Jump to content

More Stripper Now vs Ex!

britintokyo

By britintokyo
in Dating

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

britintokyo Member

britintokyo

Posted
Posted

Ok I'm sure you getting bored with stripper problems but I really don't know what to do...

 

So:

- Relationship with new girl (stripper) seems to be going well. Taking it slow and could be a couple of red flags but going ok.

- Ex who has become one of my best friends, saw my car in her apartment building today and freaked out. Basically said it's out friendship or the new girl

 

The ex has an unhappy relationship basically and I think she kind of expected me always to be there for her. She's also told me she still loves me and if I'm honest she's the one that got away. There's still feelings there.

 

But it's been 2.5 years and she's not made any attempt to move out and get back with me...only words.

 

So I don't know what to do. I've pretty much lost one of my best friends for a girl that might be a huge problem case. I'm in a foreign country as well so that support is important.

 

Or I keep on hanging on being single waiting on a girl who may never move and sacrifice a small chance of a relationship working with the new girl

 

What would you do?

karma84 Member

karma84

Posted
Posted

Tell your psycho-ex unless she wants to be with you, and do more than talk about how much she still loves you, to do what she's got to do.... translation: screw off and stop being a possessive lunatic. Ex's should not have any right to lay a guilt trip on you and tell you who you can/can't be with in the present. If she was a true friend she would understand that you found someone you want to be with, and she'd let you move forward.

jthorne Established Member

jthorne

Posted
Posted

Dump them both. One is too risky and the other is too much baggage.

sally4sara Established Member

sally4sara

Posted
Posted

There are still feelings for the ex.

The ex is giving you ultimatums while unhappy in her own relationship.

 

And you only see red flags out of the stripper?

 

YOU are a red flag buddy. Your ex and the contentious nature of of your "friendship" with her is a red flag.

 

Stripper girl sounds, from your last thread about her, less like a stripper and more like a prostitute so yeah, red flag there too.

 

I'd drop the dancer/hooker.

And go NC with the ex until she moves out of her relationship and steps up to the plate for real.

Because till you do, you are nothing but a red flag for anyone you date, no matter what they do for a living.

phineas Established Member

phineas

Posted
Posted

What do you mean by taking it slow?

No sex?

Popeye_Jones Member

Popeye_Jones

Posted
Posted

Hate to say it, but you are going to get burned down the road by the stripper. Everything may seem all well and good now, but something will happen at some point. Strippers are con artists. Not just at their job, but at life. Give your ex another chance, if such a thing is possible. Leave the working girl alone.

Popeye_Jones Member

Popeye_Jones

Posted
Posted
What do you mean by taking it slow?

No sex?

 

I don't blame anybody for not jumping right into sex with a stripper.

phineas Established Member

phineas

Posted
Posted
I don't blame anybody for not jumping right into sex with a stripper.

 

Actually, both our comments just border the absurd when you think about it. LOL!

  • Author
britintokyo Member

britintokyo

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Think you are all pretty much right....

My ex has been important in my life but she's manipulative and deceptive and wants to have her cake and eat it.

Seems like I've spent more time on this forum than with the new girl such are my concerns.

I'm really happy when it's her and me late at night talking or having fun. It feels great.

Just when I think about things they start to bug me....

- Found out last night before I met her after work she called a guy while she was working that she had kissed just before she met me. My suspicion is she called him to maybe meet him instead of me but he didn't answer as he then called her back 6 times just after I met her

- The sex thing is bugging me now. Strippers are not all b&&&ches but they're not nuns either. Why is she wanting to go so slow with me. Kind of feels like she's either holding herself back or not being genuine now.

- I just feel like it's a matter of time until I catch her in a lie.

 

I guess I should dump her and probably have NC with the ex until if she ever moves her a&&. It was just so nice having someone in my life after 2.5 years of being single though.

marsle85 Established Member

marsle85

Posted
Posted
Dump them both. One is too risky and the other is too much baggage.

