she would just magically feel the same way after all of that time is pretty hard for me to believe. Like I said though, I'm going to try to go that concert this weekend and meet up with her. If she says agrees to meet up then I'll see how that goes, and if not I suppose I screwed it up, but at least I'll have a better gauge next time.

Green Established Member

Green

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I'm sorry but I guess I find it hard to believe that a girl I hadn't seen in like over 4 years is expecting me to kiss her after telling me that she used to have a crush on me. I mean it's not like it was 5-6 months ago, or even a year. 4 years! I hadn't even spoke with her. To think that somehow she would just magically feel the same way after all of that time is pretty hard for me to believe. Like I said though, I'm going to try to go that concert this weekend and meet up with her. If she says agrees to meet up then I'll see how that goes, and if not I suppose I screwed it up, but at least I'll have a better gauge next time.

 

You're telling me you never kissed a pretty girl at a party or bar the first time you met her? I guess it makes sense, but surely you've heard of the concept of being bold and confident and how women find that kind of thing romantic.

 

If she agrees to meet up you have to do something romantic like kiss her. Don't you want to kiss her? If your plan is to befriend her in hopes something will happen she will most likely lose interest in you. If you want to have the greatest chance you will try to kiss her. Don't just go in for the kiss, flirt, touch... then kiss.

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buddah New Member

buddah

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You're telling me you never kissed a pretty girl at a party or bar the first time you met her? I guess it makes sense, but surely you've heard of the concept of being bold and confident and how women find that kind of thing romantic.

 

If she agrees to meet up you have to do something romantic like kiss her. Don't you want to kiss her? If your plan is to befriend her in hopes something will happen she will most likely lose interest in you. If you want to have the greatest chance you will try to kiss her. Don't just go in for the kiss, flirt, touch... then kiss.

 

Well of course I want to kiss her. I guess if/when the next time we hang out, I'll gauge that level of attraction she has for me, and make my move. I'm not scared to kiss her or anything, but yeah, I've never just randomly kissed a girl within moments of seeing her. Looks like I should start though! Lol

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buddah New Member

buddah

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It sure would be nice to get a woman's perspective on all of this. Any women willing to weigh in?

Engadget Established Member

Engadget

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Yes it's a sign. I told this girl I had a crush on her from when we were in high school, and she got upset. "Why didn't you tell me?!" because of the missed opportunity.

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buddah New Member

buddah

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Yes it's a sign. I told this girl I had a crush on her from when we were in high school, and she got upset. "Why didn't you tell me?!" because of the missed opportunity.

 

 

Yeah, but did you still like her after you saw her though? Or did it bring back old memories, or what?

Ann_Igma Established Member

Ann_Igma

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It sure would be nice to get a woman's perspective on all of this. Any women willing to weigh in?

 

It sounds to me as if she does still have a bit of a thing for you and is too afraid to say it more directly.

 

If she'd only told you once that she used to have a crush on you, I could see that as being ambiguous. However since she told you three more times at that party, my guess is that she does want you to act on that information.

 

When I was younger and more shy, I'm sure I used that same line as an icebreaker once or twice myself.. :o

Engadget Established Member

Engadget

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Yeah, but did you still like her after you saw her though? Or did it bring back old memories, or what?

 

I was still attracted to her then, not the same crush though.

 

However my belief is if anyone says that to you, they're interested at least in some way. Otherwise what would be the point of saying it you know?

Green Established Member

Green

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Well of course I want to kiss her. I guess if/when the next time we hang out, I'll gauge that level of attraction she has for me, and make my move. I'm not scared to kiss her or anything, but yeah, I've never just randomly kissed a girl within moments of seeing her. Looks like I should start though! Lol

 

Dude just assume the attraction is there and proceed acordingly. Are you this afraid of rejection that you can't just be romantic with the girl?

 

It sure would be nice to get a woman's perspective on all of this. Any women willing to weigh in?

 

A womans prospective is irelevant unless she puts herself in the position of the man. Every woman is different so unless the womans prospective is from the women you like or some one who knows her it is useless unless that women is looking at it from the mans prospective.

 

You need to focus on your prospective as a man. Here are your mistakes <A> You fear rejection <B> You underestimate potential attraction <C> you need to overestimate attraction and be confident... Be yourself... the version of yourself who isn't afraid to act and doesn't make up excuses like "I don't know if she likes me" and "shes out of my league".. <D> You like her what else is there to think about?

 

It sounds to me as if she does still have a bit of a thing for you and is too afraid to say it more directly.

 

How much more direct would you expect it to go. Its almost unheard of for pretty girls to ask a guy out and set a time and place "I'll pick you up at 7" type of thing. She told the guy she always had a crush on him. Seriously if she had just walked up to him in a bar and said "Some weather we have been having?" or "Whate time is it" or just "Hi" and he was interested in her it is HIS JOB to make a move and take the RISK of getting REJECTED. He decided not to take the RISK of getting REJECTED and in essence it is the same result as if he had been REJECTED. only difference is he gets to come on here and wonder about what is obvious to the rest of us including him actualy. He knows she liked him he just talked himself out of it with fear.

 

However my belief is if anyone says that to you, they're interested at least in some way. Otherwise what would be the point of saying it you know?

 

There is zero point. If a pretty girl goes up up to a Famouse Rock Star and say "I always had a big crush on you growing up" that rock star can be pretty sure that means she still has a crush on him...

 

This guy took a sure thing with a girl he finds pretty and now who knows if it will happen. If he continues this way it won't. MAN UP, NO MORE EXCUSES, GO FOR IT. Don't go for it as some fake friend, be romantic and make bold moves. Talk is cheap, flirt, touch, then kiss her. Have fun.

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buddah New Member

buddah

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You're right. Guess I should have done something. Thing is, I wasn't scared, I was drunk. My mistake of course, but I'm not scared of rejection- I was just too stupid to notice whether or not she was interested in me at the party or not. Those other subtleties that women hint to you went way over my head as I wasn't in the right state of mind. Next time I see her though, I'll gauge and act accordingly.

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