Nalgene Posted May 9, 2010 Posted May 9, 2010 Well, I'm going out with this girl for a month now. The thing is I'm madly in love with her from first date, but I absolutely dont have any idea what she thinks. We haven't kissed yet, haven't even holded each other's hands. We met through a mutual friend. She adviced me "Talk to her like a friend, get to know her first. Have patience, relationships take time." What makes me really anxious is thinking that, What if she is just want to hang out with me? Maybe she don't see me as a serious boyfriend. I really like her and I know that my fellings are genuine (not a infatuation). This makes matters really complicated. I feeling so intensely about this now that I am thinking of telling her on next date 'I love you'. I can't take it anymore. I just wanna know what she think of me. Or should I wait. I'm really confused about what to do?
Sith Apprentice Posted May 9, 2010 Posted May 9, 2010 5 dates you should have already boned her by now.
Rorschach Posted May 9, 2010 Posted May 9, 2010 I feeling so intensely about this now that I am thinking of telling her on next date 'I love you'. I can't take it anymore. I just wanna know what she think of me. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Okay first things first, never use the word 'holded' again. Thanks this is for our species as a whole As for your problem you have to grow a pair and make a move, try holding hands or going in for a good night kiss on your next date. After 5 dates it's hardly too early to try and go in for a nice kiss. Thats your best option at this point, confessing how you feel is by far the worst thing you could possibly do.
Rorschach Posted May 9, 2010 Posted May 9, 2010 5 dates you should have already boned her by now. People like this make me irrationally angry. The internet is a hard world for me to live in sometimes.
Author Nalgene Posted May 10, 2010 Author Posted May 10, 2010 Thats your best option at this point, confessing how you feel is by far the worst thing you could possibly do. Ya, I agree, saying so kinda seems stupid and mawkish. This might simply mess up the whole scenarion As for holding hands, I am waiting on her for this. She is a sober girl and my approach might make her feel that I am just like any other guy who just wants sex. Anyway, any suggestions on how to approach to hold her hands?
Rorschach Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 Ya, I agree, saying so kinda seems stupid and mawkish. This might simply mess up the whole scenarion As for holding hands, I am waiting on her for this. She is a sober girl and my approach might make her feel that I am just like any other guy who just wants sex. Anyway, any suggestions on how to approach to hold her hands? Trust me, you're already well out of the 'guy who just wants sex' after five dates with no physical contact. One of the problems I see girls bring up on this site fairly often is a guy who has been fun to be around but after a few dates hasn't even tried to be physical. What you think is sending a signal of 'I respect your boundaries' is sometimes received as a 'I'm not really interested in you physically' This is obviously not a message you want to send. As far as just holding hands goes, if thats the route you want to go it's the easiest thing in the world. Personally I'm a fan of holding somebody's hand when you go to cross the street, make a joke about 'safety first' or some stupidly cheesy thing like that, and hold her hand. Then just don't stop when you get to the other side, I don't think she'd pull away, she'll probably just giggle and go along with it. If you aren't crossing any streets whats wrong with just walking close to her for a little while then just taking her hand and looking into her eyes and just acting like it's the most natural thing in the world? Confidence goes a long way.
AngryTroll Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 People like this make me irrationally angry. The internet is a hard world for me to live in sometimes. I co-signed this!
Author Nalgene Posted May 10, 2010 Author Posted May 10, 2010 Trust me, you're already well out of the 'guy who just wants sex' after five dates with no physical contact. One of the problems I see girls bring up on this site fairly often is a guy who has been fun to be around but after a few dates hasn't even tried to be physical. What you think is sending a signal of 'I respect your boundaries' is sometimes received as a 'I'm not really interested in you physically' This is obviously not a message you want to send. As far as just holding hands goes, if thats the route you want to go it's the easiest thing in the world. Personally I'm a fan of holding somebody's hand when you go to cross the street, make a joke about 'safety first' or some stupidly cheesy thing like that, and hold her hand. Then just don't stop when you get to the other side, I don't think she'd pull away, she'll probably just giggle and go along with it. If you aren't crossing any streets whats wrong with just walking close to her for a little while then just taking her hand and looking into her eyes and just acting like it's the most natural thing in the world? Confidence goes a long way. Great! this answers all of my questions. I haven't even mentioned to her even once about how she looks. I know she might be wondering if I cares about how she looks or not? I know it's high time to get physical or I might send the wrong signal that I'm interested in her physical. So in next date I am gonna do to two things, 1. Tell her that "You are looking great today." or like "this top looks good on you". 2. Hold her hands while walking (using some of the techniques you mentioned). Thanks again. Very excellent advice Rorschach!
