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someone explain why this is with girls?!

Dblock10

By Dblock10
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Dblock10 Established Member

Dblock10

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Why is it that when a girl knows there hot or physically attractive ( not like super hot but you know the deal ), they automatically assume you want them?.. ( for me yes just like most guys i may fancy you, but i still value personality, and if they dont want to meet you how will you get to know anyone to give them a chance? you might look like a model but be as boring as watching paint dry)

 

..and yet this might not even be the case for example..

 

asking a girl on my fb if she would like to meet for a drink or something, lunch etc something small, just for a bit of fun, since this place gets boring where i live, not many people to meet. yet they give you the brush off.. she is single to. She didnt say out right NO. she just said okay after i suggested it and gave her my no.

 

But I have been in the game long enough to know, you give them your number and they don't give you there's you know right away they are not going to txt you. If a girl is interested they will be like yeh here is my number to.

 

am i missing something here? since when was it like this, surely they could give you the time of day, or do you have to be brad pitt or a rich boy to even get the slightest bit of attention.

 

i'm not ugly by any means, in fact i'm tall dark and have a good body, confident and not cocky in any way. just a nice bloke (not a typical nice guy) as in i am not a push over.

 

am I missing something? clearly I am doing something very wrong.

 

some help i think would be handy

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USMCHokie Established Member

USMCHokie

Posted
Posted

I'm not quite sure I'm following your train of thought in your post...

 

First, you voice your frustration that attractive women automatically assume that every guy wants to date them...and then you go on with an example of a girl you basically ask out over Facebook...but she gives you a less than perfect response...

 

So do you want to go out with this girl or were you just asking her to hang out as friends...? If it is the latter, then why would you care if she never called you back...? If it is the former, then why would you be frustrated that attractive women assume guys want them...? Don't you want her...? And if you take this as a rejection, then what would make it different from any other rejection...?

 

Just a little confused... :confused:

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Dblock10 Established Member

Dblock10

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I'm not quite sure I'm following your train of thought in your post...

 

First, you voice your frustration that attractive women automatically assume that every guy wants to date them...and then you go on with an example of a girl you basically ask out over Facebook...but she gives you a less than perfect response...

 

you have confused me now lol. well I think she is pretty yes. and Id like to get to know her as a friend and then see how it may progress from there. I am not assuming I will even get on with this girl at all, just wanting to meet new girls and see what happens, maybe make some friends along the way. so is asking her for a coffee the same as "will you go out with me"?

surely not. :S

 

So do you want to go out with this girl or were you just asking her to hang out as friends...? If it is the latter, then why would you care if she never called you back...? If it is the former, then why would you be frustrated that attractive women assume guys want them...? Don't you want her...? And if you take this as a rejection, then what would make it different from any other rejection...?

 

 

well to start with hang out as friends! we haven't met properly and i met her in a night out once, we danced and next day i added her to fb. since then i haven't really spoke to her, so thought id see if she would like to meet.

 

yeah it frustrates me that a good looking girl wont give you the time of day. how do you combat that.

 

 

 

Just a little confused... :confused:

 

 

thanks for your reply :)

Woggle Established Member

Woggle

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Because most of the time men are drooling over them and it feeds their ego. They are taken aback when a man needs more to bbe impressed.

eric82 Established Member

eric82

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It's better that she turns you down instead of wasting your time leading you on and using you for attention and drinks/meals. Attractive females know that the only reason you would ask to get together with them is because you have at least some attraction/interest in them. You taking it personally just proves this. From the sound of things you aren't even friends with her, so your motive is clear. Who do you think you are kidding?

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Dblock10 Established Member

Dblock10

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Because most of the time men are drooling over them and it feeds their ego. They are taken aback when a man needs more to bbe impressed.

 

yeah exactly! so how do you over come this. you cant put them in there place if they are on the high horse and wont meet you.

 

you cant then ignore them and expect them to come to you, cause again they are ridin high.

 

it seems impossible

eric82 Established Member

eric82

Posted
Posted

you have confused me now lol. well I think she is pretty yes. and Id like to get to know her as a friend and then see how it may progress from there. I am not assuming I will even get on with this girl at all, just wanting to meet new girls and see what happens, maybe make some friends along the way. so is asking her for a coffee the same as "will you go out with me"?

surely not. :S

 

Asking her for coffee is the same as "will you go out with me"... you're asking her to go out with you and drink coffee.

 

well to start with hang out as friends! we haven't met properly and i met her in a night out once, we danced and next day i added her to fb. since then i haven't really spoke to her, so thought id see if she would like to meet.

