sigurpol Posted May 7, 2010 Posted May 7, 2010 So, long story short. Did the whole dating site thing.. again! After a fluke of a message, was talking to this girl for a few weeks. She lived sorta far, way out of town. But turned into one of those, "you should come see me!". After talking the way we did, and having a weekend off I figured, what the hell. Drove down there for weekend, everything was great. She treated me to everything, cooked me breakfast, showed me around, etc. Incredible time, and I really started to like this girl. Day I left, had the whole, "wish you could stay longer" deal. Came home, and kinda rode that wave of charged emotions for a few weeks. Felt nice, yea? Obviously, the wave wore off, and we were back to normal conversations.. but were still cute with each other. But I'm really starting to pick up on something.. every time we talk, I'm the babysitter about her bad day. Examples: I'm doomed to be single My body is ugly My ex is engaged and I'm upset I'm still hung up on MY OTHER EX WHO I WORK WITH STILL I had a bad day So-and-so said this about me, and now I feel worthless I'm STILL HUNG UP ABOUT MY EX My EX is dating another co-worker It never ends. And of course, I play the whole, "oh come on, you don't really feel that way?! You're _______!! =)" What I say hardly ever sticks. Go figure. So, just tell me this isn't worth my time. Because it's become the whole song and dance of what I go through. That supportive friend. hahaha.
electricity Posted May 7, 2010 Posted May 7, 2010 I'm still hung up on MY OTHER EX That should've been your cue to cut it loose. If she's still hung up on an ex, she's not ready to date. Sounds like she either wants a shoulder to cry on or someone to make her feel good about herself - basically, someone to use. It seems like you already recognized the warning signs for what they are, now listen to them and leave.
Author sigurpol Posted May 8, 2010 Author Posted May 8, 2010 Most definitely. Obviously, I see all the signs. But, the fog of war plays it's part. Not to sound paranoid, but, We have not spoken in about.. four days. Since then, I have seen resurfacing pictures of her and some random guy online, along with "cute" away messages. Give me a break, haha. Thanks, though. I needed it.
D-Lish Posted May 8, 2010 Posted May 8, 2010 Sounds like it's one red flag after another with this girl. I'd find it such a huge turn off to hear someone speak in such negative terms. I'd walk away after one convo like this. This little glimpse into her negativity and drama at such an early stage is indicative of much more to come. I remember being on a date with a guy while he lamented about being in love with a married woman, and I played therapist the whole date. I couldn't wait to bail- and when he called again, I never called back. Talking about other men after spending a romantic weekend together is tacky and disrespectful. Ditch her.
Author sigurpol Posted May 9, 2010 Author Posted May 9, 2010 Sounds like it's one red flag after another with this girl. I'd find it such a huge turn off to hear someone speak in such negative terms. I'd walk away after one convo like this. This little glimpse into her negativity and drama at such an early stage is indicative of much more to come. I remember being on a date with a guy while he lamented about being in love with a married woman, and I played therapist the whole date. I couldn't wait to bail- and when he called again, I never called back. Talking about other men after spending a romantic weekend together is tacky and disrespectful. Ditch her. Right on. And that date sounds disastrous, haha. Thanks boys and girls.
D-Lish Posted May 9, 2010 Posted May 9, 2010 Right on. And that date sounds disastrous, haha. Thanks boys and girls. Well, he offered to pay for our 2 pints, and I didn't argue... I considered it a fee for being his therapist for an hour. It's not you, it's her- she's a little bit of crazy waiting to happen if you had gotten to know her better- all the signs are there.
Pink Cupcakes Posted May 9, 2010 Posted May 9, 2010 If I were interested in a guy, I sure wouldn't point out to him that my body was bad. just about the last thing you want to do with a new guy. Also, I agree, the excessive ex talk, if she's concerned about an ex dating a coworker, she is still hung up on the guy.
Engadget Posted May 9, 2010 Posted May 9, 2010 If I were interested in a guy, I sure wouldn't point out to him that my body was bad. just about the last thing you want to do with a new guy. Also, I agree, the excessive ex talk, if she's concerned about an ex dating a coworker, she is still hung up on the guy. A lot of women do that though. Some are fishing for compliments and some actually believe it.
D-Lish Posted May 9, 2010 Posted May 9, 2010 A lot of women do that though. Some are fishing for compliments and some actually believe it. No confident woman would EVER bring that up. Insecurity is not attractive.
Green Posted May 9, 2010 Posted May 9, 2010 So when you went and visited this girl was there any SEX or KISSING? because you really screwed up if you just treated this as a friendship and expected a romance to develop. When you visited her for the weekend you at a minimum needed to show her how you felt by KISSING her. You have a right and an obligation to help define the relationship you want with this woman. When she starts complaining about an ex to you just tell her "Don't talk to me about your ex... then say something flirty like "Talk to me about what you are wearing" ... if you are out with her tell her she talks to muc hand quiet her up by making out.
sagetalk Posted May 9, 2010 Posted May 9, 2010 You have a right and an obligation to help define the relationship you want with this woman. When she starts complaining about an ex to you just tell her "Don't talk to me about your ex... then say something flirty like "Talk to me about what you are wearing" This is gold right here, don't miss it. You would think talking with her about her problems showed that you care, but it doesn't. It shows her that she should never be physical with you (welcome to dating). It shows her she needs to go back to her jerk ex and have sex with him and then tell you about it .
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