Just a stone's throw Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 (edited) ok Sam. All I read here is "Settle, Settle, Settle". Neither you or your husband deserve to be in a sexless marriage or one where you (as you stated) just go with the flow because it's better for your kids, family, grandkids etc. Seriously? Do you think your husband wants to settle like that? Did you do your "assignment" for his counselor? I think that is how the thread started, right? Is talking about sex between you two taboo? Has it always been? Have you ever discussed what you want and what he wants when you're having sex? Can you fathom that conversation happening at all? Okay, seriously you need to be able to talk to him about this stuff. You may need to be the one to open up and get the ball rolling and he will follow suit. Yep, he might be shocked at first that you are saying the things you are. But it will get easier, trust me on this one. For my own situation, we can just be driving in the car and I'm talking to him about sex now. Total 180. Nothing in our sex life is off limits for discussion any more. Sam, do you go over to the Sexual and Reproductive Health and Practices Forum on LS? Do you spend any time there reading about other people's questions and relating your own answers there? My suggestion if you haven't is you take some time to do so, even ask some questions about things you've wanted to know but were afraid to ask. Post a thread about your husbands lack of satmina and see what you get for answers from those who also live it or don't. That forum can do a lot to get you jazzed up inside so that you can see that you are a human being who has sexual needs and that your husband is too and there are many physical and emotional reasons behind his performance and communication style. Try talking to anonymous LS strangers about your sex issues and then maybe you'll start to feel like you can have that conversation one-to-one with H. Okay, that's what I have for this a.m. and I hope that you are able to at least give this a try. Sam, feel free to PM me also if you want to discuss the Sex Therapist issue privately. Edited May 11, 2010 by Just a stone's throw
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