JamesDean5398 Posted May 6, 2010 Posted May 6, 2010 ok. i was dating a lady who cheated on me. I just want to completely ignore and not be her friend anymore. however, we do have the same circle of friends. How would my ex feel if I completely ignored her. Not that it matters anymore to me but I don't want to talk to her even when we would have to be at the same party with common friends. I mean it hurt to find this out when she cheated on me and this is somebody who i don't even want to be friends with. I have no idea why people cheat on each other. thanks for any input.
Romance Posted May 6, 2010 Posted May 6, 2010 She is a cheater, who cares about her feelings? Clearly she didn't care about yours.
JustJoe Posted May 6, 2010 Posted May 6, 2010 Just tell her what you've said here. That you want nothing to do with her, and for her to ignore you as you will ignore her.
Author JamesDean5398 Posted May 6, 2010 Author Posted May 6, 2010 thanks for the input. I just don't want her to know that I am completely ignoring her, sure I will say a hi only to keep the peace among friends, but it is just the idea that she thought she could get away with it, and how she thought i was an "easy" guy for her. This is more of a game for her. But, i tell you she does give a good sob story that gets people's attention. Somehow I just want her to know that she did wrong without talking about it, and you know that she doesn't even know I know, but I have friends telling me this is true what she did.
2sunny Posted May 6, 2010 Posted May 6, 2010 i'd be honest and tell her you know. also tell her you aren't willing to tolerate her bad behavior and pretend like you're ok with it. allow her to understand that you won't pretend with your friends either. to pretend is reinforcing her lie. don't do that. call a spade a spade... show that you deserve decency by standing up for yourself and being honest.
Author JamesDean5398 Posted May 6, 2010 Author Posted May 6, 2010 good point, but she is not a honest person herself. I don't want to change her ways. It is not my job. i just wanted to offer my solution to my problem and hopefully get people to tell me i am wrong or right, and even your response is what i like to hear. i do deserve decency but I don't want it from her. I just need to respect myself more and gradually, and lick my wounds and move on. i just need to cope with this.
2sunny Posted May 6, 2010 Posted May 6, 2010 good point, but she is not a honest person herself. I don't want to change her ways. It is not my job. i just wanted to offer my solution to my problem and hopefully get people to tell me i am wrong or right, and even your response is what i like to hear. i do deserve decency but I don't want it from her. I just need to respect myself more and gradually, and lick my wounds and move on. i just need to cope with this. i didn't ask you to change HER behavior. i asked you to NOT reward bad behavior. stick with being honest - you will never go wrong. this includes pretending. if you pretend like it never happened or like you are ok with it - you reinforce her bad behavior, and you are living the lie. you essentially go along with her lie if you don't speak your truth.
Author JamesDean5398 Posted May 6, 2010 Author Posted May 6, 2010 I ain't in the business of rewarding her for her behavior. if I was rewarding her, she shouldn't accept my reward. That would be pretty low of her. Honesty doesn't need to defended. It defends itself. The best honesty is silence. since is honesty. I am not going along with her.
JustJoe Posted May 6, 2010 Posted May 6, 2010 Dude, if you are over her, what difference does it make? I'm sure that she knows what she did was wrong. Bu you won't solve anything by doing this passive-agressive sh*t.
Philetus Posted May 6, 2010 Posted May 6, 2010 'Living well is the best revenge". Don't ignore her. When you see her, smile, be polite, respond when she talks to you but don't initiate conversation with her or go out of your way to see her. Show her that you are over her and what she did had no effect on you, no ability to hurt you. What you're showing her is that her infidelity didn't bother you because she has NO POWER over you. You have power over her and it will at best confuse her, at worse drive her nuts. If you can do it, it's very powerful and will make you feel great. Don't let her get under your skin. Ignoring her, shunning her shows her that you CARE and even though you do, don't let her see it.
Author JamesDean5398 Posted May 9, 2010 Author Posted May 9, 2010 thanks everybody for replying. i took your words philetus. Those were good advice. She senses that I am over it and I am polite to her. I sense that she wants to chat with me again as if she can see me with a renewed sense of confidence.
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