mimanchi Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 First time poster here. I heard a lot of positive things about this board. I've posted on other boards But its filled with immature people. That being said, here is my situation. I'm in love with my girlfriend (?). We've had a long distance relationsbip for just shy under A year. We've had our ups and downs and you know there have been issues. She says She isn't happy - but I've done everything a bf could do. In fact, I've been too attentive. It would take a book for me to tell you the things I've done and sacrified for her -- just Trust me when I say I did it all for love. She knows this too. I have been involved w the family and ishe was suppose to move in w me in june. Things, while not surprisingly, have taken a turn. We've been fighting a lot lately. I told her last week I wanted time to think about what for my life And that I want the week to think. I cancelled my trip to see her. On sunday I called and we argued and she wanted to break up and I didn't honestly fight her Bc if she wants that then so be it. She wanted to think. So I said sure. She did tell me I care more than she cares for me. I ended up calling her and saying I agree tot the breakupa nd I love her but its the right thing to do. She agreed. Not five minutes went b before she called me crying asking why I did that she just wanted time. And before I knew it we agree to be together -- until next day when I called her. She Said I didn't give her time. We screamed and cried and then we got nice and I remained calm. Everything was said be it was Genuine and caring. She said she thoughjt I loved her more and then she said if she leaves She may regret it for the rest of her life. I said there's no righj ot wrong, there's left and rigjht. She cried more and I never pulled her really. At the end I told her to take her time, find herself and I won't call her. I don't know if were together or not or on a break or not. On face book she hasn't removed relationship and in fact changed her profile picture to a heart on a locket with our names on it and its inscribed when we fell in love. I was a bit confusedd. Any thought? I haven't contacted her, I kinda disappear and I'm not going to contact her. Thoguts?
TaraMaiden Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 You're doing the right thing. Disappear, delete facebook and get on with your life one day at a time. Do not contact her, give her time to breathe and if she contacts you tell her the conversation is to clear up one thing, and one thing only. Are you an item? because if you are, you both need to commit, not play mind games and do things on an equal footing. if you're not, then the conversation ends here. And I have to say, if she believes you're into this more than she is, then she's probably not going to be able to actually make it any deeper. if she cannot love you to an equitable intensity, you can't love enough for the both of you.
Author mimanchi Posted May 5, 2010 Author Posted May 5, 2010 I over compensated my love bc she had a hard time communicating ... She didn't tell me, so the more I didn't see the more I did -- I exhausted myself ... I do not understand why she won't let me go if that's what she wants ...
TaraMaiden Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 I over compensated my love bc she had a hard time communicating ... No, I suspect you over-compensated because as she did not communicate well, you felt you needed to do better. And she let you. She didn't tell me, so the more I didn't see the more I did Precisely. This was to make you feel better, rather than making her feel better. At least you knew you were making the effort. Nobody can tell you that you didn't try. I exhausted myself ... I do not understand why she won't let me go if that's what she wants ... f you're that exhausted, then you need a breather. Detach. And the only way she will let go, is if you do not respond to anything other "I think we really should do this, because we can, and I think we can do this, because we really should." Anything else is a waste of time, and trying to see or guess why, equally so.
Author mimanchi Posted May 5, 2010 Author Posted May 5, 2010 (edited) I love her, I want her to know the "rea" me - no that I was fake but not so much trying ... Natural me -- she needed to communicate -- I don't want us to end but if it happens I won't fight it bc I do love her , because I'd do anything for her. She's just confusing me ... Especially that facebook pic. Edited May 5, 2010 by mimanchi
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