Rorschach Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 Copy Pasta'd from yahoo answers to see what LS thinks. I'm a 22 year old male who is not in any relationship right now and hasn't had sex in months, but I'm worried about a hypothetical situation where I'm trying to be responsible but for whatever reason an accidental pregnancy happens. I'm a young entrepreneur and I would literally be throwing my life away if I had to bring a child into the situation right now. There are only two surefire options, abstain until I'm ready which I CAN do but I don't know how happy any girl I met would be with that (if she's not getting it from me is she going to just find somebody else) Or I go and put some boys in a freezer in some science lab somewhere and then get snipped. I could still have children when I was ready, and I wouldn't have to worry about having any by accident ever again, the only downside is that when I did have kids I wouldn't be able to make them naturally and would have to go about it by alternative means (using my boys that I've saved for just this occasion). My question is how would a woman view this? As a woman which man would you rather be with? The one who just doesn't have sex or the one who can't have kids with you the normal way ever. (and I'm really not exaggerating when I say I CAN NOT have a child right now, it just isn't going to work in any sense, as that is the case I want to try and be responsible by not taking the risk. If I can't afford the responsibility of a child I can't afford to have sex right now, so if these were my options which is preferable?)
spookie Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 If I knew the guy was this scared of kids I wouldn't want to date him.
Author Rorschach Posted May 5, 2010 Author Posted May 5, 2010 If I knew the guy was this scared of kids I wouldn't want to date him. Yet another problem I have I work 90-100 hour work weeks building a business that will someday provide me and my FAMILY with a large income (my goal is a million a year which is something I consider reasonable based on what I've see it do so far). But in the beginning stages of the business everything is just so stressful and delicate I don't know what I'd do. Frankly I'm terrified.
silverfish Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 You could be asking your future W to go throuh up to 3 cycles of IVF, assuming you can afford it (about £12,000). Not many women would agree to that. Its painful, expensive and emotionally draining.
carhill Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 No worries then. You barely have time to eat and sleep, much less nurture an intimate relationship and any children which might result. Get the business built to the point where you can work 'normal' hours and aren't tethered to the business 24/7, then look for a relationship. No rush.
USMCHokie Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 If the situation was flipped and a girl said this to me...that there'd be no sex or that she was going to take extreme measures because she just couldn't get pregnant now, then that'd be an insta-LAUNCH... It just means that you're not dateable at the moment and need to get your sh*t together first.
Author Rorschach Posted May 5, 2010 Author Posted May 5, 2010 No worries then. You barely have time to eat and sleep, much less nurture an intimate relationship and any children which might result. Get the business built to the point where you can work 'normal' hours and aren't tethered to the business 24/7, then look for a relationship. No rush. *points to sig* I'm also already extremely emotionally drained, I don't have enough friends, I don't have anybody special in my life, and outside of my business life I feel like my life is extremely lacking. Waiting 3 years for my business to properly develop is not something I really want to do. Though it would make everything easier. I should mention that the 90-100 hours is all hours I set, so making time for dating is not a problem, I want friday/saturday off? done, easy peasy, just have to work the rest of the week.
TouchedByViolet Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 What about the obvious answer? standard birth control. Wear a condom, they are about 95% effective. Also, most women are on some form of birth control so if you both are on birth control the chance of her getting pregnant is less than 1%. If she gets pregnant consider it an act of God and a sign.
Author Rorschach Posted May 5, 2010 Author Posted May 5, 2010 What about the obvious answer? standard birth control. Wear a condom, they are about 95% effective. Also, most women are on some form of birth control so if you both are on birth control the chance of her getting pregnant is less than 1%. If she gets pregnant consider it an act of God and a sign. Beyond the fact that condom sex is almost as bad as no sex at all. Even that teeny tiny 1% scares me, every month my ex was late by a week I'd be tearing my hair out stressed all week long.
Eeyore79 Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 I wouldn't go for the snip; it will put a lot of women off. Personally I wouldn't want to go through IVF unless it was absolutely necessary for medical reasons, and I would not look favourably on a guy who had purposely had the snip. I think what you need to do is use dual precautions; make sure you're in a trusted relationship where you've already discussed that abortion would be an option in case of pregnancy, then use condoms and have her take the pill too. Also keep an eye on your used condoms; it wouldn't be the first time a girl has inserted the contents of a condom after sex in an effort to trap a guy.
