Little Dilemma

[Hazyhead]

A couple of weeks ago (maybe not even that), I posted that someone was repeatedly logging into an email account xMM and I shared that had a lot of personal info on it (have since deleted any of mine that I could). It worried me because I didn't recognise the IP information. Now, I figure that since it's located in the place that he said he wanted to move to that it must be him - not a random stranger getting cheap thrills! Anyway, he still is logging in (I was curious so I went back too), and I don't understand why. I don't want to break NC to ask but have a feeling it might be because I didn't say goodbye so maybe he expects it? Or, could it be that he worries if I will do anything? I just really don't get why he would want to. Has anybody experienced something similar or have any idea of his reasoning?

 

Please know that this is not me hoping he's checking because he wants to start it up again because I actually fear that. I just want to move on but this is holding me still a little.

[donnamaybe]

I just want to move on but this is holding me still a little.

 

Then the best advice I can think of is to stop looking at the e-mail account to view the activity.

[Hazyhead]

Then the best advice I can think of is to stop looking at the e-mail account to view the activity.

 

Thanks Donna; I know I need to do this. Guess I just needed telling - I have this last little bit of curiosity and I do just want to shake it. I don't know why it bothers me!

[donnamaybe]

Thanks Donna; I know I need to do this. Guess I just needed telling - I have this last little bit of curiosity and I do just want to shake it. I don't know why it bothers me!

 

Well, with what you probably went through with all that there's still a piece of you that wishes things had turned out differently. That's natural. But you know it won't help YOU to keep dwelling on it hon. Do the best thing for you. It's hard, but try to let go. There is a brighter day waiting for you that includes absolutely NO thoughts of HIM.

[pureinheart]

Hi Hazy,

 

I've had several bf's that kept tabs in weird ways...I had one keep track via birthdate, another I saw following me to work a couple of times and another (exDM) used numerous tracking devices/techniques.

 

As to the reason...he might feel your his "territory" and "marked" you ...sounds gross, but that's how they are...

[jwi71]

A couple of weeks ago (maybe not even that), I posted that someone was repeatedly logging into an email account xMM and I shared that had a lot of personal info on it (have since deleted any of mine that I could). It worried me because I didn't recognise the IP information. Now, I figure that since it's located in the place that he said he wanted to move to that it must be him - not a random stranger getting cheap thrills! Anyway, he still is logging in (I was curious so I went back too), and I don't understand why. I don't want to break NC to ask but have a feeling it might be because I didn't say goodbye so maybe he expects it? Or, could it be that he worries if I will do anything? I just really don't get why he would want to. Has anybody experienced something similar or have any idea of his reasoning?

 

Please know that this is not me hoping he's checking because he wants to start it up again because I actually fear that. I just want to move on but this is holding me still a little.

 

Let it go HH.

 

Lets see...first you logged in to reminisce.

Then you saw a "weird IP" and freaked - I remember the thread.

Then you put on your PI hat and tracked the IP - all the while in a panic.

Then you realized who it was and suffered instant setback (on top of the setback of looking at old emails).

 

Let it go HH.

 

Why is he checking? WHO EFF'N CARES.

 

Here's what you do.

Log into that account.

Select all emails.

DELETE.

Then CLOSE THE ACCOUNT.

 

I promise you do this, you'll feel a weight off your shoulders.

[Hazyhead]

Well, with what you probably went through with all that there's still a piece of you that wishes things had turned out differently. That's natural. But you know it won't help YOU to keep dwelling on it hon. Do the best thing for you. It's hard, but try to let go. There is a brighter day waiting for you that includes absolutely NO thoughts of HIM.

 

Originally I did wish things had turned out differently. Maybe I still do a little... I don't really think in that way now. It is what it is and the damage is done; nothing could repair it. I'm trying not to dwell Donna - it just threw me through a loop. Thanks though, I am getting to that day, honest!

 

Hi Hazy,

 

I've had several bf's that kept tabs in weird ways...I had one keep track via birthdate, another I saw following me to work a couple of times and another (exDM) used numerous tracking devices/techniques.

 

As to the reason...he might feel your his "territory" and "marked" you ...sounds gross, but that's how they are...

 

This is what I don't get though... he's been doing it for a while it seems, but now I guess I am too...

 

Let it go HH.

 

Lets see...first you logged in to reminisce.

Then you saw a "weird IP" and freaked - I remember the thread.

Then you put on your PI hat and tracked the IP - all the while in a panic.

Then you realized who it was and suffered instant setback (on top of the setback of looking at old emails).

 

Let it go HH.

 

Why is he checking? WHO EFF'N CARES.

 

Here's what you do.

Log into that account.

Select all emails.

DELETE.

Then CLOSE THE ACCOUNT.

 

I promise you do this, you'll feel a weight off your shoulders.

 

It was a setback JW. I didn't read the emails though; just deleted what I could without looking. It wouldn't let me delete the account because he opened it and try as I might I couldn't break the final security questions. I changed the password somehow and kept it for a couple of days then I thought that this probably makes me look like I'm holding on (over-analysing) so this is when I deleted stuff and set it back. You're right though, I need to not care whether he's checking or not, or what his reasons might be. It's just that I don't get it... his decision and all...

[jwi71]

It was a setback JW. I didn't read the emails though; just deleted what I could without looking. It wouldn't let me delete the account because he opened it and try as I might I couldn't break the final security questions. I changed the password somehow and kept it for a couple of days then I thought that this probably makes me look like I'm holding on (over-analysing) so this is when I deleted stuff and set it back. You're right though, I need to not care whether he's checking or not, or what his reasons might be. It's just that I don't get it... his decision and all...

 

Ok. I can tell you aren't going to let that go - his decision.

 

So, lets think about it.

 

1) Reminiscing. He wants to remember the A and all the "good" times for him. A virtual ego boost.

2) Hoping for a message to rekindle the A.

3) Thinking of writing one to rekindle the A.

4) Doing the same thing you are - freaking out over who logged in...

 

Others?

 

And what do they CHANGE?

(nothing)

[Hazyhead]

Ok. I can tell you aren't going to let that go - his decision.

 

So, lets think about it.

 

1) Reminiscing. He wants to remember the A and all the "good" times for him. A virtual ego boost.

2) Hoping for a message to rekindle the A.

3) Thinking of writing one to rekindle the A.

4) Doing the same thing you are - freaking out over who logged in...

 

Others?

 

And what do they CHANGE?

(nothing)

 

Thanks JW, you just hammered it into me. I didn't like reading any of those! I guess that's my answer.

[LostMe]

He wants to keep hold of you somehow, this way is 'safe' until he's ready to let you go for good. A transitional thing. Kind of why I keep coming back here, actually. I worry about that a bit.

[jthorne]

You didn't read the emails. How do you know he didn't order something from Nordstroms and didn't want a bunch of spam. Point is, you don't know. And won't.

 

And it doesn't matter.

[Hazyhead]

You didn't read the emails. How do you know he didn't order something from Nordstroms and didn't want a bunch of spam. Point is, you don't know. And won't.

 

And it doesn't matter.

 

I saw the emails' contents - just didn't read the words; I've seen the activity, BUT you are right, I won't know because I can't read his mind and I ain't gonna break NC. And as you say, and I know beneath this, it doesn't matter; it makes no difference and I'm happy with that. I just need to walk off the curiosity.