I cannot attract women. Update/Journal

[SteveC80]

Men like you think you are so perfect because you are hot. Men like you will screw over guys who can't get any women just for fun.

You don't ****ing know what it's like for some men to not have had a LTR by 30.

 

Im trying to help you!!Where have i bragged to you and then put you down?

 

You are the one judging yourself by how you do with women,your putting thme on such a pedestal that you feel you need one or your lifes not complete,its obvious if u ever get one your gonna smother her to death and scare her off becasue she will be your whole life

[Engadget]

No offense Steve, if you're getting tons of women and so hot, you wouldn't be here.

 

m12 just needs to shush.

[sally4sara]

This thing I don't get is the hesitation to trying a different approach.

 

The attitudes where someone ends up thinking "that will never work" or "I can't do THAT". Why? Because you think the response will not be favorable?

 

Well if your other attempts were not received well, how would it be different if another approach you haven't tried ends up not received well?

 

I swear, on all I know, that if you just stop caring about getting the approval of a girl who doesn't even know you well enough to know what she is rejecting, you will have more success at getting their approval. Women respond to men who are convicted enough in who they are and what they offer that they don't flinch or shy away from the possibility of being rejected.

 

It is too much pressure on the girl to have some guy she doesn't know stepping to her for approval. She doesn't know you well enough to say if you're okay or not. The expectation of approval out of her results in her reluctance to give it. Instead, approach to figure out if YOU approve of HER.

[USMCHokie]

No offense Steve, if you're getting tons of women and so hot, you wouldn't be here.

 

I'd have to agree here. He really doesn't sound all that much like an attractive, confident man...the real ones would have absolutely no need to boast about their alleged attractiveness and success with dating on an internet forum...since they usually don't possess the insecurities that require validation from others...

 

Or he simply doesn't have much of a personality...

[USMCHokie]

This thing I don't get is the hesitation to trying a different approach.

 

The attitudes where someone ends up thinking "that will never work" or "I can't do THAT". Why? Because you think the response will not be favorable?

 

 

After enough repetitive failures, one almost becomes comfortable with failure and would rather just settle with nothing than do the work and take the risk for the chance to succeed.

[Engadget]

I'd have to agree here. He really doesn't sound all that much like an attractive, confident man...the real ones would have absolutely no need to boast about their alleged attractiveness and success with dating on an internet forum...since they usually don't possess the insecurities that require validation from others...

 

Or he simply doesn't have much of a personality...

 

Exactly. True confidence means you don't need to boast.

[RATED-RKOFRANKLIN]

This thing I don't get is the hesitation to trying a different approach.

 

The attitudes where someone ends up thinking "that will never work" or "I can't do THAT". Why? Because you think the response will not be favorable?

 

Well if your other attempts were not received well, how would it be different if another approach you haven't tried ends up not received well?

 

I swear, on all I know, that if you just stop caring about getting the approval of a girl who doesn't even know you well enough to know what she is rejecting, you will have more success at getting their approval. Women respond to men who are convicted enough in who they are and what they offer that they don't flinch or shy away from the possibility of being rejected.

 

It is too much pressure on the girl to have some guy she doesn't know stepping to her for approval. She doesn't know you well enough to say if you're okay or not. The expectation of approval out of her results in her reluctance to give it. Instead, approach to figure out if YOU approve of HER.

 

That is what I always do. I never try to get approval from a woman. I never ask a girl for a hug and any other physical contact(not grabbing a in a sexual manner like tits and ass). I just do it.

[sally4sara]

That is what I always do. I never try to get approval from a woman. I never ask a girl for a hug and any other physical contact(not grabbing a in a sexual manner like tits and ass). I just do it.

 

That is not really what I'm saying here Franklin. I'm not sure assaulting complete strangers is the best idea.

 

I'm talking about guys who approach a woman with "please accept me" as the first motivation and "are you who I want?" as the second if at all.

[RATED-RKOFRANKLIN]

That is not really what I'm saying here Franklin. I'm not sure assaulting complete strangers is the best idea.

 

I'm talking about guys who approach a woman with "please accept me" as the first motivation and "are you who I want?" as the second if at all.

 

I never instantly like a girl. I always get to know her first to find out if I want her. I normally do not think to myself about a girl to accept me. When a woman shows me signs she wants nothing to do with me then I get the message and move on. It's not the first thing in my mindset when I approach a girl.

[Cracker Jack]

Hey, man.

 

Well, you seem like you're actually trying, but just not getting the results. That's tough, since sometimes you can do everything that appears to be right, and still, for some reason, come up short.

