dmr8843 Posted May 9, 2010 Posted May 9, 2010 I met a guy, whom I've grown to like over the past year. Unfortunately, he is married and I have tried to put aside my feelings because of this. To make a long story short this man and I talk on the phone every once in awhile whether it be about work, school, family, etc and he is very, VERY personal with me. He tells me things in his life that I wouldn't necessarily tell a classmate/friend and we have even went out for coffee once. I recently told him that I liked him and I expressed that I feel he likes me as well, but no response. He is still talking to me and we are friends, but he has not mentioned anything to me about what I said. I would like to think that he just likes me as a friend and I got the hint: he's not interested, but I am not sure. Is he avoiding me/the subject? Is he not interested? Or does he need time and should I address it again? Or should I leave him alone because again he is MARRIED and his friendship is means more to me than anything?
alphamale Posted May 9, 2010 Posted May 9, 2010 hes using you for emotional support. this is something that usually women do but a few men do it also i would break of all contact with him
bananalaffytaffy Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 You answered your own question. He is married. Unless you can keep it strictly platonic (meaning neither of you are to say anything you can't say in front of his wife) you need to cut contact completely.
MizzBlue72 Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 Leave him alone ...he may want to start something with you, but don't do it. Good luck. Keep posting!!!
joey66 Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 I met a guy, whom I've grown to like over the past year. Unfortunately, he is married and I have tried to put aside my feelings because of this. To make a long story short this man and I talk on the phone every once in awhile whether it be about work, school, family, etc and he is very, VERY personal with me. He tells me things in his life that I wouldn't necessarily tell a classmate/friend and we have even went out for coffee once. I recently told him that I liked him and I expressed that I feel he likes me as well, but no response. He is still talking to me and we are friends, but he has not mentioned anything to me about what I said. I would like to think that he just likes me as a friend and I got the hint: he's not interested, but I am not sure. Is he avoiding me/the subject? Is he not interested? Or does he need time and should I address it again? Or should I leave him alone because again he is MARRIED and his friendship is means more to me than anything? You told him what you feel and he still shares his personal life with you? I don't think he would share personal details if he didn't have feelings for you. But he might be having a hard time getting his arms around the idea of an EMR. It's such a taboo. The standard advice is to run away if the A hasn't started yet, but I get the feeling it has already started for you. If you feel strongly for him and you want to have an EMR, then you need to address it again. I think the best thing is to come straight out and ask him. (I know you said you already told him you have feelings, but men can be dense sometimes and we need to have things put to us in the simplest terms, repeatedly.) Tell him the truth - that you have feelings for him and you are not sure how he feels. That his behaviour has left you uncertain. That his friendship is important to you, whether or not it goes further than just friends. It sure sounds to me like he fell for someone (you) other than his W. It happens. Good luck to you, whatever you choose.
her_halo_slipped Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 I met a guy, whom I've grown to like over the past year. Unfortunately, he is married and I have tried to put aside my feelings because of this. To make a long story short this man and I talk on the phone every once in awhile whether it be about work, school, family, etc and he is very, VERY personal with me. He tells me things in his life that I wouldn't necessarily tell a classmate/friend and we have even went out for coffee once. I recently told him that I liked him and I expressed that I feel he likes me as well, but no response. He is still talking to me and we are friends, but he has not mentioned anything to me about what I said. I would like to think that he just likes me as a friend and I got the hint: he's not interested, but I am not sure. Is he avoiding me/the subject? Is he not interested? Or does he need time and should I address it again? Or should I leave him alone because again he is MARRIED and his friendship is means more to me than anything? Oh God. Run just run. This has the smackings of an EA on your part at least and if you don't remove yourself from the situation you will find yourself pining away for the fantasy relationship this could have been. It sounds like he is happy being friends but you are not. When you want more the frienship cart is tipped and you will never be happy until you get more or distort reality with the fantasy of it. It is too hard to stay friends when you really want more. Run now or you risk becoming like so many OP's on lovehsack. We have all been there, done it and are still recovering from the aftermath. Don't get involved. It just is not worth it.
bittersweet memories Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 I met a guy, whom I've grown to like over the past year. Unfortunately, he is married and I have tried to put aside my feelings because of this. To make a long story short this man and I talk on the phone every once in awhile whether it be about work, school, family, etc and he is very, VERY personal with me. He tells me things in his life that I wouldn't necessarily tell a classmate/friend and we have even went out for coffee once. I recently told him that I liked him and I expressed that I feel he likes me as well, but no response. He is still talking to me and we are friends, but he has not mentioned anything to me about what I said. I would like to think that he just likes me as a friend and I got the hint: he's not interested, but I am not sure. Is he avoiding me/the subject? Is he not interested? Or does he need time and should I address it again? Or should I leave him alone because again he is MARRIED and his friendship is means more to me than anything? Of course you should leave him alont because he's married. Move on!! You will get over the friendship I promise...
ADF Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 He is clearly trying to lure you into an affair and it sounds like you're game for it. Get away from this man now.
scatterd Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 I would run away He is married Dont you care about his wife.Marriage is a commitment to his wife single guys are the ones to date so you can have a future.Im sure after awhile you would end up getting hurt read and you will see what happens.
joey66 Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 One other thing. I tend to agree that you should run away. But the reason isn't because it's wrong or because it's not fair to his W, etc. The reason is what her_halo_slipped wrote. Read a few threads here and you'll get an idea of the pain involved in these relationships. Particularly if you want it more than he does. I can speak first hand to that situation. It hurts like nothing I've ever felt before. And there doesn't seem to be a cure. If you are hell-bent on pursuing this relationship, then I still think that you should talk with him and clear the air. Find out exactly where his head is at. If he doesn't want to address it, then you have you answer. You will still (mostly) find support here, either way.
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