USMCHokie Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 Beyond the fact that condom sex is almost as bad as no sex at all. Even that teeny tiny 1% scares me, every month my ex was late by a week I'd be tearing my hair out stressed all week long. Such is the price you pay to play...
CarrieT Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 Beyond the fact that condom sex is almost as bad as no sex at all. Even that teeny tiny 1% scares me, every month my ex was late by a week I'd be tearing my hair out stressed all week long. There is also the chance that *if* snipped, a woman would still insist on condom sex for STD reasons so even though you wouldn't be making babies, you still wouldn't be able to bareback.
USMCHokie Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 I think what you need to do is use dual precautions; make sure you're in a trusted relationship where you've already discussed that abortion would be an option in case of pregnancy, then use condoms and have her take the pill too. Also keep an eye on your used condoms; it wouldn't be the first time a girl has inserted the contents of a condom after sex in an effort to trap a guy. Seriously...I've heard of these kinds of women...but where do you find them?!? All I can find are the ones that run away...
Author Rorschach Posted May 5, 2010 Author Posted May 5, 2010 Bleh, I'll probably just abstain until the business is up and running ENOUGH (2 years tops if I work as hard as I can, probably be in the 100k range by then and be skilled enough at the business where there is less stress innately involved). Theres alot of fun that can be had that doesn't end with babies anyway.
Author Rorschach Posted May 5, 2010 Author Posted May 5, 2010 There is also the chance that *if* snipped, a woman would still insist on condom sex for STD reasons so even though you wouldn't be making babies, you still wouldn't be able to bareback. This is very true but of course, I know I'm clean, and I am not a ONS kind of guy, I only want sex once I'm emotionally involved and ready to be in a commited relationship, and at that point asking for us to both get tested and riding bareback shouldn't be an unreasonable request.
carhill Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 I should mention that the 90-100 hours is all hours I set, so making time for dating is not a problem, I want friday/saturday off? done, easy peasy, just have to work the rest of the week.Thanks....sometimes the sig lines don't show up in the postings. I've been self-employed for 25 years now, so kinda understand the work part, though not the millionaire part. Life is what happens after you make plans. Imagine a young lady your age of equal stature and status, a fair expectation. Can you reasonably see your schedules matching up for a meaningful relationship? Orgasms take only minutes but I'm guessing that you (and she) would prefer something more 'complete'. How will you and she make that happen? A possible alternative would be to engage in sexual practices other than intercourse. One of our LS members who's in a LDR is an intercourse 'virgin' but she and her BF engage in other orgasmic sexual practices. Would something like that satisfy your desires/fears? If so, all that remains is to find a compatible partner, a young, busy, driven female who has similar fears/concerns about pregnancy but desires an intimate relationship. Hope it works out and best of luck with the business.
electricity Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 I'd very much respect a man who told me he didn't feel responsible enough for a child and therefore wanted to abstain until he was capable of supporting a child. I think women are more open to that than men are. Besides, there are other kinds of ways to release sexual desires (oral/manual). I would be very put off by a man who was so terrified of children and yet so desirous of sex that he would require me to put my body through IVF if we ever wanted kids instead of keeping it in his pants for a few years. Especially if he did it before we met so he could have lots and lots of sex with other women.
