Has anyone ever thought they lost ''the one'' and ended up with someone even more soO

[Nickkk]

Well i dont want to really tell my story but you'll get the picture after reading what i have to write.

 

 

Have you guys/girls ever broke up with who at the time you thought was the love of your life, the one, that special girl/guy, the one you loved soOOO much, but then eventually ended up with someone even better?

 

 

I just turned 20 and the one (for me) just broke up with me, and i feel i'll never find another girl like her, this wasn't a short relationship, it was a long one, i've lost hope, i feel that i'll never ever find another girl that will make me as happy or make me feel the same way.

 

The thing that saddens me the most is, will i ever find another girl, im not the smartest guy, im in year 12 at the age of 20, but i am doing very well, studying it up getting good marks, long story as to whyyy im 2 years behind, but long story short, my dad was busted by cops, i had NO IDEA he was involved in illegal business, i was 17 at the time and arrested aswell and spent a night in a cell, gooood memories NOTTTT, so i had to move to stay with my mum and she lived in a rural area up near the country side in another state, and i couldn't get any education up there.

 

Meanwhile my brother stayed in a flat with his roomates and smoked weed all the time and drunk alot, 2 room apartment in the city, not the environment i wanted to be in while needing to study hard for my final 2 years of school, i worked at the time but i had nowhere near enough money to afford my own place, and my friends all lived at home and had no reason to leave at only 16-17 years old, so i moved to stay with my mum, for 6 months, til my sister who went to another state moved back to the state i lived in, and when that happened i moved back and1 was i was almost 18 by this time, and being August 2008 it was too late in the year to begin year.11 again, so i waited til 2009, i spent the rest of 08 working, but as 09 started i left workand caved into my studies.

 

Not even sure why i mentioned that but well thats why im 2 years behind.

 

Im not saying im the greatest guy of all time but, my view on a relationship is this, if you love him/her then you can only love him/her, i consider cheating on your bf/gf to be one of the worst things you can do, me and my ex we're VERRRYYY faithful to each other, i guess we we're raised on these values and embraced it.

 

We talked every night, i would pick her up no matter what time or where she was, i never neglected her, i was always there for her, i showed her i loved her, and she was the exact same, she was the perfect gf, but i missed the biggest thing, the thing that could have prevented me from writing this post right now and i feel so very stupidand regretful for being so blind.

 

 

My question is, has anyone here felt so shattered when they broke up with someone, and thought that someone was theee ''one'' and loved him/her soO much, but eventually moved on and found someone else that truly was the one.

Edited May 5, 2010 by Nickkk
Left out something, typos

[CaliGuy]

I think when you find the right person there will be no doubts between the both of you that you are "right" for each other.

 

I also think, in your case and many others here, that you need to stop spending so much time worrying over something you can not control....

[Eeyore79]

Yes, it is possible to think someone is "the one" and then meet someone else later on who literally blows the first person out of the water. I spent years pining for someone who I thought I loved, only to meet someone else later on who raised the bar for how great a relationship could be

[sunshinegirl]

My question is, has anyone here felt so shattered when they broke up with someone, and thought that someone was theee ''one'' and loved him/her soO much, but eventually moved on and found someone else that truly was the one.

 

Yes.

 

I thought I had found "the one" two or three times, in fact. One difference (among many) between those guys and the man who is definitely my ONE (and I'll be marrying him this fall) is the reciprocity of our relationship and the level of intimacy we have with each other. All the previous guys held something back in one way or another, yet I let my own feelings develop to the point where I was convinced they were IT for me, even though they were not fully present and engaged in our relationship.

 

You're 20 - never fear, you will love again and I can almost guarantee that you will love even more deeply and more sweetly than before.

[Nickkk]

Yes, it is possible to think someone is "the one" and then meet someone else later on who literally blows the first person out of the water. I spent years pining for someone who I thought I loved, only to meet someone else later on who raised the bar for how great a relationship could be

 

 

 

Thats really great, im happy for youu =)

[Nickkk]

Yes.

 

I thought I had found "the one" two or three times, in fact. One difference (among many) between those guys and the man who is definitely my ONE (and I'll be marrying him this fall) is the reciprocity of our relationship and the level of intimacy we have with each other. All the previous guys held something back in one way or another, yet I let my own feelings develop to the point where I was convinced they were IT for me, even though they were not fully present and engaged in our relationship.

 

You're 20 - never fear, you will love again and I can almost guarantee that you will love even more deeply and more sweetly than before.

 

 

 

 

Thank you for your insight, thats wonderful, i wish you alll the best, and thanks aloooottttt for a nice and sweet reply =)

[Eeyore79]

One difference (among many) between those guys and the man who is definitely my ONE (and I'll be marrying him this fall) is the reciprocity of our relationship and the level of intimacy we have with each other. All the previous guys held something back in one way or another, yet I let my own feelings develop to the point where I was convinced they were IT for me, even though they were not fully present and engaged in our relationship.

 

This pretty much hits the nail on the head. The first couple of times I fell in love, I was totally head over heels but the guy in question didn't reciprocate or make any real effort. This of course just made me feel more desperately in love and more determined to win him over, and I was constantly chasing after that reciprocation, until I was eventually dumped. Then I was heartbroken because I loved someone who didn't love me back.

 

I have been on the other side of the equation too, where someone loved me but I simply wasn't into them. I assume they must have felt that lack of reciprocation and continued trying to win me over... but the more they pushed me, the more I backed away, until it got too much and I broke up with them.

 

I'm dating someone else now, and though it's early days I really like that we both seem to feel the same way and reciprocate each other's affection. Imo reciprocity is the most important part of a relationship, and it's the part of love which is too often ignored... people usually only think about how they feel, and they don't factor in whether the other person loves them back.

[SadKitty78]

Yes.

 

I thought I had found "the one" two or three times, in fact. One difference (among many) between those guys and the man who is definitely my ONE (and I'll be marrying him this fall) is the reciprocity of our relationship and the level of intimacy we have with each other. All the previous guys held something back in one way or another, yet I let my own feelings develop to the point where I was convinced they were IT for me, even though they were not fully present and engaged in our relationship.

 

Thank you for sharing this! It gives us recent breakup-ees so much hope and a real understanding of what a healthy relationship SHOULD be!

[Nickkk]

yeahh thanks guys for the replies, it does help me reading your stories.

[jmaclean]

A friend of mine went out with this girl for 4 years, they moved in together and got a mortgage together. Then she basically went crazy and dumped him for someone else. Tons of emotional misery (as well as financial). Two weeks later he went to a wedding and met a girl there - 5 years later he is happily married to her and they are such a fantastic couple together - everyone can see it. Just imagine if he hadn't got dumped all those years ago...!

 

My mate's story gave me a lot of reassurance after the awful break up I went through recently. 6 weeks after the breakup I am now starting to notice other girls and start to think that there really are people out there who are better suited to me.