loneliness Posted May 8, 2010 Posted May 8, 2010 Hi everybody, I need some advice. im 19yo male who has had little-to-no experience in a relationship. im the sensitive type of guy. recently i had my first real sexual encounter with a girl, but after a week fling it ends abruptly. she tells me "id just leave you after a month" and she would prefer if we were just friends. we live in the same college. for the next few weeks i keep returning to her only to get burnt. her reasons are that she's recovering from a recent breakup and she eventually says she has feelings for a close friend - who theyve had an on/off thing for a while. ouch! im just really frustrated that when something finally good happens to me, it ends badly. I know i should move on and it's been 3 weeks now since ive told her that i cant be her friend anymore (in hopes to get over her/make her miss me), but it seems impossible for me to find someone else. a part of me hopes that things return to the way they were, and thats why i cant let go of the fantasy. i do have friends, but not any close ones since moving to the city. it seems unfair that she has a close friend she can "be with", and i have no one. i feel like the only way to truly be over her is to be with someone else - the problem is "finding someone" doesnt come naturally to me at all. i think about her way too much, and what I should of said, and how things could of turned out differently, but im just fooling myself, when the reality is she doesn't want me on that level anymore and i have no one. here i felt short changed - im just saddened that she's moved on without attachment and im left hurting and picking up the pieces. when i see her from time to time, there's these awkward stares between us which only reminds me i can never have her and yet gives me hope to be with her. very painful. ive read everywhere that i should distract myself and give myself time, its kind of easing - tho i still ruminate on the thoughts. now and again i panic that im destined to be lonely forever and that everyone else has someone - why never me? im a fairly attractive guy - tall, tanned, just unlucky in love i guess. what should i do? how do i find another? why cant i let go?
pureinheart Posted May 8, 2010 Posted May 8, 2010 One day at a time, it sounds almost like she was a drug (been there done that). You want so bad for "something" to turn out that possibly you'll miss the "right" one. Hey, just know who you are and know that you know everything will turn out to your good
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