Aulie Posted May 9, 2010 Posted May 9, 2010 So here's some background on this situation, sorry it's so long: About a year and a half ago my friend started seeing this guy (Dan). They got kind of close, but he decided he didn't want a relationship with her so they stayed friends. About a year ago I met Dan. I could tell he was interested in me, but I had a boyfriend, plus he had that thing with my friend and I knew he fancied himself to be a bit of a ladies man. A saw him a few times after that over the next couple of months and around 6 months ago he added me on Facebook. A few weeks later my then boyfriend and I broke up, and this is when Dan started speaking to me on Facebook chat. He was always really flirty, but I tried to keep things relatively friendly. In December he invited me to his friends bday party and I ended up going because my original plans fell through. He wasn't particularly flirty or anything, and when I left to go home he apologized for not being able to leave with me and even suggested we meet for dinner some time. After I left I was a little confused about why I was even invited in the first place. I told my friend about meeting up with him because I didn't want her to think I was trying to be sneaky behind her back or anything. To my surprise she tells me that she's not upset, but she's more concerned for his girlfriend! He completely neglected to tell me about having a girlfriend, and his facebook status always said single so I had no idea. I immediately blocked him on facebook chat. About a month later he sent me a message asking if I was ignoring him. So I felt bad and started talking to him again. Eventually he changed his facebook status to 'in a relationship' so I thought to myself "oh well maybe they just made it official". Well just last week his status went back to single again, so I asked him what happened and I asked if he was ok. Come to find out he had been with this girl for a year, and he had been flirting with me online since October, not to mention the couple of times I met him in person where he was flirting with me. Well he ended up asking me if I had met any guys lately and I told him I'd met this one guy, but he was a little immature. Dan replied that I need a guy who was mature, handsome, blah blah blah... he was describing himself. I just 'LOL'ed, but then he carried it further and asked me to meet up. I told him I didn't feel comfortable meeting up with him because he had just broken up with his girlfriend and I would have been livid if my ex met up with another girl just days after we broke up. He suggested we meet up as friends, but said he didn't want to come out with me to the bar I was already going out to (which I did not invite him to anyway). I suggested we meet up for a few hours beforehand and his reply was "well what am I supposed to do when you leave?" He suggested we meet up this coming Saturday instead, and I wanted to say no, but I said maybe because he was being really insistent and pushy. I don't trust him though seeing how he treated my friend and his girlfriend and I really don't want to get involved with him as anything more than friends. My question is, should I tell him exactly why I don't want to meet up with him (basically the story I just told) or would it be better to just make up some excuse as to why I can't meet up and hope that he eventually just moves on to pursuing some other chick?
SomewhatExperienced Posted May 9, 2010 Posted May 9, 2010 I would. If you like this guy enough that you'd remain friends tell him that you want to be friends but you were getting a strong vibe that he was trying to come on to you and you knew he had a girlfriend at the time, and that makes you very weary of taking your relationship any further than that. At least it'd be a wake up call for him.
Author Aulie Posted May 10, 2010 Author Posted May 10, 2010 SomewhatExperienced, that's what I would hope would happen, but I'm worried he'll just try to justify his actions with all kinds of bull**** excuses and try to make me question my judgement. I'd like to make him see the error of his ways, but I'm worried that either he'll get defensive and it'll turn into a fight or that he might pester me to let him show me he's "not really like that". Should I try anyway, or is it not even worth the hassle?
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