That's dating, hanging out with someone to see if your personalities are compatible so you can determine if you want that person to become more than your friend. Just because you avoid calling it a date doesn't change the fact that it would be date. You're somewhat attracted to her and see potential there and you would be sharing an activity with her with the underlying purpose of exploring that possibility... it's a date.

 

yeah it frustrates me that a good looking girl wont give you the time of day. how do you combat that.

Realize that she isn't the only good looking girl out there. Look around, attractive girls are everywhere.

electricity Established Member

electricity

Posted
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Personally I'd find it very uncomfortable and strange if a guy I barely knew/only met once asked to meet for coffee. To me, that doesn't indicate he wants to be friends - that's asking me out as a prospective date. Regardless of your intentions, your actions practically screamed "will you go out with me." If you want to be friends, perhaps you should organize activities, including her and her friends. Of course, you run the risk of being "friendzoned," though I personally don't subscribe to that theory.

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Dblock10 Established Member

Dblock10

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eric

 

no im not friends with her, i am a friend of her friend. So if me asking a girl to do something means i have attraction interest in them how am I ever going to meet any of them, knowing they think so highly of themselves to even consider it.. see where im going? :S

 

ah with you now. so really you need to ask them out with other mates etc, perhaps on a night out. otherwise yeh your right it is a date. and this even though is just a drink, it is a little personal and classed as a date! oh dear

 

yeh there are other attractive girls out there, but they are all the same so i guess i go back to square one. or do what i have been doing which is to stay single and just have fun if and when it arrives

Edited by Dblock10
electricity Established Member

electricity

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Tell them they're all the same and you're totally set to never date any of them.

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Dblock10 Established Member

Dblock10

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Tell them they're all the same and you're totally set to never date any of them.

 

i wont tell them that obviously. well its been about a year so maybe your right, maybe i wont ever again.

 

i will keep doing what 95% of guys do, hook up with them and leave them. then have them tell me "IM JUST LIKE ALL THE OTHER GUYS"

marsle85 Established Member

marsle85

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You should have asked for her number. It's not her responsibility to fill in the blanks. You asked her to lunch, that's step one. You wussed out and gave her your number.

USMCHokie Established Member

USMCHokie

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As Marsle said, you should have asked for her number...but NOT via Facebook...rather the night you met her...you should have avoided Facebooking her altogether...at least this early on...as you can see, it can sometimes create a little bit of awkwardness...asking someone out via Facebook that you hardly know is a little weird...

 

Next time, go for the phone number when you meet her the first time...take this as a lesson learned...

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Dblock10 Established Member

Dblock10

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You should have asked for her number. It's not her responsibility to fill in the blanks. You asked her to lunch, that's step one. You wussed out and gave her your number.

 

I dont wuss out. i gave her my number cuss i didnt want to pressure the hell out of her lol.. was trying to be easy going with her.

 

i think rejection is funny anyway. its always good to hear new excuses. its funny how they are the same from the same sort of girls

eric82 Established Member

eric82

Posted
Posted
yeah exactly! so how do you over come this. you cant put them in there place if they are on the high horse and wont meet you.

 

you cant then ignore them and expect them to come to you, cause again they are ridin high.

 

it seems impossible

 

Stop caring so much about what a girl who you barely know thinks about you, herself, or her life. And stop victimizing yourself as rejection meaning it's about you. It's not, it's about her choices and preferences. She's entitled to want what she wants just as much as everyone. It also doesn't make her full of herself for not giving you a chance. Just because she turned you down doesn't mean she's up on a high horse, it means she's honest that she's not into you and she's not into wasting time. Think about a time when you turned a girl down. Would you really want her to 'put you in your place' for blowing off her invitation because she felt wronged in the same way that you're complaining about this situation now?

green apples Established Member

green apples

Posted
Posted
But I have been in the game long enough to know, you give them your number and they don't give you there's you know right away they are not going to txt you. If a girl is interested they will be like yeh here is my number to.

 

Not true. I've been given numbers and I've contacted the men I'm interested in. I don't necessarily return the act of numbers giving just to show I like someone.

 

Didn't know that was the norm.

USMCHokie Established Member

USMCHokie

Posted
Posted
I dont wuss out. i gave her my number cuss i didnt want to pressure the hell out of her lol.. was trying to be easy going with her.

 

But I have been in the game long enough to know, you give them your number and they don't give you there's you know right away they are not going to txt you.

 

 

Sorry, had to do it...so you admitted defeat right off the the bat...? Women like assertive men...and not asking for her number is a very passive move...asking a girl for their number isn't pressuring the hell out of her...it's asking for her number...she either says yes or no...she's probably been asked before...so it's nothing new for her...

