Heather1 Posted May 7, 2010 Posted May 7, 2010 Bravo!! Never let them see you sweat!! But I understand.... Damn that wild monkey sex!
mourningMM Posted May 7, 2010 Posted May 7, 2010 Here is a hypothetical situation. Two individuals have a history, memories shared, sensations, emotions, fantasies, hopes, fears, dreams and even some plans for the future. They are tied together by these threads of energy. But they have made a choice to recognize that reality, and other choices that they have made render any possibility of real connection, solid relationship, and healthy future impossible. The choice to behave in a healthy way is undoubtably right and good. The choice to indulge in the dreams of a different reality feels right and good. But the consequences of indulgence can be significant, painful, and unhealthy. The honesty of a relationship is the measure of it's health. Imagine that instead of teasing you, she honestly misses you and what you had together. That your reasonable and healthy decision to separate and go NC is as difficult for her as it is for you. (If it helps, imagine that it is actually harder for her than it is for you! ) The one reason that you shouldn't reach out to her...your reason needs to honor what is healthy and happy and uplifting for your heart, mind, and soul. Find that reason, if it is as simple as looking yourself in the mirror with pride, and hold to it tightly. But be honest with yourself. And if you still feel a tie, acknowledge that, and then make a choice for yourself in a way that you can live with the consequences. But be very very sure that your choice does not cause harm or pain; because Karma is a Bitch.
bentnotbroken Posted May 7, 2010 Posted May 7, 2010 Yeah, I get it. It's wrong, I'm a bad person, etc. No need to point it out any further. I didn't say anything about you being a bad person. I don't know you from Adam. But I do know you are making some jacked up choices and even pointing it out doesn't seem to sink in. It isn't all about you. More than you will be affected by your actions. Take your head out of what "you" want and what "you" think is right for everyone else and actually think about them and their feelings for a change. Bad person.....I don't know, look in the mirror and answer that cause I got nothing on that front.
MorningCoffee Posted May 7, 2010 Posted May 7, 2010 (edited) Just want to say thanks to all who responded - supportive, critical, or otherwise. I know there is no point in sending yet another email. I know it would only make me feel like crap. (Though, not sending it makes me feel like crap, too!) I know that it would only make her feel better. I know it's time for me to get over it. The important thing is that I didn't send her an email. See, it's okay to not be over it, so long as I don't let her know that! So I'm going to fake it until I make it. And start fresh tomorrow. I'm not over it, but rather than being the pathetic email stalker guy, I was the pathetic posting on LS guy. (And if not for LS, I would've sent her an email, no doubt about it.) Pathetic either way, but at least she doesn't get to see that. Take that, b*tch. Joey, well said, and WELL DONE (or, more accurately, WELL NOT DONE). I wonder too if my fMW feels what I feel. And then when I really think about how it doesn't matter either way, a kind of peace comes over me. I think then I am remembering the good and the love we shared, and I choose to know she is having as tough or tougher time than I. And I am secretly glad, not because she is hurting too but because in some strange way, it wasn't all just a fantasy or a dream, and there is some validation of the real power of the connection we had. The resulting depth of the loss that we each feel, for better or not, we each have to deal with on our own. I read somewhere that C.S. Lewis wrote that there is a price we always pay for entering into a loving relationship with someone, and that is that, one way or another the relationship will come to an end, and the one left behind will be feeling and mourning the loss of the other. I feel that rule applies in full to As as well as to other, more conventional relationships. Doesn't make it easy, but hey, I guess everyone is subject to pretty much the same price of admission to love. Edited May 7, 2010 by MorningCoffee
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