I Miss the Kiss Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 Ok I will make this quick, I'm at work... yesterday I received a SCATHING message thru Facebook from a friend of my MM's BS. The funny thing is that the BS has her own Facebook, yet she either used her friend's account to contact me or the friend did it (but MM says he's pretty certain from reading it that the BS wrote it or at least orchestrated it). My question to you all is whether you would respond or not. I have not as of yet, andat this point I don't plan to.... She insulted my skills as a mother, which infuriated me, but the rest of it I expect and understand (although it was worded in a very immature way). Just throwing this out there for opinions, not trying to start a debate really.
joey66 Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 Ok I will make this quick, I'm at work... yesterday I received a SCATHING message thru Facebook from a friend of my MM's BS. The funny thing is that the BS has her own Facebook, yet she either used her friend's account to contact me or the friend did it (but MM says he's pretty certain from reading it that the BS wrote it or at least orchestrated it). My question to you all is whether you would respond or not. I have not as of yet, andat this point I don't plan to.... She insulted my skills as a mother, which infuriated me, but the rest of it I expect and understand (although it was worded in a very immature way). Just throwing this out there for opinions, not trying to start a debate really. IMTK - Remind me, is he your MM or your xMM? I don't think you should respond. What good can come from it?
secretlady76 Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 Ok I will make this quick, I'm at work... yesterday I received a SCATHING message thru Facebook from a friend of my MM's BS. The funny thing is that the BS has her own Facebook, yet she either used her friend's account to contact me or the friend did it (but MM says he's pretty certain from reading it that the BS wrote it or at least orchestrated it). My question to you all is whether you would respond or not. I have not as of yet, andat this point I don't plan to.... She insulted my skills as a mother, which infuriated me, but the rest of it I expect and understand (although it was worded in a very immature way). Just throwing this out there for opinions, not trying to start a debate really. Don't reply, there is nothing more powerful than silence; come on, we've all been there and sent an email hoping for a reply and been mad/sad/annoyed/angry at not recieving a response....so don't respond to this one, it'll really irritate her.
jthorne Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 (but MM says he's pretty certain from reading it that the BS wrote it or at least orchestrated it).WHAT!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!!? Guess you're not in NC any more...
Hazyhead Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 WHAT!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!!? Guess you're not in NC any more... Indeed! IMTK, the message isn't the issue (no, don't respond), this is!
fooled once Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 I can't believe you let him back in again As for the purpose of this thread - leave it alone. She has every right to be pissed as hell at you because you continue to have an affair with her husband. Goes to show that they aren't nearly as 'separated' as he told you nor whatever little friend you have spying on him (since you can't trust him) in his town.
Always A Lesson Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 Is your MM the guy that keeps going back and forth between you and his wife??? (but MM says he's pretty certain from reading it that the BS wrote it or at least orchestrated it). U still in contact with him?
ladydesigner Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 Don't contact her. I will never understand the purpose of these emails as the recipient as well as the sender probably don't really give a s**t anyways. I know I wouldn't.
jthorne Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 Hey, Maybe she can get Grandma's quilt back... Seriously, IMTK, can you blame her for insulting you? You've thrown plenty of insults her way here on LS. And you were (and still are?) banging her husband... I don't really see what responding would accomplish at this point. What would you say to her that would be truly sincere?
2sure Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 I dont think responding or not responding is going to change how anyone in the triangle feels or have an influence on the outcome.
Author I Miss the Kiss Posted May 5, 2010 Author Posted May 5, 2010 Oh, we have been in NC for well over a week, or I should say very, very LC. We have talked exactly once, and I let him know about the message, but only by email and we did not talk and won't. I am with all of you as far as not replying. I hadn't planned to but was just asking your thoughts. I also agree that silence is powerful... that was my thought at first, too. There is nothing I could say that would change/help/erase or otherwise affect anything that has happened. It believe it was purely venting on her part and I expected that anyway (although I find it odd she didn't come to me straight thru her own facebook or phone... oh well). I won't be replying, and I know I haven't updated by I am doing VERY well this past week or so. I've even had what you might call a date Its like a weight has been lifted. I do love the xMM still, with all my heart, but I feel like the hold he has had over me has been broken somewhat. I am not healed by any means, but I see a light at the end of the tunnel. As for our conversation (the only one we had), he of course tried to convince me I shouldn't run off and date anyone (ya right), and he said he is still living alone and as a matter of fact, his W didn't speak to him the first week after he had been down here to see me for the convention/our anniversary (other than speaking about the kids). I didn't feel a bit sorry for him. LOL I'm fine... finally.
