travelbug Posted May 8, 2010 Posted May 8, 2010 Hello people! So I've posted about my relationship before, but a few more months have gone by and I need more advice... Background in a nutshell: I was with a guy for 9 years. He left me in September of last year (8 months ago) because he "met someone." The relationship had been loosing steam for most of last year though, due largely to my own negligence. He had told me what he needed & what changes needed to be made and for whatever reasons I couldn't seem to get it together at the time. During the break up, he made a big point of wanting to stay friends, and has been in regular contact with me since last Fall. He's even said that he misses me and misses things about our relationship. However, despite several emotional outpourings on my end, doesn't seem interested in giving it another shot. Although the last time I suggested we reconcile (maybe 2 months ago or so), he was really vague and essentially said "not now, but perhaps down the road." He called about 3 weeks ago and we had a good upbeat chat (did not discuss relationship though). He was curious about what I was up to and was thinking about me. So the thing is, I really do love this man and I want to reestablish a romantic relationship with him. I have told him very articulately that this is what I want but he's just given me a vague "maybe someday" response. Because of the lack of emotional expression or attention he got from me toward the end of the relationship, I believe NC would just reinforce his beliefs that I don't care. However, telling him very clearly how I feel doesn't illicit much response from him and in a sense I just feel like I'm giving lip-service. So, I've resolved that I need to show him in actions rather than words how I feel and how much I want this to work out. If we do get back together, this seems the only logical way to go about it. My question is...how the heck do I do that? How do you show someone you care without telling them? Thanks!!
Author travelbug Posted May 9, 2010 Author Posted May 9, 2010 Addendum: Also, for the last couple months I've been trying not to contact him, just letting him initiate. In about a week it will be 1 month since we spoke and I was planning on calling or emailing/text messaging him and from that point begin increasing contact. How much contact do people think is too much contact? Would once a week be too much? Would it be better to contact him once every 2 or 3 weeks for a while and let it become more frequent? Better to call or text/email? Should I be bold and ask him what his feelings are or just pretend I'm over it and I'm okay with just being friends?
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