give me one reason

[joey66]

Give me one reason why I shouldn't send her another email today.

 

We've been NC, or technically LC (I still see her and to maintain appearances we exchange pleasantries when amongst others), for about five weeks. The last two weeks she ignored me completely. Wouldn’t even look in my direction. Today she lingered. And she looked at me with big, sad eyes. Repeatedly. The look in her eyes said she misses us, she misses the attention.

 

I can’t help but think she wanted to talk, which we didn’t get the chance to do. (Others were around and didn’t leave in time.) You know the thing where you analyze and dissect her every move, every facial expression, etc.? What did this mean? What did that mean? That’s where I’m at this morning. I know it's crazy, but I cannot stop myself.

 

She knows how to get in touch. She has my email address and my phone number. She knows exactly where to find me. If she really wants to talk, all she has to do is ask and she knows it. I’ve made that perfectly clear. So I should just let it go. Right?

 

But I don’t want to let it go. I desperately want to send her an email telling her that I’m still crazy about her. That nothing has changed. That we are meant to be together.

[jthorne]

She knows how to contact you. If she wanted to, she would. Why can't you respect her and her boundaries instead of only thinking of yourself and what you want?

[LostMe]

joey NO! You'll hate yourself. You're doing so well! Don't undo all your hard work. Her looks are more likely 'i want you to crack first so i feel amazing and you feel like crap'. It won't change anything.

 

Write your email and post it here. Get it out of your system that way. hugs.

[Just a stone's throw]

Go back and read Morning Coffee's thread from a few days back. Read all of those reasons why NC is a good thing and what kind of crap you don't have to deal with because you've made a decision and stuck to it.

 

Stay strong, Joey.

 

I agree, write your email here and post it.

[michelle2010]

Awesome advice - writing emails I don't send is one of the best ways to get things out of my system. I learned that the hard way, but I did...

 

I feel for you, though - you have to see her! Congratulations on being so strong, if you've stuck to NC until now while continually being exposed to her. You can relive the looks if you want, enjoy the good feelings they bring (if they do - I know I get a lot of pleasure out of simply remembering my MM's every look and smile) and leave it at that.

[bentnotbroken]

One good reason....it's wrong.

[joey66]

She knows how to contact you. If she wanted to, she would. Why can't you respect her and her boundaries instead of only thinking of yourself and what you want?

 

I think I am respecting her boundaries. As I wrote, we've been NC for five weeks.

 

If she wants me to respect her boundaries, why does she continue to tease me so? She knows she drives me crazy. Maybe it's her that doesn't respect me.

 

I know that, if I didn't have LS as a release valve, I definitely would've done it. In a sense, I already did what many of you suggested. Instead of writing to her, I came here and started this thread.

 

Still hurts like hell though.

[secretlady76]

Blimey, I do wonder if we're living parallel lives, only with a slightly diffferent time zone. Your morning sounded exactly like mine...and we've been NC/LC for exactly the same amount of time too.

 

Mine went something like this. Went to the TMI place, saw him, waved and I decided that was enough, nope he came over and talked. I gave no information away, he drove off, that was it.....so I thought....I then went to do something else and then came back to my car 15 minutes later which was still parked at the TMI place. He rocked up again, muttering about forgetting something. Anyway, came over and we chatted for about 10 minutes, mostly about what he was doing and then we both left. What the difference was, was that I gave nothing away and we also didn't talk about anything 'us' and that made a big difference...and also there weren't any of those deep intense stares that we used to do....did I think about sending him an email? Hell yeah, but not as strong as before and I certainly don't want to now.

 

Look Joey, do not send an email. For about 2 seconds you'll feel better but then you'll feel like crap again, especially if she doesn't reply or she does but it is not to your liking. Keep talking to us. And when you see her next, try not to look at her, especially don't do the intense looks that people do at eachother, that's just torture.

 

And I totally understand the over-analysing everything thing, I was doing this today despite everything.

[jthorne]

I get what you're saying Joey, but contacting her is not going to alleviate that hurt. It will most likely deepen it.

 

Write out your email. Post it here if you like. Or read it ten times and delete it.

But have some self respect and don't send it.

 

Love yourself, ok??