 

SERIOUSLY. Why don't you expect the best? Com'on!

phineas Established Member

phineas

Posted
Posted
Think you are all pretty much right....

My ex has been important in my life but she's manipulative and deceptive and wants to have her cake and eat it.

Seems like I've spent more time on this forum than with the new girl such are my concerns.

I'm really happy when it's her and me late at night talking or having fun. It feels great.

Just when I think about things they start to bug me....

- Found out last night before I met her after work she called a guy while she was working that she had kissed just before she met me. My suspicion is she called him to maybe meet him instead of me but he didn't answer as he then called her back 6 times just after I met her

- The sex thing is bugging me now. Strippers are not all b&&&ches but they're not nuns either. Why is she wanting to go so slow with me. Kind of feels like she's either holding herself back or not being genuine now.

- I just feel like it's a matter of time until I catch her in a lie.

 

I guess I should dump her and probably have NC with the ex until if she ever moves her a&&. It was just so nice having someone in my life after 2.5 years of being single though.

 

Either she doesn't want you think just because she is a stripper you will get some, or she is stringing you along while she works on another dude she will jump into the sack with ASAP.

  • Author
britintokyo Member

britintokyo

Posted
  • Author
Posted

It's all finished with both :-(

 

I was supposed to pick her up for work, she told me she was going home and I had to think if there was something to tell her tomorrow.

I asked her what, said I had no idea, then I saw her walking, she was upset and said someone had called her anonymously (i wonder who!) and had said something about me, but she wouldn't tell me what.

Then she actually ran away from me!

 

She did answer the phone later and said she didn't want to talk tonight we could tomorrow but it's over I know that.

 

So rather unfairly as I gave her the benefit of the doubt she's finishing with me without giving me a chance.

 

And as for my ex, it must have been her or one of her friends she can just totally f&&K off.

 

So that's no girlfriend and no best friend in the space of 10 days, brillant heh. Feeling totally depressed and teary now.

 

It was early days and maybe she was not a good woman but I loved the way she looked at me and held me. She couldn't fake that. It was nice....

 

One woman in 3 years...oh well only another 3 to go then....

Ellezz Member

Ellezz

Posted
Posted

sorry to hear this. Your ex really doesn't sound like a nice person though, how can you let her do this to you? She doesn't want to date you and doesn't want you to date anyone else? sounds manipulative and selfish...

IronMaiden Member

IronMaiden

Posted
Posted

Use this down time to figure out why you keep picking such dysfunctional women. What do they have in common?

  • Author
britintokyo Member

britintokyo

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Use this down time to figure out why you keep picking such dysfunctional women. What do they have in common?

 

Yeah you're probably right for some reason I keep ending up with beautiful but slightly crazy women.

1. Ex-wife - Model but nuts

2. Last serious gf - Dancer & Playboy Model - High Maintenance & Nuts

3. Short gf - Model & Hostess - OK but seemed a bit crazy

4. New gf - Stripper and showing signs of nutiness

 

Maybe it's that combo of being beautiful but underneath they have self confidence issues. I don't know need to think about it

 

Thanks

Samari Established Member

Samari

Posted
Posted

Your ex-girlfriend sounds like a real bitch.

 

So I'm guessing all of this drama is happening in Tokyo?

jthorne Established Member

jthorne

Posted
Posted
Yeah you're probably right for some reason I keep ending up with beautiful but slightly crazy women.

1. Ex-wife - Model but nuts

2. Last serious gf - Dancer & Playboy Model - High Maintenance & Nuts

3. Short gf - Model & Hostess - OK but seemed a bit crazy

4. New gf - Stripper and showing signs of nutiness

 

Maybe it's that combo of being beautiful but underneath they have self confidence issues. I don't know need to think about it

 

Thanks

All nutty women.

Sounds like you have "Damsel in Distress" Syndrome. You want to be seen as the hero.

