18inlove Posted May 7, 2010 Posted May 7, 2010 Please give me advice and warnings, your own stories of cohabitating ect on living with your signifigant other when your my age 19 now he is 31. We both work fulltime..i got alot of female/male friends which he is ok with, he is a homebody and dont socialize much other than with my friends. we are sharing expenses and we only have been dating 8 months.. thanks
USMCHokie Posted May 7, 2010 Posted May 7, 2010 Why don't you reread the megathread that you created a while back where everyone gave you those "warnings and advice"...because believe me, none of it will change...and it'll save us all some time repeating what we've already told you... Here, I provided you with the link to your own thread for your convenience: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t227425/
Author 18inlove Posted May 7, 2010 Author Posted May 7, 2010 Why don't you reread the megathread that you created a while back where everyone gave you those "warnings and advice"...because believe me, none of it will change...and it'll save us all some time repeating what we've already told you... Here, I provided you with the link to your own thread for your convenience: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t227425/ yeah yeah yeah, just looking for some personal stories thats all to insprire me thanks
someotherguy Posted May 7, 2010 Posted May 7, 2010 At your age, bad news. You're a rebound, and the two of you are at totally different points in your lives. He's stringing you along for sex, so unless you want to feel used and abused at some point in the probably near future, it would be good to wise up and find someone closer to your maturity level. Stop playing house and find a boyfriend who wants to grow with you, not just use your body. In all likelihood, this guy is going to hurt you badly.
Author 18inlove Posted May 7, 2010 Author Posted May 7, 2010 At your age, bad news. You're a rebound, and the two of you are at totally different points in your lives. He's stringing you along for sex, so unless you want to feel used and abused at some point in the probably near future, it would be good to wise up and find someone closer to your maturity level. Stop playing house and find a boyfriend who wants to grow with you, not just use your body. In all likelihood, this guy is going to hurt you badly. stringing me along for sex? ugh he wants me to be his wife and have his children...how is that stringing me along and 8 month long rebound?? usingme for sex? And he is paying half the bills...i thank you for your concern, just I need other peoples expiriences as to living on your own at a young age...what it was like for them:)
CandyGirlXO Posted May 12, 2010 Posted May 12, 2010 I read the other thread and you said he was great besides his drug addiction. Are you into drugs as well? And if you're not why are you with this loser? Help me understand. If I were you I would RUN and never look back. What's in this for you?!?!?!? And ha! You're planning on having babies with a drug addict? Please tell me you are smarter than that!
Lauriebell82 Posted May 13, 2010 Posted May 13, 2010 And he is paying half the bills...i thank you for your concern, just I need other peoples expiriences as to living on your own at a young age...what it was like for them:) Nooo... You asked about people's experiences living with a MAN at a young age. So far they don't sound negative. Factor in everything you have said about your boyfriend, we are telling you the truth when we say you have the potential to get VERY hurt here.
Author 18inlove Posted May 13, 2010 Author Posted May 13, 2010 Nooo... You asked about people's experiences living with a MAN at a young age. So far they don't sound negative. Factor in everything you have said about your boyfriend, we are telling you the truth when we say you have the potential to get VERY hurt here. So whatever happened too young lasting love? Whose to say we cant make it? Whose to say we cant get married and have kids and be together forever? Why cause statistics? I would like to hear from others who have found the one at my age and are still together or ones who have done this and failed
Author 18inlove Posted May 13, 2010 Author Posted May 13, 2010 I read the other thread and you said he was great besides his drug addiction. Are you into drugs as well? And if you're not why are you with this loser? Help me understand. If I were you I would RUN and never look back. What's in this for you?!?!?!? And ha! You're planning on having babies with a drug addict? Please tell me you are smarter than that! I guess i have my own isses and I felt love from him and he has a car and a place for me to stay, we get along great, he is almost done in his drug rehab program and has 1 semester of school left, so he is making progress
Green Posted May 13, 2010 Posted May 13, 2010 I know some people who it worked out for. If I were you I would stop expecting people to agree with you and just do what you want. If you truely think this is best for you do it. be honest with yourself though.
Author 18inlove Posted May 13, 2010 Author Posted May 13, 2010 I know some people who it worked out for. If I were you I would stop expecting people to agree with you and just do what you want. If you truely think this is best for you do it. be honest with yourself though. well the sad part of it all is now my teen friends are making fun of me for having an older bf who only can afford a 500.00 month 1 bd rm apt in the "ghetto/hood" part of town. They think if he loved me he would have me a nice place ugh!
