blackwidowspider Posted January 22, 2004 Posted January 22, 2004 OKay...i dont know if you define this as a long distant relationship...well anywhoz so my boyfriend of 5 months goes to college while i'm still a junior in high school...i only see him every once in a while...like if he comes back for a weekend its either 4 hours or so...but we talk everyday..and it seems to be working out! it sux to be far away form him most of the time but i think we are strong enough =) i give all my good luck to other people who might be in teh same situation ^_^ love is not about the distant!
chiclet Posted January 25, 2004 Posted January 25, 2004 Hey! How do you do it? How do you keep it fresh? How do you not get insecure?
Walker Posted January 27, 2004 Posted January 27, 2004 Good Question, Let me know. Its only been 2mo and im a wreck.
dyermaker Posted January 27, 2004 Posted January 27, 2004 Hey! Hi there. How do you do it? We love each other. How do you keep it fresh? We take reality for what it is. How do you not get insecure? We trust each other. If it were any other way, we wouldn't bother.
Walker Posted January 27, 2004 Posted January 27, 2004 Ya mostly that works but communication is the key. Somehow my girlfriend doesnt understand how important it is. SO I dont see my LDR lasting to bad I thought she was the one after 2yrs.
reasontosigh Posted January 27, 2004 Posted January 27, 2004 It's only been 2 months, right? It's as new a situation for her too, ya know, and is still trying to adjust. Also, she's probably taking her cues from you as far as communicating goes - in other words, if you initiate, she'll respond. A bit old-fashioned, perhaps, but there are still plenty of us around who are like that. (I'm not like that all the time - for me it depends on the situation). I can't really say for certain without knowing more of the story (If it weren't so close to my bedtime, I'd look and see if more on your particular circumstances has been posted elsewhere on here). Based on what I see in this thread, though, I wouldn't go throwing in the towel just yet.
mintjulep Posted January 27, 2004 Posted January 27, 2004 It's true, reasontosigh, the first few months are the adjustment period, and it's really weird to look back on them now (I'm in an LDR as of 8 months ago). The first few months were so full of pain and aching and longing. There was good stuff, too - or there would be no relationship to tell of today , but it was really tough for a while because we had practically lived together while he was still in school. Walker, I suggest that if you haven't already, you need to explain to your girlfriend how and why communication is important - she might not get it, and might think that you two are peachy-keen as long as nothing is being said. My best friend and her boyfriend are like that, and they've been in an LDR for 3 years now. I don't think their relationship is healthy, but that's neither here nor there, I guess, since it's for different reasons that I think their relationship suffers...They just don't communicate and it seems to work for them - sort of. They're still together after all these years, anyway. chiclet: to keep it fresh, we do little things like send each other mail (it's more romantic to me to get a letter than an email ), and call during our lunch hour just to say, "I love you." Little things like that help - just don't overuse any of them, or they can become annoyances rather than sweet gestures. We don't get insecure because we love each other and trust each other. Communication is also important here, although some couples would rather have less details than me . I trust him, but I also like to know what he's doing, and since I've met his friends and coworkers, I like to say "hi" to them, occasionally. I was terrified at first of being the "faceless" girlfriend when he went off to work at this big, important company with all these smart, interesting people, but even that fear faded quickly, because I have too much faith in him; in us. LDRs are tough, but they work well when both parties are willing.
Author blackwidowspider Posted January 27, 2004 Author Posted January 27, 2004 heehee keep it up pplz, it's worth it in the end i promise you!... Trust is a key to me....i get paranoid..a LOT.....but im finding out that its not worth worrying about.. TRUST your partner....
reasontosigh Posted January 28, 2004 Posted January 28, 2004 my first major post-high school relationship was an LDR, when I was 18. I probably got to see him more than most folks in the usual LDR, as he was a roadie for various bands for a number of years.
Walker Posted January 28, 2004 Posted January 28, 2004 I try to explain and she just gets annoyed. Its like she cares but not enough to take the extra step to say "Hey Im thinkin about u. She only move 60miles away but Its a big gap. As for a health relationship, Im know ares isnt. Dont get me wrong shes amazing I love everything about her and with that said theres always a "but" the sex is like winning the lotto. Ive took every angle and now Im to the point I just dont care enough to let it ruin it. Its hard at time going from my high school girlfriend that wanted to do it every minute we were together to the Ice block Im dating know. Maybe I was spoiled. Its always on her time / when she feels like it. Now that she moved away, the times that she comes back are the same. She just doesnt get the first sight feeling and for thoughs of u that get it u know what Im talkin about. Maybe Im selfish,Im not sure but is it worth stayin with someone that doesnt have the same affection as u. I could go on and on about this Ive been living this way for alittle over 2yrs. I guess Ill add to it if there are any replies. Thanks Walker
mintjulep Posted January 28, 2004 Posted January 28, 2004 Just curious what the "oddly enough" was referring to - I'm confused
reasontosigh Posted January 28, 2004 Posted January 28, 2004 Originally posted by mintjulep Just curious what the "oddly enough" was referring to - I'm confused Just that you didn't even know I had done the LDR thing, most likely. I'm usually confused when caffeine-deprived, and I posted that while the pot was still brewing.
mintjulep Posted January 28, 2004 Posted January 28, 2004 Oh, I just assumed that you were speaking from experience - hence my confusion
reasontosigh Posted January 28, 2004 Posted January 28, 2004 I thought I was. Now I'm really confused! *scratches head, checks coffee mug*
mintjulep Posted January 28, 2004 Posted January 28, 2004 No, no. Originally I assumed you were speaking from experience. Therefore, when the header said "oddly enough," it sounded to me as though you were making assumptions about my own LDR. That confused me because I explained it right there in the first paragraph and even agreed with you. I saw no argument on your part - I'm just saying that I thought there was some sort of hidden meaning in the subject line, lol. Sorry to everyone else for clogging this thread with this.
Asthenia spikes Posted January 31, 2004 Posted January 31, 2004 communication... my gf doesnt seems to understand as well... b4 i can only b on the phone for 10 min... and thats all but shes not happy wif that.... and now.. i can only call her wen i hav credit on my phone card... and my parent took all my money coz i spent about 4000buck on phone calls... to australia so yea... mmm n that she reckon i'm movin futher away from her... but i'm not... wat should i do? well i'm sory that i cant explain much 4 ur problem coz i'm buggin from mine as well.... well if i'm u wat i'll do is to tell her every thing, tell her how u feel... n if she doesnt like wat ur saying... keepin on tellin her until u guys come to an agreement... thats wat i could give u...
moimeme Posted January 31, 2004 Posted January 31, 2004 Not much you can do except PM, email, and/or get one heckuva part-time job to support your phone habit.
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