mike1988 Posted May 9, 2010 Posted May 9, 2010 I can't even get a bartender hottie who is already a young mother to be sexually interested in me. I talked to her a bit on and off throughout the time I was there, and when I eventually said "I like you, you're cute" and her response was, "Aww, thanks...you're nice!" I swear...I'm a red-blooded man...not a freakin' poodle. Maybe from now on I'll be mean towards women because it seems that if I am nice, I get turned down.
Kamille Posted May 9, 2010 Posted May 9, 2010 Meanwhile, she's on some other forum posting about the fact men think she's "cute" but not "hot". Why would you automatically assume that was a let down? Did you follow up by asking for her number or did you just assume "thanks, you're nice" means she's not interested? I think the biggest issue is that she's the bartender. She gets hit on all the time.
bananalaffytaffy Posted May 9, 2010 Posted May 9, 2010 Geez, what did you expect? Did you expect us womenfolk to just lift up our skirts to anyone who pays us a compliment? Did you think she might be easy because she's a bartender? Misogynistic much?
Author mike1988 Posted May 9, 2010 Author Posted May 9, 2010 Meanwhile, she's on some other forum posting about the fact men think she's "cute" but not "hot". Why would you automatically assume that was a let down? Did you follow up by asking for her number or did you just assume "thanks, you're nice" means she's not interested? I think the biggest issue is that she's the bartender. She gets hit on all the time. Exactly. Why the hell would a smoking hot 33 year old bartender with kids be interested in me, one random guy out of many and clearly not the hottest to hit on her. If I can't even go to bars or clubs to get women, I'm in for a lonely life.
Jersey Shortie Posted May 9, 2010 Posted May 9, 2010 Geez, what did you expect? Did you expect us womenfolk to just lift up our skirts to anyone who pays us a compliment? Really. That is what it sounds like. OP. Grow up! You're 33, not 18 and just rejected by a girl you asked to the prom. If you treat women like crap, it's because *you* want to. Not because of anything any woman has done.
Author mike1988 Posted May 9, 2010 Author Posted May 9, 2010 Really. That is what it sounds like. OP. Grow up! You're 33, not 18 and just rejected by a girl you asked to the prom. If you treat women like crap, it's because *you* want to. Not because of anything any woman has done. Then why am I cursed with being a "nice" guy? When I hear that it scares me into thinking that not only will I not be able to enjoy my youth and have fun with women, but I'll never be able to be married, have a family or kids. I'm 22 this year, time's passing.
Kamille Posted May 9, 2010 Posted May 9, 2010 Ok, I don't know the poster's history but how did anyone get to jumping to the conclusion that he's misogynistic because he met a girl, felt she wasn't interested in him and now feels like talking about it? This is the exact same thing a bunch of guys did awhile back: it's twisting a thread into some kind of gender war agenda. Yes, there are problems on this board but seriously? A guy can't even complain about his lame luck anymore? OP, I'm not sure if you answered my question: did you follow up the compliment by asking for her number?
Author mike1988 Posted May 9, 2010 Author Posted May 9, 2010 OP, I'm not sure if you answered my question: did you follow up the compliment by asking for her number? Of course not. She doesn't know me and if I did, I doubt she would have given it to me anyways. LOL She has three kids and works in a bar, my chances are slim anyways. My point wasn't that I could have gotten her, trust me, she's such a gorgeous redhead I have no shot, but the fact she told me I was really "nice" got me down more, you know?
sagetalk Posted May 9, 2010 Posted May 9, 2010 Really. That is what it sounds like. OP. Grow up! You're 33, not 18 and just rejected by a girl you asked to the prom. If you treat women like crap, it's because *you* want to. Not because of anything any woman has done. Many men treat women badly because it makes them more attractive to women. You'd have to be a guy to understand it. It's horrible, I'd never do it, but it works. It disgusts me .
Engadget Posted May 9, 2010 Posted May 9, 2010 Geez, what did you expect? Did you expect us womenfolk to just lift up our skirts to anyone who pays us a compliment? Did you think she might be easy because she's a bartender? Misogynistic much? That's not at all how I see it. He was hoping for something other than the word NICE. Way to jump to conclusions.
Author mike1988 Posted May 9, 2010 Author Posted May 9, 2010 Many men treat women badly because it makes them more attractive to women. You'd have to be a guy to understand it. It's horrible, I'd never do it, but it works. It disgusts me . As scary as it sounds, I think it's true. How could a guy who treats women like crap have women all over him and they think he's "hot", yet a guy like me, who served in the Military and who is 6 ft tall and has a deep voice and who treats women decent without being a pushover becomes every woman's big brother? And don't say it's confidence. I exude confidence when I'm around women and it just makes them all say the same crap: "Well...I'd never date you...but I'm sure women think you're hot..." blah blah
Beerme Posted May 9, 2010 Posted May 9, 2010 I don't get this thread at all. The OP said he was turned down, but he never made a move, so how was he ever turned down? Telling a woman that she's cute isn't really putting yourself out thered. She's a good looking bartender, so she's going to hear a lot of compliments from all sorts of guys. I'm figuring that if its a busy bar, it happens multiple times each night. In her mind, most of the compliments don't even mean much anymore, and its all just harmless flirting. I'm guessing that she didn't take what the OP said as much more than a simple compliment. IF the OP wanted to get her interested, he'd have to set himself apart from the crowd. Also, the only way to actually find out of she was interested would probably be to actually ask her out. She's a bartender. She's going to flirt with guys at the bar because that's what good looking bartenders do. They do it because management wants them to, and because they get better tips. 99 percent of it is all innocent and in good fun, so to get a real gauge on her possible interest in the OP, I think he needed to do more than what he did.
start-fresh Posted May 9, 2010 Posted May 9, 2010 OP, this is ridiculous. First of all, you called her 'cute', she called you 'nice'. She could have been as insulted as you were for all you knew. Also, if she's as hot as you claim, do you have any idea how often drunk guys try to pick her up? Why should she think you're any different than every other bar patron she regularly serves?