 

Have you ever been attracted to any of your female friends? If so, have you ever made a move on them? I'm guessing not. I know that area is usually sensitive, but perhaps you should befriend a girl you find attractive, that has similiarities to you, and possibly try to start dating her from there.

 

Meeting random girls and dating is tough, which is why it always seems easier when it's with someone you know. I know I suck at meeting and approaching new girls, so at least you're better than me.

[homersheineken]

No offense Steve, if you're getting tons of women and so hot, you wouldn't be here.

 

m12 just needs to shush.

 

That doesn't make any sense. I do well with women. I come here because it's interesting, I can help others and others help me. I'm not perfect so there is room to grow and improve. This site is good for that.

[USMCHokie]

That doesn't make any sense. I do well with women. I come here because it's interesting, I can help others and others help me. I'm not perfect so there is room to grow and improve. This site is good for that.

 

Exactly. And you also don't remind the entire LS community that you're allegedly tall and attractive and have success with dating in every post you write...

[homersheineken]

I don't. I wrote it here because he was saying that those types (who do well with women) don't come on here - it was the whole point of the post. And I'm not tall nor am I particularly attractive.

[RATED-RKOFRANKLIN]

Hey, man.

 

Well, you seem like you're actually trying, but just not getting the results. That's tough, since sometimes you can do everything that appears to be right, and still, for some reason, come up short.

 

Have you ever been attracted to any of your female friends? If so, have you ever made a move on them? I'm guessing not. I know that area is usually sensitive, but perhaps you should befriend a girl you find attractive, that has similiarities to you, and possibly try to start dating her from there.

 

Meeting random girls and dating is tough, which is why it always seems easier when it's with someone you know. I know I suck at meeting and approaching new girls, so at least you're better than me.

 

I've tried a few friends in the past and it ended with the same results as being physically ugly to them.

[Cracker Jack]

Really? Is that what they actually said to you? They didn't say "they only see you as a friend" or anything along those lines? If so, that's just plain ignorant. I can't think of any friend that would say that to someone they value.

 

I know black chicks aren't your thing, so is your preference mainly white? Just asking. I've often found white girls to be more nice than black women (Please, black women, don't take offense to this. This is only my experience) in the romantic world, for the most part--that's why it seems so odd to just picture all of these women claiming you're ugly.

 

As a straight male, I'll admit, you're not a bad looking dude at all. I'm serious. I'm surprised you never had a date.

[Green]

An ugly man can get plenty of dates. Its all in attitude, a truely good looking man is verry rare.

[Anna S]

An ugly man can get plenty of dates. Its all in attitude, a truely good looking man is verry rare.

 

Attitude but he must take initiative. A man just bought me dinner but didn't even try to kiss me on the second date. He's done for.

[Cracker Jack]

An ugly man can get plenty of dates. Its all in attitude, a truely good looking man is verry rare.

 

But what kind of attitude is needed to do this, though? I know that "confidence" will be mentioned, but is that...all?

[Green]

But what kind of attitude is needed to do this, though? I know that "confidence" will be mentioned, but is that...all?

 

Its different for every man, it is the ability to be yourself and not worry about failure. I have a good friend who has no confidence, when we go out to a bar he would notice a pretty girl and be to afraid to approach her.

 

I on the other hand will approach a girl I like and if she says "Go away" I will chalenge her and be why, I will stick around and give it the good fight. Some times they laugh at you, some times they just walk away from you, some times they yell real nasty stuff at you... and then some times they like you back and you kiss and things are really fun and great and they want you to have their number and go out with them ect... the thing is you have to be willing to risk the many rejections. You have to go in for that kiss, you have to touch them, chalenge them. You have to enjoy their presence wether they are rejecting you or accepting you. Seriously I don't care if a woman rejects me, let her... And thats why I do good with women, thats why I have a gf. Because I try, instead of making excuses and complaining that it is imposible

[Cracker Jack]

Its different for every man, it is the ability to be yourself and not worry about failure. I have a good friend who has no confidence, when we go out to a bar he would notice a pretty girl and be to afraid to approach her.

 

I on the other hand will approach a girl I like and if she says "Go away" I will chalenge her and be why, I will stick around and give it the good fight. Some times they laugh at you, some times they just walk away from you, some times they yell real nasty stuff at you... and then some times they like you back and you kiss and things are really fun and great and they want you to have their number and go out with them ect... the thing is you have to be willing to risk the many rejections. You have to go in for that kiss, you have to touch them, chalenge them. You have to enjoy their presence wether they are rejecting you or accepting you. Seriously I don't care if a woman rejects me, let her... And thats why I do good with women, thats why I have a gf. Because I try, instead of making excuses and complaining that it is imposible

 

I see your point. The "not being afraid of failure or rejection" seems to be the big key here. I don't think its impossible, nor do I make excuses, since I believe the reason I don't have a girlfriend is due to my own reluctance and inability (Self-Proclaimed) to get one. I've never really been rejected harshly, just in a subtle way (IE I only see you as a friend), but the feeling still sucks and doesn't give me hope. I'm guessing in order to get better, you HAVE to face difficulty, so perhaps I need to start trying more.

