DenverBachelor Posted May 9, 2010 Posted May 9, 2010 This is what I've realized in the past six months: - Nothing lasts forever. The sun will go nova and engulf the Earth. Every building and skyscraper you see will some day fall. Cities are born and grow and cities eventually shift and change. The skyline you see outside your window will someday be drastically different and, far into the future, someday there will be no more sky. We're born into the world and as a kid everything seems magical. With so few experiences behind us and so many new ones in front of us, each experience is profound in some way or another. We do so much growing up in the first few years of our lives, and then spend the remainder of our lives trying to reach back to heal whatever pain or abandonment we felt as kids. - Something doesn't have to last forever to be meaningful Since this is a relationship board, this pertains especially to relationships. Not just sexual relationships, but every relationship we establish in our lives. Look around you and look at everyone around you. One day every one of them will be dead. Each and every one of them are just as confused about love and life as you are. In this situation, the entire world is blind and we're all trying to lead each other around. Most days we're too focused on the report that is due or the project deadline coming up and forget about the wider scope -- life from beginning to end. Every time we get into a love relationship with another person and open ourselves up to the rewards and risks that come with love, we do so with the hope that it will last forever. It only feels natural to establish that kind of life bond with someone because, let's face it, when our grandparents pass away and then our parents and then some of our closest friends and relatives, we want someone that can share that pain with us. Life is brutal and nobody wants to go through it alone. - You came into this world alone and you will leave it alone Every hard lesson life teaches us is a lesson meant to make us grow in some way. Some people write books, some people play music and some people use art as an outlet to leave some permanent mark on society teaching those that come after us what they learned from life. If you aren't following your passions and expressing yourself in some way, you are already half dead. If you let another person define you, you're already 2/3rds dead. The best relationships are forged from the most independent people. - No matter what mistake you've made, you're allowed to grow from it Maybe you didn't spend enough time with him or her. Maybe you didn't call your mother enough and regret it now that you cannot. Whatever your situation, the one thing that you can do is learn from your mistakes and grow from them. Some mistakes are made from negligence, some from pride and some from pure malice. But whatever the mistake made, it is important to focus on the lessons learned and looking inward to find the reasons for those mistakes. Often times the reasons aren't evident until far after the mistake is made. - Some people say goodbye and we'll never understand why Whether it is a breakup or sudden silence or a friend just disappearing, some people will say goodbye to you in your life and you won't have the luxury of knowing why or untangling those loose threads they leave behind. Sometimes the person you knew and loved for a very long time will be completely different one morning. And when they look at you and say goodbye, you won't see reflections of love in their eyes but a dull indifference. It will never make sense. It doesn't seem human and we'll never understand all the complicated emotions, chemicals, hormones and situations that all come together to turn them into a different person. We can only accept that, go through the process of grieving and eventually get back to an even keel and realize that life isn't always logical or predictable. Emotions can switch quickly and, when they do, we're never in a position to anticipate the sudden change. - Love is truly ubiquitous Even when the love dies between you and the person you thought you once knew, realize that love itself is ubiquitous and everywhere. There are a lot of people in this world, and the person who left you is just one out of so many that you would be compatible with. And somewhere, out there in that great big universe, there is a person who, like you, won't call it quits.
witabix Posted May 9, 2010 Posted May 9, 2010 I really liked that Denver. I feel those words. I've lived through times when those things dawned on me, but it took me twenty years or more. Even though I am older and wiser now I still make great leaps of faith that end with that 'Wile E. Coyote' moment, crestfallen I realise that the mountain has run out, and plummet to the ground with a resigned look on my face. And I may have quit now. But I hope not.
mickleb Posted May 9, 2010 Posted May 9, 2010 I had a Wile E. Coyote moment myself yesterday, when a car slammed into the side of mine. No bones broken except, perhaps, my pecuniary spine - AGAIN. Thanks for the cartoon image. I needed to step outside of that moment, look in and laugh! I am comforted by the fact that this, too, will teach me something useful. One day. Good stuff, DB. x
shadowplay Posted May 9, 2010 Posted May 9, 2010 Whether it is a breakup or sudden silence or a friend just disappearing, some people will say goodbye to you in your life and you won't have the luxury of knowing why or untangling those loose threads they leave behind. Sometimes the person you knew and loved for a very long time will be completely different one morning. And when they look at you and say goodbye, you won't see reflections of love in their eyes but a dull indifference. It will never make sense. It doesn't seem human and we'll never understand all the complicated emotions, chemicals, hormones and situations that all come together to turn them into a different person. We can only accept that, go through the process of grieving and eventually get back to an even keel and realize that life isn't always logical or predictable. Emotions can switch quickly and, when they do, we're never in a position to anticipate the sudden change. And somewhere, out there in that great big universe, there is a person who, like you, won't call it quits. Thanks for this, DD.
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