Green Posted May 13, 2010 Posted May 13, 2010 well the sad part of it all is now my teen friends are making fun of me for having an older bf who only can afford a 500.00 month 1 bd rm apt in the "ghetto/hood" part of town. They think if he loved me he would have me a nice place ugh! The women I knew was 22 and she was dating a man in his forties. He was really sucessful and rich though. They dated for like 8 years and lived togather and eventualy got married. They had true love. Your family is probably just looking out for you but hopefuly they can do that without disrespecting you. It isn't cool for your friends to make fun of who you date. Just do what is right for you, which may or may not mean dating and living with this guy.
Lauriebell82 Posted May 14, 2010 Posted May 14, 2010 So whatever happened too young lasting love? Whose to say we cant make it? Whose to say we cant get married and have kids and be together forever? Why cause statistics? I would like to hear from others who have found the one at my age and are still together or ones who have done this and failed I never said you two wouldn't make it. From what you have told us there are some risk factors for your relationship. I am not a psychic so I don't know what the future holds for you. Do you want us to tell you that the two of you will be together forever and will never have any issues? That's not realistic to say, mainly just because nobody can predict the future of a relationship. I am one those "young failed loves." It was horrible and heartbreaking. I was 20 when I moved in with my ex who I thought I was going to marry. He had tons of emotional issues, a past of being severely abused, and he was a pathological liar. I'm not saying your boyfriend is any of those things but if he is a recovering addict and addicted to methadone then you have the potential for some serious problems. I am glad that I came to my senses instead of ignoring the warning signs that were there. Now I am marrying a responsible, stable, loving man who will be a wonderful husband. So my advice to you would be to just protect yourself. Watch out for warning signs, do NOT ignore them. Could your relationship work out? Sure. Could it fail? Sure. But just watch your back.
Engadget Posted May 15, 2010 Posted May 15, 2010 Bad. Started living with my ex when I was 22, and it was almost never good. She went crazy with "freedom", started cheating and things got ugly.
Evolo Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 I haven't read your other thread so I can't comment on your situation specifically. Though from the other posters' comments it sounds like you have quite a bit to consider. In general I think that co-habitation is a really good thing, at the right time. BUT I would think very, very carefully about it when you're young. And I say that as someone who is still quite young myself. I co-habited with my (older) boyfriend when I was 19. It was a mixed experience. It was great for our relationship -- he was (is!) a great guy so it didn't end in tragedy or heartbreak or anything like that-- but in hindsight, it was probably not so good for my personal growth. You will think this is cr*p, but when you're 19 you are still very much forming your identity and all that stuff. I spent a lot of my free-time with my BF instead of developing my own interests and friends. I was reasonably happy with my relationship, but ended up feeling like I had lost my personality and didn't really have my independance. It might not sound like a big deal, but that kind of thing really drags you down after a while. There is a really good movie about a romance with an age gap called 'An Education', you might enjoy it.
Lauriebell82 Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 I know some people who it worked out for. If I were you I would stop expecting people to agree with you and just do what you want. If you truely think this is best for you do it. be honest with yourself though. Yeah, I agree with this. It really doesn't sound like you want or care to listen to us, despite your request for warning signs and personal experiences. We know you will probably stay with this guy because he can give you security (for now at least) and you love him. But PLEASE keep your eye open for trouble..there are already warning signs. Watch yourself.
turnera Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 I moved in with my husband (5 years older) when I was 20, right after breaking up with a fiance of 3 years. Married him at 21. Thought he was the perfect man, couldn't ask for more, everyone was wrong when they told me to wait, but I knew better, I was an adult...Worst mistake of my life. I NEVER had a chance to live on my own, make my own mistakes, figure out what I wanted in life, go anywhere, try anything new, date around, see what kind of guy I REALLY belonged with. And within five years, after knowing at 18, and 19, and 20, that I already knew who I was and that I would never change my mind about anything because, hey! I was an adult now - within five years I realized all of the above and knew I made a mistake, but was too guilty to end it and do what I needed to do for ME. So I made do with what I got stuck with in life...for the last 25 years. And fwiw, if he doesn't like to do anything now...just imagine how miserable you're going to be when you're 30 and in the prime of your life and want to have fun, and he's in his forties and ready to settle down into barbecue grills and mini-vans.
FitChick Posted May 21, 2010 Posted May 21, 2010 It sounds like women his own age know better and won't date him. You don't feel you deserve anyone better so you stay. Works great for him. You should be enjoying your life and dating a lot of different men so you can find out who is worthwhile and who isn't and what kind of life you really want. That is what intelligent, emotionally healthy women do. Get pregnant now, you'll just be another miserable cow on welfare whom any desirable man will avoid like the plague. If you insist on staying with this guy, tell him you don't want to get married for five years to make sure he stays clean and has a good job to support a family. I'm willing to bet that won't happen. Then don't get pregnant, and be sure to stash away extra cash for an abortion, should you need one within the next five years.
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