 

Overall, I get where you're coming from. You seem to be mentally strong when dealing with stuff like this, and that's good to see.

[Green]

I'm not some magic ladies man or anything, I'm not into anything cool like music or sports.

 

I am tall, I am in decent shape, and I am very smart.

 

When I was single and would hit on women at clubs, I would talk to them about comic books... I might say something silly like "Who do you think would win in a fight superman or Martian Manhunter."

 

I met my current gf in class. I had no excuse to talk to her other then to ask her out. So before class started I just walked over, introduced myself and asked her out infront of her friends... none of them knew me, she didn't say yes but gave me her number. She ended up turning me down, but said that some other time we should do something. So I asked her out again and we had a great date and the rest is history.

 

My point is every man knows what path is best for him, you just get bogged down when you make excuses like... what will I say to her... or what if she says noo... Then I say make her say no, put her to the test, be flirty, be touchy... and if she goes any where alone with you like to a movie or to eat... then TRY TO KISS HER... not by asking... just go in for the kiss.. she will duck or slap you after the kiss if she is unhappy ... just smile.... don't even let it effect you. I could care less if a girl likes me

[RATED-RKOFRANKLIN]

Really? Is that what they actually said to you? They didn't say "they only see you as a friend" or anything along those lines? If so, that's just plain ignorant. I can't think of any friend that would say that to someone they value.

 

I know black chicks aren't your thing, so is your preference mainly white? Just asking. I've often found white girls to be more nice than black women (Please, black women, don't take offense to this. This is only my experience) in the romantic world, for the most part--that's why it seems so odd to just picture all of these women claiming you're ugly.

 

As a straight male, I'll admit, you're not a bad looking dude at all. I'm serious. I'm surprised you never had a date.

 

Some girls have said ugly, some were offended, and some put it into lighter terms.

 

It is not mainly white. So far I have found only 3 black girls on campus who are attractive. I do like some Black and Hispanic women as long as they are not ghetto stereotypes.

 

Its different for every man, it is the ability to be yourself and not worry about failure. I have a good friend who has no confidence, when we go out to a bar he would notice a pretty girl and be to afraid to approach her.

 

I on the other hand will approach a girl I like and if she says "Go away" I will chalenge her and be why, I will stick around and give it the good fight. Some times they laugh at you, some times they just walk away from you, some times they yell real nasty stuff at you... and then some times they like you back and you kiss and things are really fun and great and they want you to have their number and go out with them ect... the thing is you have to be willing to risk the many rejections. You have to go in for that kiss, you have to touch them, chalenge them. You have to enjoy their presence wether they are rejecting you or accepting you. Seriously I don't care if a woman rejects me, let her... And thats why I do good with women, thats why I have a gf. Because I try, instead of making excuses and complaining that it is imposible

 

I'm always myself. I never change to act like someone else towards women. Confidence is always displayed by me.

[USMCHokie]

I'm always myself. I never change to act like someone else towards women. Confidence is always displayed by me.

 

 

The fact that this thread even exists shows otherwise...

[Green]

I'm always myself. I never change to act like someone else towards women. Confidence is always displayed by me.

 

The fact that this thread even exists shows otherwise...

 

That is the bottom line. This thread gives us a glimpse of a man making excuses. If you had confidence then you wouldn't have made a thread titled "I can't attract women" ... confidence is a can do attitude that laughs in the face of rejection.

 

I didn't get my first real gf until I was 22 and graduated from college.... Looking back I never even tried. Since college I have been rejected by many, many women... some women reject you so kindly and sweetly it makes you feel like they said yes... other women reject you in uncalled ways that make you think wtf i just tried to talk to her why is she calling me some loser freak ect... you have to shrug it off and move foward. You have to be making bold moves... you have to be TOUCHING THEM... and KISSING them. Be bold, whens the last time you just walked onto the dance floor and started dancing with a girl?

 

Look man bottom line you made this thread so don't argue you are confident always because you sound like a man who has quit.

[scatterd]

You are just fine.I love you have morals its hard to find god has someone for you you just have not met her yet.When girls are young they go for jerks later they want the nice guy after they learn.She will come be patient.