VideoKid Posted May 9, 2010 Posted May 9, 2010 Heres the background story. In the past couple of months me and my ex have been on and off a bit - one minute he didn't care, the next he wanted to spend his life with me. He always said whatever happened he'd be sad to lose me. Anyway we were in an "off" period so I went out tuesday night and he was there too - he avoided me so towards the end of the night I went to chat to him. He was being a bit of an idiot because he was trying to make out he didn't care infront of his friends. I told him if he didn't care to just walk away, he didn't and told me he cared a bit. In the end I got fed up with him and he said he didn't want to be with me and went home. I've gone NC with him since, to be honest its kind of a relief to get out of the whole on/off situation. However, every other time he's always text me later or the next day, this time nothing. I want to heal and move on but it's still kinda upsetting me in the back of my mind that he doesn't seem to care. He blocked me and deleted me on msn but kept me on facebook, i assume to keep tabs on me. He obviously found out that I went out saturday night and had a great time, I was chatting to one of my old friends who's a guy (ex never liked me talking to him) so he obviously found out, got pissed off and has just deleted me on fb too. Is it so bad that I wish I knew if he even cared that I was gone? No official goodbye? not a single text since he walked away? I know its only been 5 days but i keep hoping for some hint that I did mean something to him!
RedThorn Posted May 9, 2010 Posted May 9, 2010 You have just started the healing process. It is going to be a bit tough at the end, but will get better day by day. Move on, you will definitely find someone much better. Good luck and be happy!
spiderowl Posted May 9, 2010 Posted May 9, 2010 It sounds like he's young, changeable and not grown up enough to commit himself to a girl. He wants you but wants to be free. At the moment, the being free side of him is winning. He is obviously peeved though that you are expecting more than he is up to and yet he's still feeling some jealousy. Really, you need someone more mature than him. Don't waste time on him if he can't decide whether he cares or not, you deserve someone more wholehearted. It's not wrong to want him to care, it's perfectly natural, but don't waste any more time on him. Like other posters said, best to keep a distance now to give yourself chance to get over this.
Author VideoKid Posted May 9, 2010 Author Posted May 9, 2010 Thanks for the advice! You're right spiderowl, he is young. 20 to be exact, quite a bit younger than me. I have a confession to make actually, I broke NC tonight after 5 days but it was the best thing I could have ever done - I text him and he replied with the same jealousy and immaturity as always - i instantly realised what I WASN'T missing!! He told me to leave him alone and then half an hour later sent me a sad text. I guess he does care, despite saying he doesn't but that reminder of what he was really like gave me the boost I needed to realise i'm better of without i guess breaking NC is good sometimes!
spiderowl Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 (edited) I bet more people than would admit end up breaking no contact at some point. It's not human to suddenly cut off from someone, though after a while we start to see how it helps us to cope and move on. He's bound to have mixed feelings. I don't think anyone can have a relationship end and not feel anything, unless they are a psychopath or sociopath. It does sound like it would always be painful with him though. You could find someone who has a clearer idea of what he wants and who wants you. I have been where you are and it really hurts. It's not 'til you meet someone who is wholehearted that you realise the difference. Sometimes giving up on one poor relationship has a dramatic effect on self-confidence as you realise you've not only drawn a line under it but also taken a stand about how you want to be treated. I'm sure it has another effect though and that's to make us more likely to meet someone new. One door has to close psychologically before the second (and better) one opens. That's my theory anyway! All the best to you. Edited May 10, 2010 by spiderowl
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