TachyonGeist Posted May 6, 2010 Posted May 6, 2010 Hi all, I've made very minuscule progress since the break up. Two weeks NC, deleted and blocked her from facebook...but I still feel just as hurt, like we just split yesterday.... Anywho, back on the topic of facebook, I forgot to delete my ex's best friend Heather (doh!) so two days ago she IM's me, keep in mind I had said nothing to her, and says "she has a new bf!" and I was an idiot and responded merely asking why she was telling me this. I got the answer "you need to grow up and move on" I wish it were that easy, but don't we all? Then she proceeded to cut me down, and she even told me to try to kill myself again (yes, I tried) and make sure it works this time. I deleted and blocked her too...but I'm back to square one This hurts so much...i miss her...I'm doubting myself...I'm becoming destructive....i need help...and dont know how to ask for it... I'm lost guys and idk if I'll find myself again....
EthanH Posted May 6, 2010 Posted May 6, 2010 will try to give you a longer reply, but first I have to ask... why did you guys break up? I mean, why would the friend have such anger towards you?
Eeyore79 Posted May 6, 2010 Posted May 6, 2010 Regardless of what happened betwen you and your ex, her friend has no right to contact you and be so nasty. She must be a thoroughly unpleasant person to say something like that to another human being. Please ignore everything she said, and if you're having suicidal tendencies or suffering from depression, please get some professional help. I know it might not seem like it now, but things will get better. I don't usually talk about this, but many years ago when I was dumped by a guy who I thought was the love of my life, I took a load of pills because I genuinely didn't want to live without him. I was foolish - nobody is worth ending your life over. I eventually moved on, though I didn't think I would, and now I'm seeing someone who is so much better than that guy ever was. You have to believe me: one day you'll find something better, and you'll look back on this and it won't even bother you any more.
ALombard Posted May 6, 2010 Posted May 6, 2010 Hey Tachyon, I know exactly how bad it hurts to know that someone you love is with someone else. My gf of 5 years dumped me 2 weeks ago and started dating a guy 2 days later. Believe me when I say I KNOW the pain you're going through. Now as far as your ex's friend, I don't know anyone who can be that malicious to go and tell you to kill yourself knowing the hurt you're feeling. Was the break up caused by you cheating, hitting, or emotionally abusing her? Because if so sometimes people will feel like they need to get involved to stand up for someone they care about. Now as far as you feeling empty, missing her, feeling destructive. I too have felt the same way and honestly I still have times where I can't deal with it. But listen to me carefully, NEVER EVER think that someone is worth you taking your life. Do what I try to do each day I wake up. Tell yourself that today is a new day, the pain might still be there but take it a day at a time. You're basically trying to break a habit that you've been so used to for some time. I compare it to coming out a drug addiction. You're so used to having those feelings of happiness and joy when with her but now she's gone and you need to stop cold turkey. Depression, pain, anger, sorrow, all those feelings will follow. But then eventually you will hit acceptance.
2yearsNC Posted May 6, 2010 Posted May 6, 2010 (edited) when your down, everyone kicks you in the nuts, the only way to win is to be successfully and then she'll come back once she sees how good your doing.. eitherway, this person doesn't love or respect you. she never did. and believe me, the ex KNEW the BF imed you. She was probably in the room when she sent it. Edited May 6, 2010 by 2yearsNC
Author TachyonGeist Posted May 6, 2010 Author Posted May 6, 2010 will try to give you a longer reply, but first I have to ask... why did you guys break up? I mean, why would the friend have such anger towards you? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t228483/ here's why we broke up. Thanks for all the advice guys, I know I shouldn't listen to her, but the fact that I'm already so upset it's hard to ignore things like that.
Female Tech Posted May 6, 2010 Posted May 6, 2010 I know I shouldn't listen to her, but the fact that I'm already so upset it's hard to ignore things like that. It is very easy when feeling down to allow anyone to step on you and think they could have a point. Please keep in mind.. by listening to her you are giving her the power to destroy your self-esteem. I think we all agree she certainly is not a good person to have mouthed off to you as she did. She surely shouldn't be given the power you are giving her when you want to entertain her degradation of your character. You are already a better person than she is. Just because you are going through this grieving process, it does not make you less of a person or less worthy of love. It just means you have a heart. I hope the pain in your heart can ease. Please don't let worthless people make you want to throw away the one ultimate gift you have.. the gift of life. <hugz>
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