amythan Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 Hi, I am feeling so stressed that i know i am going to ruin everything. Long story short, there are a million of reasons to do not pursuit this "relationship" but it seems a bit too late He started contacting me and i was like bah ... but he was cute and he makes me smile. I was bored and he was just doing all the right things. We work together but not in the same town and he said he wants to visit me before the end of the month. It was his idea, not mine. Last week he seemed excited about asking me where we will go and what i will dress The problem is that i have been there. Someone who seemed to be head over heels one day and then all sudden ... nothing. I used to be confident but now i am sad and insecure. We speak just during the week and every monday i am going crazy thinking that he could take a step back ... We talk today and he seemed distracted and busy and i was panicking ! I am dying to ask him when he comes but i know this is a mistake ... What should i do ? Should i wait until he contacts me and brings the topic ?? Sometimes i just want to disappear, i am falling for him and i do not want to be played and get hurt.
JohnM Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 Feel the situation out. You're worrying too much. Don't rush into anything, and if you want to then arrange when you will meet. Suggest a time or general date and try to mutually arrange a meet from there. You sound like you have been damaged by previous relationships and are now unwilling to trust. If this is the case take things nice and slow. Meet up and keep it as friends just the first few times, maybe 3 dates. Don't even kiss, don't commit yourself. if he likes you enough he can wait. Only when you are comfortable and trust in him commit yourself to entering something romantic. Try not to place too much pressure on yourself or the situation, these things have a habit of taking care of themselves. Your heart won't break so easily, you just need to build up its strength and be sure you are not being too hasty and risky too early. The time for falling deeply for someone is a month or two after securing a stable relationship, not before you have even properly met up regularly.
Author amythan Posted May 6, 2010 Author Posted May 6, 2010 I cannot do that. The guy is contacting me every day. And asking when I am going to visit him. He was suppossed to come here this month but he says he does not have an excuse (it should be work related) and if I want to see him I should make up one. I am seriously fed up. Why chasing someone and then do all this games. I do not want to be unfair but I do not get this. If he is not interested why he does not leave me alone. Why he is saying that mid june is too far away to see me ... I do not know what all this means but I do not like it.
Author amythan Posted May 6, 2010 Author Posted May 6, 2010 I am really scared to make a fool of myself. I was really hurt in the past and i do not want to put myself in the same situation. It seems i cannot read if he is interested or just friendly. How to know ?? He contacts me everyday and teases me. He call me sweet names, he cares about what i am saying and all these signs of "I am interested". But then he does these things that confuse me. Last friday he was all "where you are going to bring me when i visit you", "i want to see you before the end of may" and blah blah blah and today he says i have to make up an excuse for him (with his boss) if i want to see him !!! What does it mean ? I was really annoyed and i think i didn't react that well ... i told him, i am sure if you want to see me you make up an excuse to come. Yes, i know ... I need your thoughts on this, i start to feel a bit silly Thank you !!
torranceshipman Posted May 6, 2010 Posted May 6, 2010 I cannot do that. The guy is contacting me every day. And asking when I am going to visit him. He was suppossed to come here this month but he says he does not have an excuse (it should be work related) and if I want to see him I should make up one. I am seriously fed up. Why chasing someone and then do all this games. I do not want to be unfair but I do not get this. If he is not interested why he does not leave me alone. Why he is saying that mid june is too far away to see me ... I do not know what all this means but I do not like it. Sounds strange to me. Why does he need an excuse to visit you?
Author amythan Posted May 6, 2010 Author Posted May 6, 2010 Oh just an excuse to our boss to approve the trip ... But i was disappointed because last week he was talking about vising me !
BackUpOrGetStung Posted May 6, 2010 Posted May 6, 2010 Don't budge with him on this one or else you'll keep having to be the one to make sacrifices. Tell him that if you're going to visit it's going to need to be at a convenient time for you.
Recommended Posts