Author Miss-understood Posted May 8, 2010 Author Posted May 8, 2010 White Flower, Luckily, my plans for children involve adopting - later down the line. I am definitely on a roller coaster- front row seat in fact but yeah, it's the weekends, birthdays, holiday's (i can assume ) his wedding anniversary - pathetic as it is, i actually looked it up. and your right, i don't want to be 35, and more caged in. we all want to be the story that worked out - but at what cost. i really feel that finding the love of your life is worth changing the life you have grown to love. I don't know if he could ever fully get there - especially with kids. i was hoping time would answer that - but then here comes the revolving door. i am afraid that it will take me SUCH a long time to not look for him in other guys, to even want other guys. Married or Not, he would have been "the one." I guess it is what it is. Your story ( where you are today ) congrats btw, among other's shows that life can go on. I wish I was strong enough to disapear, break the cycle. but he will do something, say something, just freaking look at me - and it's like time stops. It's an addiction. I love my quotes: from an episode of Grey's Anatomy on addiction: The thing about addiction is, it never ends well. Because eventually, whatever it is that was getting us high, stops feeling good, and starts to hurt. Still, they say you don't kick the habit until you hit rock bottom. But how do you know when you are there? Because no matter how badly a thing is hurting us, sometimes, letting it go hurts even worse.
White Flower Posted May 8, 2010 Posted May 8, 2010 White Flower, Luckily, my plans for children involve adopting - later down the line. I am definitely on a roller coaster- front row seat in fact but yeah, it's the weekends, birthdays, holiday's (i can assume ) his wedding anniversary - pathetic as it is, i actually looked it up. and your right, i don't want to be 35, and more caged in. we all want to be the story that worked out - but at what cost. i really feel that finding the love of your life is worth changing the life you have grown to love. I don't know if he could ever fully get there - especially with kids. i was hoping time would answer that - but then here comes the revolving door. i am afraid that it will take me SUCH a long time to not look for him in other guys, to even want other guys. Married or Not, he would have been "the one." I guess it is what it is. Your story ( where you are today ) congrats btw, among other's shows that life can go on. I wish I was strong enough to disapear, break the cycle. but he will do something, say something, just freaking look at me - and it's like time stops. It's an addiction. I love my quotes: from an episode of Grey's Anatomy on addiction: The thing about addiction is, it never ends well. Because eventually, whatever it is that was getting us high, stops feeling good, and starts to hurt. Still, they say you don't kick the habit until you hit rock bottom. But how do you know when you are there? Because no matter how badly a thing is hurting us, sometimes, letting it go hurts even worse. Nice quote and probably the best I've heard on addiction (love addiction). You sound strong too, and that you know what you want. Sounds like your plan is to figure how to handle the moods, the disappointments, and the great joys that will come with this love. Just keep posting and reading and you'll be able to see other peoples experiences and their perspectives on those experiences and soon you'll have a better picture of how it is and how you want to mold your R. Remember, all Rs are renegotiable no matter the stage. Best, WF.
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