kis Posted May 7, 2010 Posted May 7, 2010 MM had a talk with me yesterday and told me he is scared and don't know what to do and told me how attracted he is to me. Which I already know. We have discussed it before. Says "you just need to talk to me" I think during the conversation I missed part of the point of what all is scaring him. But after replaying it in my head He metioned several times that he is afraid that i am going to get upset if he happens to innocently have lunch with another female. he used an example of a lunch or two that was no problem to me what so ever. But i know what he is really thinking about the time I seen him out to lunch with this women that did cause me worry. And in fact i freaked out a little and refused to answer his Email all weekend until finally telling him how i felt. This happened over a year ago. So what i am wondering is he worried because he really thinks i was being unreasonable or........................ he really is having an affiar with her and is afraid that there is going to be big trouble if we take it to the physical level and then I found out. He kept saying " I never want to hurt you and I never want to affend you. He has also often said When talking about why we havent went further " I never want you to end up hating me".
jthorne Posted May 7, 2010 Posted May 7, 2010 He kept saying " I never want to hurt you and I never want to affend you. He has also often said When talking about why we havent went further " I never want you to end up hating me".You should take him at face value. He's telling you exactly what's going to happen if you have a PA. He's letting you know, so that when you do get hurt, he can say, "I told you so, I told you what you were getting in to."
Heather1 Posted May 7, 2010 Posted May 7, 2010 It's his disclosure statement.....he's telling you the "truth.". Seeing him with ow, being with him is going to hurt & he doesn't want to be responsible. He's basically setting you up & telling you to have no feelings. Walk away.
Author kis Posted May 7, 2010 Author Posted May 7, 2010 You should take him at face value. He's telling you exactly what's going to happen if you have a PA. He's letting you know, so that when you do get hurt, he can say, "I told you so, I told you what you were getting in to." It doesnt have to be a PA for these things to hurt. We are already in a EA for several years.
jthorne Posted May 7, 2010 Posted May 7, 2010 It doesnt have to be a PA for these things to hurt. We are already in a EA for several years.Even more reason to take his words at face value.
whichwayisup Posted May 7, 2010 Posted May 7, 2010 And what about your husband? Your marriage? How is letting yourself become too emotionally attached and involved with the MM helping things there? It wasn't long ago you were posting that your H was angry at you. Don't you think he's figured out that something isn't "right" at home, and figures something is going on behind his back?
jthorne Posted May 7, 2010 Posted May 7, 2010 Oh wow. I didn't know you are married. Even more reason to stay away from that guy.
Author kis Posted May 7, 2010 Author Posted May 7, 2010 And what about your husband? Your marriage? How is letting yourself become too emotionally attached and involved with the MM helping things there? It wasn't long ago you were posting that your H was angry at you. Don't you think he's figured out that something isn't "right" at home, and figures something is going on behind his back? No. As I explained on the other thead. He has been that way long before I started talking to MM. It gets better than worse. He just gets mad really easy.
whichwayisup Posted May 7, 2010 Posted May 7, 2010 Two wrongs don't make a right. I know you feel justified in cheating on your H because of his previous affair(s) but you chose to forgive him and stay. You know pain, the feeling of betrayal, so why do that to your H. Payback? Or do you truly not care and have emotionally detached from him? If so, then divorce him so you both can move on with your lives.
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