[secretlady76]

I get what you're saying Joey, but contacting her is not going to alleviate that hurt. It will most likely deepen it.

 

Write out your email. Post it here if you like. Or read it ten times and delete it.

But have some self respect and don't send it.

 

Love yourself, ok??

 

...Yeah and if you do post it on here, you may want to leave out the bits about having monkey sex, I still haven't managed to get the image out of my head yet!

[jwi71]

Give me one reason why I shouldn't send her another email today.

 

Acually, go ahead.

Because this time it'll be different.

 

We've been NC, or technically LC (I still see her and to maintain appearances we exchange pleasantries when amongst others), for about five weeks.

You came here saying how NC isn't possible. But it is.

I know, you won't choose it. And until you do, welcome to your new "normal". That's the consequence of allowing her in your life still.

 

The last two weeks she ignored me completely. Wouldn’t even look in my direction. Today she lingered. And she looked at me with big, sad eyes. Repeatedly. The look in her eyes said she misses us, she misses the attention.

I'm sure she does.

So go ahead and write that email. I promise, within two weeks you guys can be having that wild hot sex again. If that long.

And this time it'll be different.

 

I can’t help but think she wanted to talk, which we didn’t get the chance to do. (Others were around and didn’t leave in time.) You know the thing where you analyze and dissect her every move, every facial expression, etc.? What did this mean? What did that mean? That’s where I’m at this morning. I know it's crazy, but I cannot stop myself.

Send that email and find out. I promise she'll reply. We all know she was sending you that message. And by "all know" I meant the others who didn't leave in time.

 

Because this time...it'll be different.

 

She knows how to get in touch. She has my email address and my phone number. She knows exactly where to find me. If she really wants to talk, all she has to do is ask and she knows it. I’ve made that perfectly clear. So I should just let it go. Right?

Some might say she is simply using you as an ego boost. To see how much crap she can dish out (not calling or replying) and have you still pursue her. Like a cat playing with a mouse.

 

But the only way to make sure is to call her. Email her.

I'm sure she'll respond.

And this time it'll be different.

 

But I don’t want to let it go. I desperately want to send her an email telling her that I’m still crazy about her. That nothing has changed. That we are meant to be together.

I'm sure she feels the same which is why she filed for D.

Maybe, all she needs is that one email.

Because this time it'll be different.

[donnamaybe]

One reason?

 

You'd be wasting your time.

[secretlady76]

Acually, go ahead.

Because this time it'll be different.

 

You came here saying how NC isn't possible. But it is.

I know, you won't choose it. And until you do, welcome to your new "normal". That's the consequence of allowing her in your life still.

 

I'm sure she does.

So go ahead and write that email. I promise, within two weeks you guys can be having that wild hot sex again. If that long.

And this time it'll be different.

 

Send that email and find out. I promise she'll reply. We all know she was sending you that message. And by "all know" I meant the others who didn't leave in time.

 

Because this time...it'll be different.

 

Some might say she is simply using you as an ego boost. To see how much crap she can dish out (not calling or replying) and have you still pursue her. Like a cat playing with a mouse.

 

But the only way to make sure is to call her. Email her.

I'm sure she'll respond.

And this time it'll be different.

 

I'm sure she feels the same which is why she filed for D.

Maybe, all she needs is that one email.

Because this time it'll be different.

 

That was a totally brilliant post. I certainly learnt a thing or two myself. Many thanks

[joey66]

Because this time it'll be different.

 

And this time it'll be different.

 

Because this time...it'll be different.

 

And this time it'll be different.

 

Because this time it'll be different.

 

So, what's your point exactly?

 

jwi71 - In all seriousness, thanks for that post. It's amazing how hard it is to see the f*cking obvious when you are in the middle of it. You make the obvious so clear, even I can see it.

[bananalaffytaffy]

Joey,

Aren't you married?

Perhaps you should be forwarding emails to your wife?

[whichwayisup]

Here, read this. And then decide if emailing her is worth it.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t56954/

 

I hope this thread helps you understand WHY NC is important.. For YOU!

[joey66]

One good reason....it's wrong.

 

Joey,

Aren't you married?

Perhaps you should be forwarding emails to your wife?

 

Yeah, I get it. It's wrong, I'm a bad person, etc. No need to point it out any further.