Author I Miss the Kiss Posted May 5, 2010 Author Posted May 5, 2010 (edited) Hey, Maybe she can get Grandma's quilt back... Seriously, IMTK, can you blame her for insulting you? You've thrown plenty of insults her way here on LS. And you were (and still are?) banging her husband... I don't really see what responding would accomplish at this point. What would you say to her that would be truly sincere? As I said, I had and still have no intention of responding. I was merely asking for thoughts, in case I should look at this from a different angle than I already am. Edited May 5, 2010 by I Miss the Kiss
Author I Miss the Kiss Posted May 5, 2010 Author Posted May 5, 2010 I dont think responding or not responding is going to change how anyone in the triangle feels or have an influence on the outcome. I totally agree.
ladydesigner Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 Oh, we have been in NC for well over a week, or I should say very, very LC. We have talked exactly once, and I let him know about the message, but only by email and we did not talk and won't. I am with all of you as far as not replying. I hadn't planned to but was just asking your thoughts. I also agree that silence is powerful... that was my thought at first, too. There is nothing I could say that would change/help/erase or otherwise affect anything that has happened. It believe it was purely venting on her part and I expected that anyway (although I find it odd she didn't come to me straight thru her own facebook or phone... oh well). I won't be replying, and I know I haven't updated by I am doing VERY well this past week or so. I've even had what you might call a date Its like a weight has been lifted. I do love the xMM still, with all my heart, but I feel like the hold he has had over me has been broken somewhat. I am not healed by any means, but I see a light at the end of the tunnel. As for our conversation (the only one we had), he of course tried to convince me I shouldn't run off and date anyone (ya right), and he said he is still living alone and as a matter of fact, his W didn't speak to him the first week after he had been down here to see me for the convention/our anniversary (other than speaking about the kids). I didn't feel a bit sorry for him. LOL I'm fine... finally. Yo go girl. Keep dating and keep your chin up you are FABULOUS!!! Stay NC though. I think even if he were to produce divorce papers the relationship has been tainted by how many times you have been thrown under the bus. Start fresh with a new SG. That will get you over XMM.
Author I Miss the Kiss Posted May 5, 2010 Author Posted May 5, 2010 Yo go girl. Keep dating and keep your chin up you are FABULOUS!!! Stay NC though. I think even if he were to produce divorce papers the relationship has been tainted by how many times you have been thrown under the bus. Start fresh with a new SG. That will get you over XMM. Thank you!!! I'm trying... its getting easier a lot faster than I thought it would!!!
jthorne Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 Oh, we have been in NC for well over a week, or I should say very, very LC. We have talked exactly once, and I let him know about the message, but only by email and we did not talk and won't. I am with all of you as far as not replying. I hadn't planned to but was just asking your thoughts. I also agree that silence is powerful... that was my thought at first, too. There is nothing I could say that would change/help/erase or otherwise affect anything that has happened. It believe it was purely venting on her part and I expected that anyway (although I find it odd she didn't come to me straight thru her own facebook or phone... oh well). I won't be replying, and I know I haven't updated by I am doing VERY well this past week or so. I've even had what you might call a date Its like a weight has been lifted. I do love the xMM still, with all my heart, but I feel like the hold he has had over me has been broken somewhat. I am not healed by any means, but I see a light at the end of the tunnel. As for our conversation (the only one we had), he of course tried to convince me I shouldn't run off and date anyone (ya right), and he said he is still living alone and as a matter of fact, his W didn't speak to him the first week after he had been down here to see me for the convention/our anniversary (other than speaking about the kids). I didn't feel a bit sorry for him. LOL I'm fine... finally. Ok good. I'm sorry if I jumped the gun and was hard on you. But I still think he needs to give Grandma's quilt back. (as long as you don't have to see him)
Author I Miss the Kiss Posted May 5, 2010 Author Posted May 5, 2010 I can't believe you let him back in again As for the purpose of this thread - leave it alone. She has every right to be pissed as hell at you because you continue to have an affair with her husband. Goes to show that they aren't nearly as 'separated' as he told you nor whatever little friend you have spying on him (since you can't trust him) in his town. This Facebook message didn't indicate at all that they were back together. Quite the contrary, actually. It was clear that they still are not together. It was merely the BS venting her anger, which of course is her right. So my "little friend" as you call them wasn't wrong, although it really doesn't matter now anyway. xMM's story and the message I received thru Facebook match perfectly, believe it or not. Her intention in the message was not to warn me away but to vent about what has already happened (again, I expect this and it is her right to vent and insult).
