karma84 Posted May 7, 2010 Posted May 7, 2010 (edited) Okay. I guess this is a little paranoid on my part at this point in our relationship, especially since, I myself am actually bisexual.... problem is that all of my past "somewhat serious" relationships with women (i'm female btw) have been with bonafide lesbians. I'm now involved with someone like myself, who is bi. I often claim to be lesbian because I prefer women, but truth is I still find a few men attractive. She is more bi than I am, however. I'd say I'm probably 80-20 and she's 50-50. There are a lot of other issues that resonate in our relationship right now besides orientation, but for some reason, this is the biggest one for me today, lol. To put in bluntly, I'm worried that I'm going to get invested in someone, who prefers men; that she is using me for the emotional support that she needs in a relationship now, but ultimately, will want to find something *ahem* 'else' on the other side. She has had a lot of sexual encounters with women (so have I) in the past - that have been strictly for the sex/conquest, but now wants to "take things slow" with me. Fyi, we have NOT had sex yet.... went on a date 4 months ago... we thought we weren't compatible.. maintained a "friendship".. & I guess fell for each other afterwards... long story short. She has made it clear that it's not about sex w/me. I tugged on her belt the other day, just messing around... and she said just because we're laying in bed together doesn't mean we're having sex. She mentioned that I should take that as a positive sign as she's not just trying to get some. We're going on a cruise in a month and she has repeated that she's doesn't want to go just to get laid... those are not her motives or whatever... She has also "annoyingly" repeated that she feels asexual at this point... says the act of sex is "overrated" and blablabla.... but has mentioned us doing it in the future. I'm fine with waiting awhile. I like her. It's not all about jumping bones to me. The problem is that I don't know if she is sexually attracted to me - or women at all for that matter, or if it is just a "woohooo... fun experience". In the beginning of our weird relationship/friendship she made moves/passes, but now it feels like we're in high school again - in the holding hands courting stages. Is she just nervous, or scared to do it too soon & have it not be as meaningful? Is she really "straight" and doesn't want to be disappointed? Maybe it's because she's apprehensive that we'll both have issues in the bedroom (as we've both declared that we like to be "tops" or dominant with women - sort of why I think things didn't work in the beginning on our first date).... I'm confused.... every other girl I've been with has jumped at the chance of having sex with me.... (not being an egoist, just saying).. Edited May 7, 2010 by karma84
Frontliner Posted May 7, 2010 Posted May 7, 2010 She sounds messed up. Find a proper lesbian. Not some wannabe.
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