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Dblock10 Established Member

Dblock10

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Stop caring so much about what a girl who you barely know thinks about you, herself, or her life. And stop victimizing yourself as rejection meaning it's about you. It's not, it's about her choices and preferences. She's entitled to want what she wants just as much as everyone. It also doesn't make her full of herself for not giving you a chance. Just because she turned you down doesn't mean she's up on a high horse, it means she's honest that she's not into you and she's not into wasting time. Think about a time when you turned a girl down. Would you really want her to 'put you in your place' for blowing off her invitation because she felt wronged in the same way that you're complaining about this situation now?

 

 

yeah true. but why the shear number of rejections? are all of them because of there preferences? is there something wrong with me?

 

yeh when i spoke to her on fb i did feel a bit weird doing so, in person is better. when i see her i will apologize for fb chat and see how the convo goes.

USMCHokie Established Member

USMCHokie

Posted
Posted
Not true. I've been given numbers and I've contacted the men I'm interested in. I don't necessarily return the act of numbers giving just to show I like someone.

 

Didn't know that was the norm.

 

 

Eh, if it happens enough to a guy, he'll start to believe it's the norm...at least for him...and it just furthers his 'woe is me' attitude towards dating...

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Dblock10 Established Member

Dblock10

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Sorry, had to do it...so you admitted defeat right off the the bat...? Women like assertive men...and not asking for her number is a very passive move...asking a girl for their number isn't pressuring the hell out of her...it's asking for her number...she either says yes or no...she's probably been asked before...so it's nothing new for her...

 

I didnt intentionally mean it to be said like that lol. I have no fear asking for a number, ive done it many times. I just thought id play it different and give her my number. as you say, shes probably been asked before.. so its nothing new.

 

just thought id change it up and wud be nice to hear from her. she might think about it. rather than me just txting her out of the blue

 

its worse asking for there number, txting them then never hearing back :o. cold.

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USMCHokie Established Member

USMCHokie

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Posted

just thought id change it up and wud be nice to hear from her.

 

its worse asking for there number, txting them then never hearing back.

 

I understand...but again, playing into traditional gender roles, you're the guy...she's supposed to hear from you...you don't get the "privilege" of hearing from her until later...heheh...yea, that sounds kind of silly, I know...

 

And when you get their number, how about you try calling them instead of doing all this silly texting nonsense...call...if they're not there, leave a voicemail asking that they call you back...if they don't call back, then so be it...such is life...next, please...

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Dblock10 Established Member

Dblock10

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I understand...but again, playing into traditional gender roles, you're the guy...she's supposed to hear from you...you don't get the "privilege" of hearing from her until later...heheh...yea, that sounds kind of silly, I know...

 

And when you get their number, how about you try calling them instead of doing all this silly texting nonsense...call...if they're not there, leave a voicemail asking that they call you back...if they don't call back, then so be it...such is life...next, please...

 

:) yeah with you lol. it makes sense just is a bit silly sometimes. wish it didnt have to be game playing "you don't get the "privilege" of hearing from her until later"

 

i think i am to bitter about women now ever since my ex.

 

is there anyway i can resolve my fail lol with this.

 

girls dont like to be called they always txt. i think calling is a bit strange. ive tried it before and it felt a bit awkward. i remember it, i asked what she was up to in the week and i basically got shot down, but tried it at least

Edited by Dblock10
Phantom9309 Member

Phantom9309

Posted
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I couldn't read much of the back and forth on this. So did you want to do something as friends? If so, why didn't you ask her to invite some friends as well and do something as a group? If you wanted something for the two of you, then I'd think you're trying to date her.

sagetalk Established Member

sagetalk

Posted
Posted

If you know she's single then:

 

1. send her a message.

 

2. Tell her you wanna chat if she's up for it (on FB, yahoo, skype, whatever,).

 

3. During the chat get her number. Call her and ask her out on a date. Take her out on the date. Repeat.

 

If at any point you fail, try again with another girl until you get it right :cool:.

 

The ones that say no, say no. Move on and don't let it stick. Don't let it get to you. Remember Kevin Federline has two kids, that alone tells you how dumb some girls are at picking men :lmao:.

Phantom9309 Member

Phantom9309

Posted
Posted
If you know she's single then:

 

1. send her a message.

 

2. Tell her you wanna chat if she's up for it (on FB, yahoo, skype, whatever,).

 

3. During the chat get her number. Call her and ask her out on a date. Take her out on the date. Repeat.

 

If at any point you fail, try again with another girl until you get it right :cool:.

 

The ones that say no, say no. Move on and don't let it stick. Don't let it get to you. Remember Kevin Federline has two kids, that alone tells you how dumb some girls are at picking men :lmao:.

 

I love everything you say Sagetalk

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