Author Rorschach Posted May 5, 2010 Author Posted May 5, 2010 Thanks....sometimes the sig lines don't show up in the postings. I've been self-employed for 25 years now, so kinda understand the work part, though not the millionaire part. Life is what happens after you make plans. Imagine a young lady your age of equal stature and status, a fair expectation. Can you reasonably see your schedules matching up for a meaningful relationship? Orgasms take only minutes but I'm guessing that you (and she) would prefer something more 'complete'. How will you and she make that happen? A possible alternative would be to engage in sexual practices other than intercourse. One of our LS members who's in a LDR is an intercourse 'virgin' but she and her BF engage in other orgasmic sexual practices. Would something like that satisfy your desires/fears? If so, all that remains is to find a compatible partner, a young, busy, driven female who has similar fears/concerns about pregnancy but desires an intimate relationship. Hope it works out and best of luck with the business. I honestly don't see the business standing in the way of a relationship, I have enough control over it already to see to that. But I was raised in a business minded family and fed business minded dreams, I do not want a white house with a picket fense a boy a girl and a dog. I want a house on a lake, my own pilot license and a aquatic plane to go with it. And I'm going to drive one of these http://www.gibbstech.com/aquada.php Lofty dreams may hap, but if you knew me in real life you probably haven't met anybody quite so driven to succeed as I. (I have a savings plan where I'm going to by myself that car on my 27th birthday (the age my father first went into business). Anyway I have no problems satisfying myself with non-intercourse sex, which may be the best option. At least for the next couple years, I'm not a fan of having a child out of wedlock (I'm not that religious but a couple things still stuck) but it's something I can live with as long as I feel it's not going to screw up the plans I've been laying for myself since I was 12.
Author Rorschach Posted May 5, 2010 Author Posted May 5, 2010 I'd very much respect a man who told me he didn't feel responsible enough for a child and therefore wanted to abstain until he was capable of supporting a child. I think women are more open to that than men are. Besides, there are other kinds of ways to release sexual desires (oral/manual). I would be very put off by a man who was so terrified of children and yet so desirous of sex that he would require me to put my body through IVF if we ever wanted kids instead of keeping it in his pants for a few years. Especially if he did it before we met so he could have lots and lots of sex with other women. I agree, I think I"ve made the decision to go the abstaining route.
CarrieT Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 I agree, I think I"ve made the decision to go the abstaining route. Or you could take on an older lover who is beyond child-bearing years!
Author Rorschach Posted May 5, 2010 Author Posted May 5, 2010 Or you could take on an older lover who is beyond child-bearing years! Are you coming onto me carrie? Trying to pick up a hot young stud before you leave LS But I'll agree that is a third, slightly more questionable, option.
USMCHokie Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 BTW...You would be surprised how great a child can make your life...It's not the end of the world if it does happen. Agreed. Rorschach, I think you might be overreacting to this whole topic...stuff like this happens...life goes on...and it doesn't mean that your dream life will come crashing down without recourse... If you're looking at it from a strictly financial standpoint, how is this any different from a random freak catastrophic event that may very well cost more than raising a child...? I understand where you're coming from and your desire to succeed, but I'm not one to figuratively put my life on hold because I'm afraid of living...
CarrieT Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 Are you coming onto me carrie? Trying to pick up a hot young stud before you leave LS But I'll agree that is a third, slightly more questionable, option. Nah - I've had my share of youngsters... You guys can't keep up with the likes of me and I'm tired of being the teacher!
Author Rorschach Posted May 5, 2010 Author Posted May 5, 2010 Agreed. Rorschach, I think you might be overreacting to this whole topic...stuff like this happens...life goes on...and it doesn't mean that your dream life will come crashing down without recourse... If you're looking at it from a strictly financial standpoint, how is this any different from a random freak catastrophic event that may very well cost more than raising a child...? I understand where you're coming from and your desire to succeed, but I'm not one to figuratively put my life on hold because I'm afraid of living... A monetary loss is the least of my problems. If I'm going where I think I'm going money is not going to be one of the worries I have in life, I'm working very hard to see that. I'm more worried about the responsibilities, in addition to what I have to do to support a business, now I have to do my part in raising a child, ON TOP of that what if its a child with somebody who I don't even like? Now I have the whole 'tied to somebody else you don't even like' which is something I can't handle. Then there is what somebody mentioned in another thread in which having a child makes you far less desirable, so if I have a child with somebody who I don't end up marrying/living my life with it's that much harder to find somebody else. Given that, it's more than I can risk.
Author Rorschach Posted May 5, 2010 Author Posted May 5, 2010 Nah - I've had my share of youngsters... You guys can't keep up with the likes of me and I'm tired of being the teacher! I'll agree with that, you're far more experienced than I am. I don't think I want to be a student either this might go to places I don't want to go
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