Author I Miss the Kiss Posted May 5, 2010 Author Posted May 5, 2010 Ok good. I'm sorry if I jumped the gun and was hard on you. But I still think he needs to give Grandma's quilt back. (as long as you don't have to see him) Apology accepted I DO want that darn quilt! The one time we did talk, he brought that up: "Oh ya, Peanut... I do still use the quilt. I love it.. I snuggle with it... it reminds me of you." BLECH
Hazyhead Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 Apology accepted I DO want that darn quilt! The one time we did talk, he brought that up: "Oh ya, Peanut... I do still use the quilt. I love it.. I snuggle with it... it reminds me of you." BLECH I'm glad you're still doing ok About the quilt, perhaps you should reply that it remind you of your grandma and that's FAR more important. Tell him he has memories to remind him of you and to enjoy them.
fooled once Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 Apology accepted I DO want that darn quilt! The one time we did talk, he brought that up: "Oh ya, Peanut... I do still use the quilt. I love it.. I snuggle with it... it reminds me of you." BLECH And what did you say? Did you tell him to mail it to you? Your ORIGINAL post said "MM" and talked about you and he discussed the FB message. It wasn't until several of us were that you said "xMM". Not my business because it doesn't affect me, but I think you are still seeing him or secretly holding out hope that you and he will get back together.
jthorne Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 And what did you say? Did you tell him to mail it to you? And did you tell him that he's no longer allowed to call you Peanut? Awfully presumptive of him to continue to call you that. It disrespects you and your space.
Hazyhead Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 And did you tell him that he's no longer allowed to call you Peanut? Awfully presumptive of him to continue to call you that. It disrespects you and your space. Agreed. IMTK, it might just be me, but it actually sounds patronising and almost condescending. I hope you know, IMTK, is that all the posts worried about your status of NC, are only because we've seen you get sucked back into this so many times. Take your power back from him; maybe the quilt is a good place to start...
her_halo_slipped Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 Ok I will make this quick, I'm at work... yesterday I received a SCATHING message thru Facebook from a friend of my MM's BS. The funny thing is that the BS has her own Facebook, yet she either used her friend's account to contact me or the friend did it (but MM says he's pretty certain from reading it that the BS wrote it or at least orchestrated it). My question to you all is whether you would respond or not. I have not as of yet, andat this point I don't plan to.... She insulted my skills as a mother, which infuriated me, but the rest of it I expect and understand (although it was worded in a very immature way). Just throwing this out there for opinions, not trying to start a debate really. No IMTK don't respond. Stay a cut above the flak and just don't respond.
jthorne Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 Agreed. IMTK, it might just be me, but it actually sounds patronising and almost condescending. I hope you know, IMTK, is that all the posts worried about your status of NC, are only because we've seen you get sucked back into this so many times. Take your power back from him; maybe the quilt is a good place to start...Agreed on both counts.
RedDevil66 Posted May 6, 2010 Posted May 6, 2010 more tough love here: I think you dating is ridiculous! All you're doing is trying to stop the pain. Maybe if you allow yourself to feel pain you can finally heal. You're not finally fine or healing. It's like saying you've cured yourself of stage 5 cancer in a week. Do not reply to his wife. Why would you even ask? That would only keep the drama ongoing from a man you claim you're never going to be with again. IMTK, I really do want you to be well, but you're not anywhere near well and I do think this is going to have a HUGE effect on your kids. Stop using all your energy on this drama and use your energy to seek help for your serious emotional issues. I say NONE OF THIS out of bad intent, but I really don't think you're ready to heal so my words will be taken with bad intentions.
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