Graywulfx Posted May 6, 2010 Posted May 6, 2010 I'll try to make this quick, though it is hard to briefly compile 2 years of information into a couple paragraphs. I met my current ex while wrapping up a relationship with my previous ex. I made some very stupid decisions initially. I had a threesome with my Exs, flew out to visit my previous Ex, and had girls spend the night at my place. I put the seed of mistrust in her mind very early. Our relationship was initially based upon lust and I used that fact to justify my actions. I know now that in no way made what I did OK. Somewhere down the line our relationship developed into more... God only knows how but we fell in love, she moved in with me, and we shared some amazing times. She brought a certain light into my life that no other woman could. She began nonchalantly bringing up topics like having a family in the future, marriage. In response I panicked, became aloof and pushed her away. My fear of commitment got the best of me. I fought for space and pushed her away. She began accusing me of cheating. I brushed her accusations off. I had learned my lesson earlier... Cheating isn't worth the pain it causes. Her now ex friends instilled even more doubt in her mind and labeled me as a player. Later I discover she began cheating, I confront her and we break up. I can understand, but cannot justify her actions. She dates the OM. Fast forward 4 months of mixed NC and LC and she calls me in tears she misses me and wants to see me. I begin testing her to figure out her motive... If it’s the sex, the beach condo, or the lifestyle I provided for her she misses then I want nothing to do with her. ...But the more I talk to her, the more I realize that her intentions are good. She doesn't want to move in... She has turned down sex because she wants to move slow, and wants my respect. She even suggests therapy. Her answers to every one of my questions are well thought out and consistent... She wants to start completely over. Is she being genuine? I know the odds are against me, but is she worth taking a chance on? I know things will never be the same, but can a new relationship be forged after the previous one has been destroyed?
Predator04 Posted May 9, 2010 Posted May 9, 2010 Well no one can truly help you. You have to make that decision yourself. I think personally that the old relationship has to be destroyed for a new one to work. Its all up to you. Do YOU want to try again? If you answer is yes then go for it. if no then don't. I mean its simple as that. Best of luck!
Author Graywulfx Posted May 10, 2010 Author Posted May 10, 2010 Haha... I didn't think about it so simply. Screw it, I'm going to give it a shot. I spent the weekend with her out of town... and it went extremely well. Can anyone point me toward some do's and don'ts for second chance relationships?
Tim The Enchanter Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 Haha... I didn't think about it so simply. Screw it, I'm going to give it a shot. I spent the weekend with her out of town... and it went extremely well. Can anyone point me toward some do's and don'ts for second chance relationships? Well you've already mentioned how you pushed her away when she started talking about marriage, and that her infidelity started soon after that. If you still aren't prepared to even contemplate a greater commitment to this woman, there's every chance your relationship could fail again. The bottom line is that we can try and give you advice, but only you know this woman personally. If your gut instinct is that she's being genuine, then it's up to you to go with that instinct. Good luck. I wish you well.
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