jthorne Posted May 17, 2010 Posted May 17, 2010 And I won't even go into who's better looking between me and his wife, that would be awful... Just looking for opinions.Is this some passive aggressive way of saying you are better looking than his wife? Isn't your post really asking if you have the advantage sexually because you think you are better looking?
Mombot Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 It's the age old question- what've they got that I don't?
linwood Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 I think it has more to do with availability and willingness than looks.
OWoman Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 I think it has more to do with availability and willingness than looks. You're right. If the BW is emotionally unavailable, sexually frigid and completely unwilling to consider anybody but herself, then the MM is likely to respond to a warm, human presence when one crosses his horizon.
Mombot Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 Great answer- I do not think the OW always has to be reminding him of fantasyland. She may have the caring ear that the wife doesn't exhibit.
torranceshipman Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 I think with most MM it is usually sexual variety, and a return, a little bit, to the old bachelor days - but of course done secretly as he doesn't want to lose his married status. I think it is less about the woman and more about feeling desirable again, a mid life crisis, propping up an ego, having sexual variety...the fact that a woman is willing, outside of his M, to have sex regularly with him AND let him keep it a secret is probably the deciding factor for him. Remember that in his mind it is probably not a relationship, per se, just a chance to indulge regularly!-so it would be a mistake to think that he is implementing the same criteria for an OW that he would for a girlfriend/wife/partner.
White Flower Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 I think with most MM it is usually sexual variety, and a return, a little bit, to the old bachelor days - but of course done secretly as he doesn't want to lose his married status. I think it is less about the woman and more about feeling desirable again, a mid life crisis, propping up an ego, having sexual variety...the fact that a woman is willing, outside of his M, to have sex regularly with him AND let him keep it a secret is probably the deciding factor for him. Remember that in his mind it is probably not a relationship, per se, just a chance to indulge regularly!-so it would be a mistake to think that he is implementing the same criteria for an OW that he would for a girlfriend/wife/partner. For argument's sake, why wouldn't sexual regularity fall under MM's criteria in choosing a girlfriend/wife/partner?
torranceshipman Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 Hey white flower, it would - he has a legal contract to show that (in the W's case anyway). But if he wants to also have some new experiences on the side, for ego/need to feel like a desirable bachelor/etc related reasons, he'd love that to become a regular fix. In fact, while a one off experience might make him feel good, a certain type of man would LOVE that experience to happen regularly with a woman that thinks he is SO incredible that she will be his little secret, just so she gets to experience a little bit of him...I bet that is the hugest ego boost to a certain type of man! I suppose that would explain a lot of the lying too - I bet some men get addicted to that type of attention and would spin any lines to keep it...
OWoman Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 I think with most MM it is usually sexual variety, and a return, a little bit, to the old bachelor days This gave me pause for thought. My H did not have any "bachelor days" - he went to school in a tiny rural village where religion ruled and girls did not have hormones, had a weekend job in a local shop where the older women staff had their wicked way with him every lunchtime, and was then seduced by the older (then-M) woman who went on to become his 1st W. The closest he came to "bachelor days" was during the year they'd split - but then, he was far too busy dealing with disturbed kids to be out living it up. I wonder if part of the attraction of the A was for him, for the very first time, to experience something akin to "bachelor days" or at least to have some more "normal" sexual experience with a woman who wasn't older than himself. I must ask him, later...
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