[Heather1]

rejection.....I hate that!

 

That's my one reason for ya. It's the worst feeling!

[michelle2010]

You're not a bad person... you're just in love with someone else. Why is it that judgmental people don't get that?? Yes, you can control your actions, but they don't always change your feelings.

[donnamaybe]

It really isn't healthy to encourage someone to be with a person who plays them like a fiddle.

[torranceshipman]

Give me one reason why I shouldn't send her another email today.

 

We've been NC, or technically LC (I still see her and to maintain appearances we exchange pleasantries when amongst others), for about five weeks. The last two weeks she ignored me completely. Wouldn’t even look in my direction. Today she lingered. And she looked at me with big, sad eyes. Repeatedly. The look in her eyes said she misses us, she misses the attention.

 

I can’t help but think she wanted to talk, which we didn’t get the chance to do. (Others were around and didn’t leave in time.) You know the thing where you analyze and dissect her every move, every facial expression, etc.? What did this mean? What did that mean? That’s where I’m at this morning. I know it's crazy, but I cannot stop myself.

 

She knows how to get in touch. She has my email address and my phone number. She knows exactly where to find me. If she really wants to talk, all she has to do is ask and she knows it. I’ve made that perfectly clear. So I should just let it go. Right?

 

But I don’t want to let it go. I desperately want to send her an email telling her that I’m still crazy about her. That nothing has changed. That we are meant to be together.

 

Sorry dude but it is over - she doesn't want it to go on anymore, and she ignored you for the last 2 weeks. IT IS OVER. Do not become an annoying email stalker that sends messages that you will cringe at when you think about them for the next 10 years. She doesn't want you, she wants someone else more (sorry, it hurts, but you are better than chasing after a woman that thinks you are 2nd best). She will pale in comparison to the right woman - believe me.

[Dexter Morgan]

Give me one reason why I shouldn't send her another email today.

 

Don't know if you are an OM, or a MM, but how about you give us one GOOD reason TO contact her?

[fooled once]

Give me one reason why I shouldn't send her another email today.

 

We've been NC, or technically LC (I still see her and to maintain appearances we exchange pleasantries when amongst others), for about five weeks. The last two weeks she ignored me completely. Wouldn’t even look in my direction. Today she lingered. And she looked at me with big, sad eyes. Repeatedly. The look in her eyes said she misses us, she misses the attention.

 

I can’t help but think she wanted to talk, which we didn’t get the chance to do. (Others were around and didn’t leave in time.) You know the thing where you analyze and dissect her every move, every facial expression, etc.? What did this mean? What did that mean? That’s where I’m at this morning. I know it's crazy, but I cannot stop myself.

 

She knows how to get in touch. She has my email address and my phone number. She knows exactly where to find me. If she really wants to talk, all she has to do is ask and she knows it. I’ve made that perfectly clear. So I should just let it go. Right?

 

But I don’t want to let it go. I desperately want to send her an email telling her that I’m still crazy about her. That nothing has changed. That we are meant to be together.

 

Let it go - if she wanted to get in touch with you, she would have.

[fooled once]

You're not a bad person... you're just in love with someone else. Why is it that judgmental people don't get that?? Yes, you can control your actions, but they don't always change your feelings.

 

Seriously - WHO is being judgemental? Because some of us state FACT or state the obvious?

 

Fact: It is wrong

Fact: She knows how to contact him

Fact: He's married

 

How is stating facts judging?? Or is this where the line of "everyone makes mistakes" comes out??

 

And for the record, there is not a single human being on this plant who hasn't judged someone at sometime for some reason.

[joey66]

Just want to say thanks to all who responded - supportive, critical, or otherwise. I know there is no point in sending yet another email. I know it would only make me feel like crap. (Though, not sending it makes me feel like crap, too!) I know that it would only make her feel better. I know it's time for me to get over it.

 

The important thing is that I didn't send her an email. See, it's okay to not be over it, so long as I don't let her know that! So I'm going to fake it until I make it. And start fresh tomorrow.

 

I'm not over it, but rather than being the pathetic email stalker guy, I was the pathetic posting on LS guy. (And if not for LS, I would've sent her an email, no doubt about it.) Pathetic either way, but at least she doesn't get to see that. Take that, b*tch.