Achellin Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 (edited) I have this girlfriend. We have been dating two months. I lost my virginity to her, and vise verse. Were both in college. I've known shes had some problems from the start. She was diagnosed that she was semi bipolar (something between the depressed and one of the types) but not enough to be given officially a label. She takes a lot of pills for her anxiety, to sleep as well.. Her step dad used to beat her as a child etc etc. I know not looking good already. Many days I feel great happy around here. It could be the stress, the combo of her getting told that and a few other things. Right now I don't really know. She said I love you on the second week, and more or less pressured me into saying it. I care for her a lot, but I'm months away from when I would have said it otherwise. I think love is when you think about the person you are just filled with positive feelings. Like I think of my favorite activity and I just feel more warm. It is not quit that, but I'm in a bad enough mood to write this posting so I can't judge right now. Oh and for the record, she pressured me into having sex with her. Tables turned. I don't regret it. Though it is a bit annoying as she later said she thought if she did that it would stop me from leaving her. . . Shes a great girl friend. Cute, supports me and my interests. Even plays left 4 dead with me. I just came back for her apartment. I'm not really feeling happy. I feel kinda blue. haha dammit. We are out of condoms and she lacked the ability and will to get me off. She told me she felt bad, but it's not that hard.. She kills the mood almost every time with "Is it doing anything for you. I like to get more then give." I do have a little trouble getting off with her. I don't think I should have any issue.. condoms may be the issue, idk. Last night I invited her to hooka with my computer science friends. She more or less ignored me and my new roommate kinda took all her attention. Hit a few jealousy buttons, when I know that there's no chance of anything happening there. I touch her leg, and she wouldn't respond etc. Later she said she didn't know what I wanted. It could be finials. It could be other things. At times shes great to be around, others its just depressing as shes unhappy and I can't help. She tells me almost every day I deserve someone better. . . all my girlfriends say that. That I'm the best boyfriend they had ever had. You say that and I start thinking it.. I don't plan on even considering breaking up with her until finials are over. Though after her finials her birthday is in 3 week. She tried once to get me to break up with her. to spair me dating her. She pushes me a way a lot, and she expresses she really doesn't want to. I don't know if I'm just afraid of a relationship. I may fear I can't get anyone better. (shes by far the most attractive I've dated, so far) I'm afraid I'm going to just sit home on Friday night and drink beer alone, surfing personals. I'm afraid I need to lose a lot of weight before I can get the girl I really want. (over 6ft 231, semi muscular. lost a lot, gained half back) please assume this is more negative then it should be. I don't want to miss out on something good because something bad happened to her in highschool. So I don't really know. I also don't want to be in a bad relationship because I don't think I can do better ( like my friend that I would love to date.. who has been dating a gay man for 4 years!) I don't have the experience to make a good decision. Shes expressed shes madly in love with me. That shes really attached. To make things harder. You know a few weeks ago I said if I wasn't feeling great about the relationship a week later I would leave.. then she had one really great night when she was with my oldest friend and I forgot about it. Edited May 5, 2010 by Achellin
Sivok Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 Your relationship is on the rocks, hands down. I dated a girl that gave off very similar vibes as this girl is. She is having an attraction or connection issue with you. Let me tell you one thing for sure. You guys both jumped in and moved extremely fast in this relationship. If you say you love a person before 6 months (that's what social scientists have concluded is the minimum amount of time to truly get to know someone), then you're falling in love with a projection -or potential - of a person. 2 weeks is way too soon to say you love somebody. It's infatuation, nothing else. It sounds like she's realizing this now. And by what you're saying, it sounds like you are too. I also didn't want to break up with my gf because I thought she was extremely attractive and I couldn't get better. I felt great around her, but very insecure about the relationship when we were apart. Eventually, I was dumped, and it was one of the worst heartbreaks I've experienced. I don't like being negative, but I feel I can truly relate to you on this and unfortunately, because of that, I truly don't think this relationship will end well if you drag it out
Author Achellin Posted May 5, 2010 Author Posted May 5, 2010 (edited) Your relationship is on the rocks, hands down. I dated a girl that gave off very similar vibes as this girl is. She is having an attraction or connection issue with you. Let me tell you one thing for sure. You guys both jumped in and moved extremely fast in this relationship. If you say you love a person before 6 months (that's what social scientists have concluded is the minimum amount of time to truly get to know someone), then you're falling in love with a projection -or potential - of a person. 2 weeks is way too soon to say you love somebody. It's infatuation, nothing else. It sounds like she's realizing this now. And by what you're saying, it sounds like you are too. I also didn't want to break up with my gf because I thought she was extremely attractive and I couldn't get better. I felt great around her, but very insecure about the relationship when we were apart. Eventually, I was dumped, and it was one of the worst heartbreaks I've experienced. I don't like being negative, but I feel I can truly relate to you on this and unfortunately, because of that, I truly don't think this relationship will end well if you drag it out Yeah... I told her many times she was moving too fast. I tell her I need to study and I get gultied into coming over. Or something. I am a computer scientist. I go to school with all GUYS. I don't like parties, bars, clubs. Last girl before this one I met at my favorite coffee shop. Turned out to be a cutter with bad hygiene. I have social skills, but you know. Where are you going to find a girl that like to play PC games with you... that doesn't have big emotional problems. Honestly I never, loved her. I strongly felt for her. Now there is some resentment in me for being forced to say I love her. sigh though she has these problems. Dumping her before her 21st makes me feel reallllly bad. I don't want anything to happen to her. Shes a sweet girl and makes a really strong effort. Would do almost anything to get this to work out. Some of the issue probably is we are extremely compatible. I don't remember her. I'm INTP ( Mires Brigg). Meaning I'm the absent minded professor. Hers was the most compatible with mine. Though I guess no matter how many times you do it, you can't match someone on a list. Least not until you have all the information. Edited May 5, 2010 by Achellin
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