secretlady76 Posted May 7, 2010 Posted May 7, 2010 In my journey of NC I feel I have been doing ok. Every day it gets better and I am getting stronger. It's been around a month. HOWEVER, last night I had a dream about him, an intense dream, a dream about conversations and, ahem, other stuff. I have woken this morning in a right state; tearful, confused, I feel terrible. I haven't felt like this since the beginning of NC. I don't think I want to have any more dreams like that. Have other people experienced these dreams and tell me, do they stop eventually?
SoxPrincess Posted May 7, 2010 Posted May 7, 2010 Yep they do As the old saying goes "time heals all wounds" & the same is true for situations like this. You've only been NC for a month so it's not unusual to still be having dreams/thoughts, etc. about xMM; in fact, it's completely normal. I know how hard it is & how much it sucks and it's even worse when it's something you have zero control over like a dream!! Even though you woke up this morning hurting & upset, if it happens again just try to focus on something positive and not let xMM creep into your mind. The sooner you can push him to the back & eventually out of your mind, the sooner your subconscious will follow. Good luck!!
pureinheart Posted May 7, 2010 Posted May 7, 2010 Hi SL, I don't remember my dreams hardly ever, but had a couple with exDM in them. They do go away
joey66 Posted May 7, 2010 Posted May 7, 2010 SL - I don't know if they go away. I do know that each day is different and the goal is to get through today. Do what you have to do to maintain NC today. Don't worry about whether or not you'll have the dreams again tomorrow or the next day or next month. Focus on today. Hope you feel better soon.
Author secretlady76 Posted May 7, 2010 Author Posted May 7, 2010 SL - I don't know if they go away. I do know that each day is different and the goal is to get through today. Do what you have to do to maintain NC today. Don't worry about whether or not you'll have the dreams again tomorrow or the next day or next month. Focus on today. Hope you feel better soon. Yep, you're right, one needs to get through today, although I have no interest in contacting MM anymore. Tell you what some of those posts written yesterday were a little harsh but they didn't half kick me up the arse, you know into accepting he does not want it to continue, oh and also me being so selfish as to persuing him. I know the posters were talking about you, but they may as well been talking about me! I seem to have a problem getting past my own wants and needs. I need to start thinking about other people. It's a harsh one to deal with!!!
Just a stone's throw Posted May 7, 2010 Posted May 7, 2010 Yep, you're right, one needs to get through today, although I have no interest in contacting MM anymore. Tell you what some of those posts written yesterday were a little harsh but they didn't half kick me up the arse, you know into accepting he does not want it to continue, oh and also me being so selfish as to persuing him. I know the posters were talking about you, but they may as well been talking about me! I seem to have a problem getting past my own wants and needs. I need to start thinking about other people. It's a harsh one to deal with!!! SL - I think the whole idea of me being selfish in pursuing him for my own wants/needs is what got me over the hump too. As long as I think about it that way, I feel better about things so have been able to move on (2.5 weeks NC and going strong). I'm not doing anything to make his life better or change him to spare him from himself and his miserable life. It was all for me. So now I am doing NC for me. As for dreams, I didn't really dream about him while I was in the A. I have since the A ended which was weird. Haven't for a couple weeks though which is good. JAST
jj33 Posted May 8, 2010 Posted May 8, 2010 I still have the dreams from time to time. Each time I wake up believing that he has left and we are together and within about 30 seconds of waking up realize it was a dram. Its disorienting and annoying but it happens. The dreams stopped for a long time and suddenly they are back again. Its just your subconscious processing everything. Look at it as a good thing (if possible). Your mind is processing everything.
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