goodfriends Posted May 9, 2010 Posted May 9, 2010 So me and my friend have this great friend who is moving away in 3 and a half months to live with her boyfriend. She has a two and a half year old daughter, (with someone else) and they have been long distance for 8 months at the most, but been talking for year. They have never lived together and they visit every few months to see eachother. Me and my friend have noticed some signs that make us believe hes shady and isnt being faithful or isnt into actually being serious because moving in together when u havent even lived in the same town or been around eachother is pretty extreme and not a smart choice when u have a childs life in ur hands and u need to establish Some of the signs include: 1. When she mentioned moving there with him he said he hopes shes not moving for him and she replied why else would she. We thnk that hes implying "well, okay then move here but if it doesnt owrk out dont think i didnt warm you and that she pretty much better have her own thing going on incase. 2. he hasnt taken her to any of his family dinners when hes visited town and has even mentoined how hes embarassed because she says things that are inappropriate at times without thinking. 3.he wont say hes in a relationship with her on facebook as he had previous issues with tghe last gf and it being too vocal about when they broke up and got back togeter but he wont even say hes in a relationship period. Also, a girl posted pics of him and her on fb and then my friend posted pics of her and hm too on fb and rght after he blocked his profile so no one can tag him or write on his walls or even have a profile pic and etc. we think thats shady.. let us know if you think we should confront her and let her know..sshe has even came to my friend and mentioned she thinks something is up before but is sitll adament on moving and kind of convincing us how in it he is. will we be bad friends if we dont say how we feel and possibly save her from making a mistake and jepardizing her childs life by not establishing stability when clearly hes unsure about everything? we just think she should move there and not in with him so they can ease into because its not gonna work if they just jump into it or well atleast the way we see it..thanks
madjac74 Posted May 9, 2010 Posted May 9, 2010 I can relate to some of this and can probably help but I wont give too much of myself unless I hear about how they met and how long they have been together. Ive experienced some of this but my LDR and I have worked hard to get past it.I will help but im no expert though
Author goodfriends Posted May 9, 2010 Author Posted May 9, 2010 they have been together for 8 months officially but were talking for 4 months before as friends and they met in their hometown at amutual friends party i just wanna know if we should confront her and explain the risk shes taking when it isnt as serious as it seems by his actions
madjac74 Posted May 9, 2010 Posted May 9, 2010 (edited) Ok let me tell you my opinion on these issues...You seem young and our situations are probably very different. Thats what I wanted more information about. Some of the signs include: 1. When she mentioned moving there with him he said he hopes shes not moving for him and she replied why else would she. We thnk that hes implying "well, okay then move here but if it doesnt owrk out dont think i didnt warm you and that she pretty much better have her own thing going on incase. We have kids involved in our relationship so moving is a whole different story entirely but she didnt want me to feel like I had to move to keep the relationship going. That will often be a problem in an LDR cuz they feel like they are taking you away from everything you know...family, friends, job etc... They dont want that burden on them and its completely understandable. 2. he hasnt taken her to any of his family dinners when hes visited town and has even mentoined how hes embarassed because she says things that are inappropriate at times without thinking. This is a touchy subject with us. She has met alot of my family and friends and most importantly my kids. I havent met any of hers or her daughter. Ive communicated with some of her friends on yahoo but I often feel like im not part of the group and we even tried to set up our friends together. But overall you have me on this one. Definately something to inquire about. 3.he wont say hes in a relationship with her on facebook as he had previous issues with tghe last gf and it being too vocal about when they broke up and got back togeter but he wont even say hes in a relationship period. Also, a girl posted pics of him and her on fb and then my friend posted pics of her and hm too on fb and rght after he blocked his profile so no one can tag him or write on his walls or even have a profile pic and etc. we think thats shady.. My girlfriends exes still bother her and are a constant disrespect to our relationship. She doesnt like to send me pics but i have caught her sending them to other guys in a chatroom. Im not helping am I? I guess the point is I confronted her about all these issues and we argued. We are still together. So yes if your friend has something to say then she needs to say it. If he cant handle it then you know where the relationship is going Edited May 9, 2010 by madjac74
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