Author mike1988 Posted May 9, 2010 Author Posted May 9, 2010 OP, this is ridiculous. First of all, you called her 'cute', she called you 'nice'. She could have been as insulted as you were for all you knew. Also, if she's as hot as you claim, do you have any idea how often drunk guys try to pick her up? Why should she think you're any different than every other bar patron she regularly serves? Then how come guys always say go to a bar if you wanna get a chick??
Bejita463 Posted May 9, 2010 Posted May 9, 2010 Then how come guys always say go to a bar if you wanna get a chick?? I don't even understand what you are trying to ask here. Bars are a horrible place to go if you are looking for more than a lay, and going for the bartender is kinda swinging for the fence.
Author mike1988 Posted May 9, 2010 Author Posted May 9, 2010 I don't even understand what you are trying to ask here. Bars are a horrible place to go if you are looking for more than a lay, and going for the bartender is kinda swinging for the fence. Well every other pretty girl has a guy with her at bars...it's like I'm the only single guy out there.
marsle85 Posted May 9, 2010 Posted May 9, 2010 Maybe from now on I'll be mean towards women because it seems that if I am nice, I get turned down. This comment is what makes you a child, not that you're "nice". No real red-blooded-"man" would ever say this.
Bejita463 Posted May 9, 2010 Posted May 9, 2010 Well every other pretty girl has a guy with her at bars...it's like I'm the only single guy out there. It could be worse. I've gone to clubs a few times with friends here (their idea, not mine. I don't drink), and every single time we've been the only ones who look like the children of everyone else who's there.
FryFish Posted May 9, 2010 Posted May 9, 2010 Fajita is right... You dont go to the bar and hit on the bartender and expect anything to happen. The bartender is the ONE person there who ISNT there to have fun....
Engadget Posted May 9, 2010 Posted May 9, 2010 I don't even understand what you are trying to ask here. Bars are a horrible place to go if you are looking for more than a lay, and going for the bartender is kinda swinging for the fence. Yeah the female bartenders get hit on a million times a day, I wouldn't even bother with it.
sally4sara Posted May 9, 2010 Posted May 9, 2010 I can't even get a bartender hottie who is already a young mother to be sexually interested in me. I talked to her a bit on and off throughout the time I was there, and when I eventually said "I like you, you're cute" and her response was, "Aww, thanks...you're nice!" I swear...I'm a red-blooded man...not a freakin' poodle. Maybe from now on I'll be mean towards women because it seems that if I am nice, I get turned down. Yes, because those women should be so desperate as to want to bring barflies around their children just to get some sexual zest in their sad little lives. If it makes you feel any better, I DON'T think you're so nice.
ADF Posted May 9, 2010 Posted May 9, 2010 You talk about the fact this woman is a young mother as if it is something that cheapens her, that should make her lower her standards. Frankly, you don't sound very "nice" to me at all. You sounds like a whiny, judgemental jerk with a sense of entitlement. Maybe that's why women reject you.
Lakeside_runner Posted May 9, 2010 Posted May 9, 2010 Haha, reading this post I have this mental image of a medieval town where people lead a person in chains to the town square and yell "Witch! Burn the witch!"
Feelin Frisky Posted May 9, 2010 Posted May 9, 2010 I can't even get a bartender hottie who is already a young mother to be sexually interested in me. I talked to her a bit on and off throughout the time I was there, and when I eventually said "I like you, you're cute" and her response was, "Aww, thanks...you're nice!" I swear...I'm a red-blooded man...not a freakin' poodle. Maybe from now on I'll be mean towards women because it seems that if I am nice, I get turned down. She's working. It was polite and "nice" of her not to just serve you your beer and find something immediately else to do--it's easy for a bar tender to even rewash glasses to get away from one of the many guys who either come on to her or pester her. Ever consider it might be a litle selfish to expect more of a woman doing her job trying to suport her child? You need to get out more and don't expect "the help" to get sexually interested in you on the job.
zebracolors Posted May 9, 2010 Posted May 9, 2010 I recall the OP was one who was brave, (or crazy) has shared his real life picture, which I think he's a good-looking man personally. I would feel lucky if the OP told me I was cute. As a woman who generally does not get compliments like "you're cute" in social settings, I would think she'd be very flattered for the compliment, maybe more then she let on. And because she maybe gets alot of them that is why she was so likable even though to her, she is just doing her job, and she's aware that she is considered attractive by most standards. I would take the advice already posted here and not worry so much that it's a rejection. Besides the next woman you feel is cute and tell, may react alot different and in a more receptive way, you never know!
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