brown_eyes Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 I have been involved in a serious relatioship with a Muslim man for a year and a half. Everything was going great. We had planned to wed this summer and so went in January to meet his family overseas. His family seemed to be very supportive of the relationship with the exception of his parents. As a result his parents have attempted to both distroy the relationship between us as well as his self esteem regarding his accomplishments in life and job. It has put a serious strain on our relationship to the point where I have moved out of the house because he felt so much pressure from his family. The most frusterating thing is that his brother, who lived with us, is trying to meddle. His brother seemed to be fine with the relationship untill we went overseas and had told his parents some untruthful and less than supportive comments about me. My boyfriend believed that what his brother has said to his family cannot be rectified. Has anyone else had similar problems where the family was dissaproving and distroying a relationship? My boyfriend and I both feel that we have found our soulmate in one another. Is there any way to save the relationship?
TaraMaiden Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 Yes. He has to stop listening to his parents and brother, and commit to you. Because if he doesn't, it's doomed. Simple.
hoping2heal Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 I have been involved in a serious relatioship with a Muslim man for a year and a half. Everything was going great. We had planned to wed this summer and so went in January to meet his family overseas. His family seemed to be very supportive of the relationship with the exception of his parents. As a result his parents have attempted to both distroy the relationship between us as well as his self esteem regarding his accomplishments in life and job. It has put a serious strain on our relationship to the point where I have moved out of the house because he felt so much pressure from his family. The most frusterating thing is that his brother, who lived with us, is trying to meddle. His brother seemed to be fine with the relationship untill we went overseas and had told his parents some untruthful and less than supportive comments about me. My boyfriend believed that what his brother has said to his family cannot be rectified. Has anyone else had similar problems where the family was dissaproving and distroying a relationship? My boyfriend and I both feel that we have found our soulmate in one another. Is there any way to save the relationship? Yes, your boyfriend needs to take ownership for his own life. I understand the culture is different; but different doesn't make it "right". I am so saddened by how many heartbroken people and/or couples I have heard/read about and all due to family. Your family is important but there comes a point where they are not respecting you. When you are a grown adult you have a right to choose the person you wish to share your life with. For a family to step in an insist otherwise is treating their child well..like they are STILL a child. This is manipulative and selfish and while it may make them happy; their children suffer heartbreak and lonliness as a result. If this man wants to marry you he needs to do that and stand behind you 100%. He can let his family know "This is the woman I love, this is the woman I want and I'm choosing. I want you to be a part of our life, I hope you will be - but this is my decision and I'm taking ownership of that." His family may believe they only mean well but this is very hurtful to you and their own son. If he can't do that I'm afraid there's not much else you two can do in defense of your relationship.
Chrome Barracuda Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 Mayn those muslim folks take family seriously and unless your the same race, creed or religion, his family will always be at odds with you, because they are not from our current generation they are old school die hards probably. My advice unless your man is willing to forge his own path and love you and not be a muslim anymore and be a man unto himself. then it wont work. You guys will always be at odds, they will always come for your jugular. It's sad because he wants to be a muslim but he also wants to be with you, a non muslim i take it. Are you willing to convert. is he willing to stand up for himself? Is he willing to cut the damn umbilical cord and do what he needs to do as a man? He has to make the hard decisions in life, so do you.
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