 

Do you have some aversion to dating women who are NOT models or strippers? There are a lot of beautiful women out there that don't have the issues inherent with these professions.

  • Author
britintokyo Member

britintokyo

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Yeah I do think I have damsel in distress syndrome, you're right about that...need to stop it!

 

No to be honest I haven't gone out my way to picks models or strippers, none were a conscious choice at all. All were by accident rather than intentional. They are just women that have been interested in me as well. I don't know why I attract them! Just a regular guy!

 

Yes this is all kicking off in Tokyo..never a dull moment, 24 hour city and drama!

 

I talked to the ex today and we agreed to remain friends but have a break from each other, which we need. She's been very manipulative at times but generally is not a bad person. She just puts herself first and ensures her own survival and happiness. Hell maybe she is bad, I don't know but lets say she's had good moments and we've had good history but I can't put my life on hold for a woman who won't leave her boyfriend and if she is close to me that's what has and will continue to happen.

Fouts Established Member

Fouts

Posted
Posted
Sounds like you have "Damsel in Distress" Syndrome. You want to be seen as the hero.

 

It's called the White Knight syndrome. It's extremely common in the dancer/escorting business. Lots of well intentioned chaps looking to be the one to "take them away".

IronMaiden Member

IronMaiden

Posted
Posted

You may think that your choices are accidental, but there have been too many of them to be 'chance and chance alone'!:laugh: Something about them feels familiar, and 'like home' to you. Something 'clicks' as 'right to you.

 

Was your mom like this? Beautiful but high maintenance? Did she expect you, her child, to 'save' her in some way? When we keep repeating relationship mistakes, the root is in the family of origin.

D-Lish Established Member

D-Lish

Posted
Posted
Ok I'm sure you getting bored with stripper problems but I really don't know what to do...

 

So:

- Relationship with new girl (stripper) seems to be going well. Taking it slow and could be a couple of red flags but going ok.

 

Your biggest mistake is thinking that you have a "relationship" with a stripper.

  • 1 month later...
batinhell66 Member

batinhell66

Posted
Posted (edited)

I'm sorry that you do end up with these women.

 

However, I think that they may all have some key characteristic that you like. My friend loves dramatic women. Bitchy, aggressive and powerful women turn him on, so he dates them. Incidentally, I met him at the strip club because he was pursuing my friend.

 

It didn't work out, because she was emotionally draining and he was a passive aggressive guy. Not all self-labeled "nice guys" are actually nice. You can't assume that all men who date strippers are "knights in shining armor" type men, because they're not. Everyone, I'm sorry to sound so pessimistic, has faults.

 

I get it, OP. I just honestly think that these women might have something you really like: aggressive attitude, self-confidence, etc. Maybe you like chasing hot and cold women. Whatever it is, only you know. Maybe taking some time off and thinking about the similarities in these women (besides their beauty) that turned you on can help see where you're also going wrong.

 

I would also suggest that you might be sexually attracted to exhibitionists, maybe having some voyeuristic tendencies, but you've also dated models and hostesses. I suggest that only because I've dated a guy who completely despised me dancing but loved the idea of it in the bedroom. I let him check everything, gave him the passwords to all my accounts (fb, cell phone, etc), he had the choice to randomly show up at my work, and when it got too much for him, I quit. However, prostitution was never the answer with me personally, and I have no idea how to deal with that issue.

 

Maybe next time you date a stripper (if you do, I do warn you, the jealousy at times is hard to deal with) you can find one with a genuine personality without the drama. I know a lot of women with terrific relationships that dance, or did dance, but it really depends on the woman. Choose wisely next time and you should be fine.

 

Also, not to be rude, but maybe how you've handled these women in the past could also be remedied. Maybe, like my aforementioned friend, you passive-aggressively responded in other ways to "punish" bad behavior, which only further elevates the situation because people catch on quickly to that sort of "punishment".

Edited by batinhell66
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...