Heather1 Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 I just told a co-worker yesterday in a moment of panic. I trust her, but I wish I hadn't said anything. I told my H at the very beginning, because I thought it was over at that time. Haven't told him anything since. Now I have someone who knows the whole thing for once & knows both of us. So what has been your experiences with telling someone else (a friend or co-worker). A friend would FREAK if I told them!!!
kis Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 I just told a co-worker yesterday in a moment of panic. I trust her, but I wish I hadn't said anything. I told my H at the very beginning, because I thought it was over at that time. Haven't told him anything since. Now I have someone who knows the whole thing for once & knows both of us. So what has been your experiences with telling someone else (a friend or co-worker). A friend would FREAK if I told them!!! I have wished i could tell a friend a million times but I just cant and he would freak out so bad. then again i would to if he told someone. Sorry cant remember if your relationship is over or still going?
Fallen Angel Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 My friends and family know about my relationship, and all of the important details (including the fact that he is married). My children, my grandmother, my sister and her family (brother in law, neices. nephew *the "kids" are all in late teens early 20's), my father, my friends *this does not include all of my "aquaintences" but neither would I feel it important to tell them if I was dating a single man. The point is, all of the people that are important in my life know the circumstances of my relationship with my sweetheart, and while they hope for me that someday my relationship moves forward into everything I want it to be, they all know that right now I am happy, and they are happy for me and accept and even love him for making me so happy. Most of my friends/family have also met him or have spoken with him on the phone several times. He has also introduced me to several of his friends.
Author Heather1 Posted May 10, 2010 Author Posted May 10, 2010 It's over. He emailed me last week after 2 months of NC to say he was coming to my work & I let him know I wouldn't be there. The next time I went to work I talked to a co-worker & broke down. I didn't think it would affect me, but I was. a wreck. I can't imagne if I would have been there!
Lost Wanderer Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 In my case most of the people around me know. My MM doesn't really hide me at all, except from his W. My H knows, as does our mutual friends, and MM's co-workers.
joey66 Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 Absolutely nobody, except you wonderful people here. There isn't anyone I trust enough to talk with freely about MW.
sarkandlauren Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 Absolutely no one. And I wish I could talk about it with someone.
Davnnic Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 My best friend (we work at the same place too), another co-worker (actually a few co-workers know-me and MM work in the same place, different deptartments), another friend, and now that I am separated, my adult children and mom. My friend knew all along, and I could NOT imagine going through this R without her support! I don[t know how people can go it alone without some support.
lilagirl Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 I haven`t told a soul. We have been questioned allot by close mutual friends... but I couldn`t own it until we had the ability to open.
MizzBlue72 Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 Well - I made the mistake of telling my sister who told my family. No - they are not supportive at all. My closest friend knows. She doesn't judge - just wants me to be OK. She thinks it is wrong. She really wants me to stop until he is completely divorced. MM? hasn't told anyone. He is STBD, but still. He knows the fall out that I have had with the family - they are really against it. I lied to family. Told them it was over, so, more secrets - more lies. Even thought I promised myself and told him point blank no more lies ... yesh, what a bunch of BS. He has not introduced me to anyone. I wonder if he ever will. I doubt it..... I guess time will tell, but not holding my breath on this end. I love him, and I know he has his own goals. He is not sure where his life is going, so I am sure that he wants everyone to never ever know. Who knows..... It will be two years that we have been together in September. Probably just collateral damage to him. Sometimes I wonder. I know he will never introduce me to anyone in his life while he is married. I am not sure if he will introduce me when he is D. Some days are better than others ... today, not so good. . . . . I am not sure of introducing him to my friends. They would rather not meet him at this time. wow - this post has given me a LOT to think over .......
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