amz Posted May 9, 2010 Share Posted May 9, 2010 Just wanna hear some storys, Been dumped by your ex? was it out of the blue? Did they ever come back after realising that the grass isnt always greener on the other side. Link to post Share on other sites
sandiego Posted May 9, 2010 Share Posted May 9, 2010 I was broken up with after a three year relationship. She wanted to get married, I wasn't so sure. She received a job offer one day, then out of the blue, she moves out and down to Flordia....literally felt like it was overnight. Things were pretty good at the time too. Three months of pining later...I let it go and began dating again. I think my ex had an inkling that this was happening.....all of a sudden she realized she made the "biggest mistake of her life", and wants to reconcile. I ditch the new chick to try again....were back together for a month LDR...then after a month she ditched me AGAIN for a new guy. We're still in contact (don't ask me why)....her "new guy" broke up with her. Guess who she call for support now....ugh. Link to post Share on other sites
LostInLimbo Posted May 10, 2010 Share Posted May 10, 2010 My Ex came back 3 times only to boot me again, for a 4th, its called doing it as a convenience to them, not because they actually care, but I am with someone who treats me like a human being and never will go back to the Cheater and Liar, under any circumstances LiL Link to post Share on other sites
dan_the_man Posted May 10, 2010 Share Posted May 10, 2010 Yes, they always come back when you least expect them too. Link to post Share on other sites
witabix Posted May 10, 2010 Share Posted May 10, 2010 Yes, they always come back when you least expect them too. Oh ****, I hope thats not right, I really do. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted May 10, 2010 Share Posted May 10, 2010 The only time I've seen an ex come crawling back to me was when they had downtime between "other" relationships. When they met someone new, they would SPRINT to get away. If you keep this behavior in mind it will help you be more reserved if an ex, someone who clearly walked away from you (happily I might add), wants to come back. My point is that if someone really loves you, they don't walk away. Ever. I have never willingly walked away from someone I loved but when I realized they didn't feel the same way, I really had no choice. Wallow in the mire or be happy. That is simply a CHOICE. Cheers. Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted May 10, 2010 Share Posted May 10, 2010 Yes, my ex-H cheated on me and begged to be forgiven. I told him I am not in the business of forgiving. Even now that we are divorced he thinks we had something "beautiful" and should try again......I do not remember the "beautiful" part..but yeah, we had something. Personally, I would not take anyone back who did something wrong to me. I get to a point of indifference. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted May 10, 2010 Share Posted May 10, 2010 Yup, had a guy dump me out of the blue when things seemed really good. A year later he came back around and killed all the fond memories I had of us. Made it easier to not think so highly of him anymore sure, but it also inspired the adoption of the rule: if it can't be worked out IN the relationship - it just can't be worked out at all. Link to post Share on other sites
JohnnyBlaze Posted May 10, 2010 Share Posted May 10, 2010 Yep, I had one try it; an ex-fiancée. The "bad boy" she left me for turned out to be just that; a bad boy. He was a drug dealer who was mentally abusive towards her and had no desire to take the responsibility of being a father to the baby he helped conceive shortly after she left me for him. It became quickly obvious that she wanted a baby's daddy, and was hoping I'd be it. However, as her life had gone downhill since we split, mine went up. I had a much better job, more education, I'd started riding, and I was out having the time of my life. All she did was moan and groan about all of the problems she's had, but didn't say two words about having done anything to fix any of them, even when I explicitly asked her. She wanted someone to ride in and save her, and she wanted that someone to be me. I had a good life and wasn't about to sacrifice it simply because she made a poor choice and left me. I'm no white knight. Link to post Share on other sites
Ilovecake Posted May 10, 2010 Share Posted May 10, 2010 Yes they all come back sooner or later, usually a few years later, when their life is in the crapper. I've only had one ex who did not try to come back. I'm actually dealing with a guy right now who I was with for only a month. I haven't talk to or seen him in 8 years all of a sudden he got a hold of me. He's been very creepy and proclaiming his undying love to me. I keep telling him I'm absolutely not interested but he keeps trying. Stupid me wished him a happy b-day on his facebook, because he begged me to. He erased every happy birthday wish on his page but mine. I am no longer picking up the phone and when he sends me messages I just delete them without reading them. I’m very creeped out by his relentlessness. Link to post Share on other sites
sean1970 Posted May 10, 2010 Share Posted May 10, 2010 I’m very creeped out by his relentlessness. No one likes a quitter Cake... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
cmichael16 Posted May 10, 2010 Share Posted May 10, 2010 Yes they all come back sooner or later, usually a few years later, when their life is in the crapper. I've only had one ex who did not try to come back. I'm actually dealing with a guy right now who I was with for only a month. I haven't talk to or seen him in 8 years all of a sudden he got a hold of me. He's been very creepy and proclaiming his undying love to me. I keep telling him I'm absolutely not interested but he keeps trying. Stupid me wished him a happy b-day on his facebook, because he begged me to. He erased every happy birthday wish on his page but mine. I am no longer picking up the phone and when he sends me messages I just delete them without reading them. I’m very creeped out by his relentlessness. Yikes, so its almost been 3 months sinc ethe big breakup, I finally got the true reson a few weeks ago and have gone NC, the true reason was "Our Happiness Was only Temporary" yikes, and I treated her like a queen. She is always texting me her problems with money now and that shes happy with her new man (she didnt leave me for him thank god) but shes smoking a lot of pot and getting ready to quit her job. Shes 21 im 27 (28 next week) I kindof hope she doesnt come crawling back because I, being the sucker I am, would probably take her back, fix her up and she would walk away again. I just hope she doesnt come back. In the meantime I have lost 55lbs and am going for more I decided, working out and having a blast (I think I am done coping). I ignore most of her texts by the way. I know this may be the wrong thread but we were together 2.5 years, do youall think she will come back based on all that? Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted May 10, 2010 Share Posted May 10, 2010 Yikes, so its almost been 3 months sinc ethe big breakup, I finally got the true reson a few weeks ago and have gone NC, the true reason was "Our Happiness Was only Temporary" yikes, and I treated her like a queen. She is always texting me her problems with money now and that shes happy with her new man (she didnt leave me for him thank god) but shes smoking a lot of pot and getting ready to quit her job. Shes 21 im 27 (28 next week) I kindof hope she doesnt come crawling back because I, being the sucker I am, would probably take her back, fix her up and she would walk away again. I just hope she doesnt come back. In the meantime I have lost 55lbs and am going for more I decided, working out and having a blast (I think I am done coping). I ignore most of her texts by the way. I know this may be the wrong thread but we were together 2.5 years, do youall think she will come back based on all that? Well two issues that stand out: 1. You treated her like a queen (bad idea) 2. She's a pot smoker (bad idea) My point is there are red flags here that should show you this is not a good relationship. Her being 21 means she isn't sure what she wants either. Instead of focusing her on the possibility she will come back it's much better for you to focus on the NEXT one that will arrive. It'll be much better for you in the long run! Link to post Share on other sites
cmichael16 Posted May 10, 2010 Share Posted May 10, 2010 Well two issues that stand out: 1. You treated her like a queen (bad idea) 2. She's a pot smoker (bad idea) My point is there are red flags here that should show you this is not a good relationship. Her being 21 means she isn't sure what she wants either. Instead of focusing her on the possibility she will come back it's much better for you to focus on the NEXT one that will arrive. It'll be much better for you in the long run! Hmm, not really focusing on her per se, kinda worried that me bing the nice guy I am would take her back and fix her up, then shed be on her way. I am focused on the next one, I am talking to someone I find very special and wont screw that up. I am unfortunately one of those nice guys... and to clarify, treating her like a queen was paying her bills, giving her a free place to live, paying for her food, and loving her unconditionally. She did a good bit of cleaning and cooking I suppose, and she at least loved me back, until she got the notion to leave lol. Its no big deal, really, Im just worried I would get suckered in somehow. Link to post Share on other sites
sean1970 Posted May 10, 2010 Share Posted May 10, 2010 Hmm, not really focusing on her per se, kinda worried that me bing the nice guy I am would take her back and fix her up, then shed be on her way. I am focused on the next one, I am talking to someone I find very special and wont screw that up. I am unfortunately one of those nice guys... and to clarify, treating her like a queen was paying her bills, giving her a free place to live, paying for her food, and loving her unconditionally. She did a good bit of cleaning and cooking I suppose, and she at least loved me back, until she got the notion to leave lol. Its no big deal, really, Im just worried I would get suckered in somehow. You need to read this... No More Mr. Nice Guy Link to post Share on other sites
cmichael16 Posted May 10, 2010 Share Posted May 10, 2010 (edited) You need to read this... No More Mr. Nice Guy Hmm, Thanks, I think I will order that one. But really I dont neglect my own needs or lash out at family... but I am sure there are some good insights in there. Thanks EDIT, ordered, Thanks for the advice and sorry for the thread jack Edited May 10, 2010 by cmichael16 Link to post Share on other sites
sean1970 Posted May 10, 2010 Share Posted May 10, 2010 Hmm, Thanks, I think I will order that one. But really I dont neglect my own needs or lash out at family... but I am sure there are some good insights in there. Thanks EDIT, ordered, Thanks for the advice and sorry for the thread jack Good, but be prepared, its a tough read sometimes. No, its not Atlas Shrugged, I mean it's going to be a sobering experience. I'm betting you will be surprised how much you neglect yourself and the ramifications that actually has. I'd be interested in your take after you read it... Link to post Share on other sites
Ilovecake Posted May 10, 2010 Share Posted May 10, 2010 and to clarify, treating her like a queen was paying her bills, giving her a free place to live, paying for her food, and loving her unconditionally. I'm sorry but that's not being a nice guy that's being a door matt. What's wrong with her that she can buy smoke but not pay her bills? Link to post Share on other sites
sean1970 Posted May 10, 2010 Share Posted May 10, 2010 that's being a door matt. "Nice Guys" often can't make the distinction. Link to post Share on other sites
cmichael16 Posted May 10, 2010 Share Posted May 10, 2010 I'm sorry but that's not being a nice guy that's being a door matt. What's wrong with her that she can buy smoke but not pay her bills? Dunno, Dont care, not my problem any more Link to post Share on other sites
Ilovecake Posted May 10, 2010 Share Posted May 10, 2010 that was rhetorical question. My point was that letting people walk all over you does not equal nice. You can be nice without being a pushover. Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted May 10, 2010 Share Posted May 10, 2010 My ex kept coming back. Being a man starved for sex, I'd give in and we'd start the relationship back up with new hopes. Each time it wound up in disaster. I had to move and get a new phone number to keep her from just showing up after 2 or 3 months. It had to end. I so wish it could have worked out but she was just no good out of bed. I won a special achievement award at my job which could have changed some of the dynamics but I decided to buy a co-op in Manhattan, sell my car and leave Brooklyn so she couldn't find me. She was everything I wanted in a lover but her borderline personality and my lack of understanding of it at the time, just made me feel like there wasn't one person that I could know and love--just a strange melange of confused interchangeable identities all of whom had problems with trust. I got a real education in the thing we call "complexes". Link to post Share on other sites
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