Have you ever been drawn to someone with whom you have very little in common with?

[SadandConfusedWA]

I wonder if this is always unhealthy. I am reflecting and there are 2 guys (neither are a viable relationship option as they are both taken so I am making this thread generic).

 

Guy A: I have almost nothing in common with him. He does make me laugh and I feel drawn to him for reasons I can not explain. We like different movies, music, tv shows etc. He is more intellectual than I am. It would make sense if he was very physically attractive but he is not. He is shorter than me, somewhat overweight and not my type at all. Conversation with him is often stileted (although I am nervous around him so that could be why). If he were single and we got together I can see us running out of things to talk about.

 

Guy B: Have loads in common. We like same things and same people. We have similar sense of humor. Conversation is always flowing and natural.

We are equally intellectual. He is also better looking and fitter than guy A.

 

From what I know, they are both nice and kind people (not obvious a-holes, arrogant bad boys or cheaters)

 

I desire guy A about million times more and I can't logically explain it. Wanting what I can't have is not an issue as I can't have either of them.

If they were both single, my heart would want guy A over B. Is this unhealthy? Is my mind somehow self-sabotaging and making sure I only want men I can't have a LTR with? I am curious about your opinions.

[Rorschach]

Opposites attract because when we're younger things that are different than us we find interesting. You often see two people who have nothing in common hooking up because they're more interesting to each other. Somebody who might show you something new or be different from what you've had before. But those relationships rarely work out because as we get older we tire of those differences and just want somebody who is the same as it causes less conflicts.

 

NOTE: I'm 22 so this is just what I've heard not what I've experienced,

[Lizzie60]

Yes this happened to me last summer.. the condo guy.. we had nothing in common except the 'lust'... it's all about the lust. IMO

[LucreziaBorgia]

Perhaps you are one of the percentage of women who have the gene that makes it so they can sense pheromones? I'm one of them, and have found myself drawn to men with whom I had nothing in common with outside of the fact that when I got close enough to them they smelled 'good' to me and I found myself attracted (and often had sex with).

[spookie]

I'm with LB, it's probably pheremonal. I know what you're talking about. Some guys make me lightheaded with lust when I get near them and it's not because of anything we have in common that makes the conversation interesting.

[Feelin Frisky]

It can be a wonderful thing. I'm a Trekkie and I remember a great quote from an original Star Trek episode made by MR. Spock after having to fight over his wife under some trans-like condition. The guy who eventually took away his wife was named Stahn. Spock said "Stahn, you may find that having is not so pleasing a thing as wanting". I have found that true, I have had deep infatuations that had me love sick but I didn't act on them because they made no sense--Iowas just smitten with their image. But that feeling of anticipation of seeing one of these unrequited loves just pass by made me want to be a better man.

 

I recently was in a hospital. A women came in after me as a patient. We hit it off and I started to feel that "loving feeling". But in real life she dug everything I can;t stand--her butt was tattooed, she had two pit bulls, she had two strokes that screwed with her memory and she felt like she had to compete with me intellectually whereas I liked her so much better when she didn't. We saw each other a little after we got out of the hospital, but I hate effing dogs, tatts and competing women. I lost her number and the feelings are almost a memory now.