Author Nalgene Posted May 10, 2010 Author Posted May 10, 2010 As for your problem you have to grow a pair and make a move, I am not sure what do you mean by this?
Rorschach Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 I am not sure what do you mean by this? It's a turn of phrase that just means you have to be brave and take the first step. As far as the personal compliment goes it's a great idea, make sure she knows you think she's attractive, everybody likes to feel appreciated.
Author Nalgene Posted May 10, 2010 Author Posted May 10, 2010 It's a turn of phrase that just means you have to be brave and take the first step. As far as the personal compliment goes it's a great idea, make sure she knows you think she's attractive, everybody likes to feel appreciated. Alright cool!....This makes things very clear for me. Next date is on thursday. I'll let know how things go. Hope you'll be around. Maybe if you give your email I'll contact you there.
Rorschach Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 Alright cool!....This makes things very clear for me. Next date is on thursday. I'll let know how things go. Hope you'll be around. Maybe if you give your email I'll contact you there. It'd be easier just to update this topic, I'm always around and I'll be sure to check.
Marks Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 I don't mean to detract from the OP's question, but I guess I'm in a similar situation, where I've been on several dates with a girl, and I'm still not sure whether she sees me as a romantic interest or just a person to hang out with. I've mentioned this in a different topic, we've kissed a little bit, but I don't know if she's just not that into it or if she's still shy about it? How would I go about coaxing out her feelings towards me? Do I just bring it up or do I have to be more subtle about it? I'd rather know sooner rather than later before I get too emotionally invested in her.
Rorschach Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 I don't mean to detract from the OP's question, but I guess I'm in a similar situation, where I've been on several dates with a girl, and I'm still not sure whether she sees me as a romantic interest or just a person to hang out with. I've mentioned this in a different topic, we've kissed a little bit, but I don't know if she's just not that into it or if she's still shy about it? How would I go about coaxing out her feelings towards me? Do I just bring it up or do I have to be more subtle about it? I'd rather know sooner rather than later before I get too emotionally invested in her. If she's still seeing you and engaging in even light kissing chances are she has feelings for you. You can't 'coax' out any feelings from women, their either there or they aren't, just keep doing what your doing and keep moving the relationship forwards physically, if she doesn't resist thats the sign that she likes you. You can try talking about it but I find it a hard subject to bring up and maybe prone to cause arguments.
sagetalk Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 I feeling so intensely about this now that I am thinking of telling her on next date 'I love you'. I can't take it anymore. I just wanna know what she think of me. Thank goodness someone saw this and gave you good advice. Do not say I love you yet it would almost certainly lead to disaster . One phrase of advice: Go for it!!!!! Now or never! If you're uncomfortable with kissing her, at least hold her hand, you've got to try something or this could torture you for a long time. If she responds well, you know she likes you, if not, then she's not that crazy about you.
Author Nalgene Posted May 11, 2010 Author Posted May 11, 2010 I don't mean to detract from the OP's question, but I guess I'm in a similar situation, where I've been on several dates with a girl, and I'm still not sure whether she sees me as a romantic interest or just a person to hang out with. I've mentioned this in a different topic, we've kissed a little bit, but I don't know if she's just not that into it or if she's still shy about it? How would I go about coaxing out her feelings towards me? Do I just bring it up or do I have to be more subtle about it? I'd rather know sooner rather than later before I get too emotionally invested in her. there is no point in asking her about her feelings. You might come as Mr. desperate & needy and it might eventually ruin the whole thing for you. So the only way would be, as I learned it, to wait patiently and let it unfold. Try to make advances, if she don't resists then you know. But if she hesitates then that doesn't necessarily mean anything bad. If she is going out with you that long then she definitely likes you. Maybe she doesn't see you as a serious boyfriend now, but she wants to know you more. Talking about it openly will make things too awkward and artificial.
Author Nalgene Posted May 11, 2010 Author Posted May 11, 2010 you've got to try something or this could torture you for a long time. ya, i know that feeling
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