AD1980 Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 Thats just the point though, whatever you want to call it, what YOU find attractive be it personality or a particular body type or whatever. I don't like using numbers but it's the only way to quantify what is essentially an unquantifiable idea. Thats just the scientist in me. I get you..My point is i cant be with someobdy im not attracted to..If my league is only that then ill be alone the rest of my life..
Author Rorschach Posted May 5, 2010 Author Posted May 5, 2010 I get you..My point is i cant be with someobdy im not attracted to..If my league is only that then ill be alone the rest of my life.. and my point is that if you are willing to be with somebody who isn't attractive to you and you don't feel like you are 'settling' (nobody should ever feel like they are settling) then something else is making them a '7' (if we have to use numbers, sorry) to you. Which is of course the most important part, how you see them not necassarily how the rest of the world sees them. Does that make sense? The numbers aren't a reflection of looks, looks may play a part but the numbers are a reflection of overall how good of a partner you feel the other person is. A 10 being LITERALLY everything you could ever want, from looks to personality to everything.
MrNate Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 This sums up my post nicely, 3 months ago when I decided that I was lonely and really needed to meet a nice girl, but that I also wanted to meet somebody who IN MY MIND (not society's mind which I generally disagree with) was a nice 7 (for lack of a better way to explain it) I realized that I wasn't a 7 and if I wanted that I needed to go to work on me. 3 months and 40 pounds later I'm well on my way, I'm not there yet and that depresses me sometimes but damn it I'm taking action not just complaining about how the world isn't fair. Congratulations man, keep up the good work!
Author Rorschach Posted May 5, 2010 Author Posted May 5, 2010 Congratulations man, keep up the good work! Thanks, I've been chronicling the fight in the physical fitness forum, I'm counting the days until i feel good enough to put some before/after pictures up haha. I could do it now, trust me there is already a HUGE difference, but I really want to show what I look like as a final product rather than in the middle. Very excited to hear what people think, I'm curious to see how attractive women would find me when I'm all done. Its not the core reason I'm losing weight, but I've never felt attractive in my life so it's going to be interesting having that 'wanted' feeling.
MrNate Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 My friends and family have often complained about my sense of "entitlement" and suggested that I need to lower my standards. I'm looking for a guy who has no kids and has never been married, who is of at least average attractiveness, who has some sort of education and employment, and who is basically good and decent and fun to be with. I don't think I'm asking for too much, since I bring all of those qualities to the table myself - I'm educated and employed, no kids or ex-spouses, not bad looking, and a decent enough person. Is it really too much to ask a partner to offer the same as I do? I don't see why I should have to settle for someone who offers less to me than I offer to him, i.e. if I'm an all-round 7, I want the guy to be a 7 too. In the past I've dated guys who I felt didn't match me in one way or another (they had kids, they were between jobs, they were below average attractiveness, etc) but I always felt dissatisfied, like I was offering more than they were. In contrast, I'm much happier with my current bf because I feel like he matches me, and offers as much as I do. That's how it should be. Everyone should be entitled to be with someone who is on their level. It's when we expect more than we're entitled to that problems are created. Good post.
MrNate Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 I get it R. If she were a 6 and you wanted an 8 you would subtract 2 and then if she were 160 lbs you would make her a 7 but if she gained 3 pounds you would make her a 4 but if she went on a diet and lost 20 lbs you would make her an 8 and then invite her over your house at 5 but if she was late you would make her down a notch to 7 but if she called you 4 times she would be a 7 Why, hello mary
MrNate Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 Thanks, I've been chronicling the fight in the physical fitness forum, I'm counting the days until i feel good enough to put some before/after pictures up haha. I could do it now, trust me there is already a HUGE difference, but I really want to show what I look like as a final product rather than in the middle. Very excited to hear what people think, I'm curious to see how attractive women would find me when I'm all done. Its not the core reason I'm losing weight, but I've never felt attractive in my life so it's going to be interesting having that 'wanted' feeling. I know what you mean. I'm in decent shape but I'm striving to be even better. This may be a bit vain, but I'd like someone who is just hot. But I know if I want that, then I gotta get hot myself! Which means paying the price with lifting weights, diet, improving my personality, along with other things. People want all sorts of things, but aren't willing to pay the price. Here's to paying and continuing to pay your dues bud!
PJKino Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 The one part i 100% agree with is that leagues dont always equal up in term of who may find you attractive or not.. Im terrible with women but therye have been women i thought were way out of my league whove thought i was cute and girls i think are near my level of attracitveness or maybe worse whove acted like how dare i even invade their airspace. So just go after women you find attractive not women you are so so on but think you have a good shot becasue they are near your "league" A 9 could think youre a 9 and a 5 could think youre a 3
Author Rorschach Posted May 5, 2010 Author Posted May 5, 2010 I know what you mean. I'm in decent shape but I'm striving to be even better. This may be a bit vain, but I'd like someone who is just hot. But I know if I want that, then I gotta get hot myself! Which means paying the price with lifting weights, diet, improving my personality, along with other things. People want all sorts of things, but aren't willing to pay the price. Here's to paying and continuing to pay your dues bud! I took an 'after' picture just for curiousities sake, and it was such a noticable difference I decided to post it in the physical fitness forum, sure I might lose a bit of zing when I post the finished product in another three months, but I've been rather down on myself lately anyway so I could use the boost in confidence.
LucreziaBorgia Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 I saw your pictures - I think you are doing well. I especially like the glasses (ok, I have a huge glasses fetish ). As for the rating thing, another rating system I see is Tucker Max's. I won't post it here, but if you do a Google search for 'Tucker Max star system' it will be the first link to come up. It is crass and funny in a horrible way - as to be expected, but I have definitely seen men parse out women into similar categories.
gypsy_nicky Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 The board has seen a rash of whiny men come to this board complaining about how they can't get anybody or how they can't get somebody who is good enough or yadda yadda yadda. Well guess what, this is pretty much how it works. I'm going to use numbers just as a quantifiable system. If you are looking for a woman who ranks 7/10 on YOUR scale then you need to find a girl who ranks YOU 7/10 on HER scale. Your scale=/= her scale For instance we sometimes see women/men who we consider 10s going out with people we consider 5s. But you know why that is? Because on the 10's scale, the other person IS a 10. BECAUSE THEY USE A DIFFERENT SCALE THAN YOU DO. So guess what? Even if you're a 7 on your own scale, you may be seen as a 4 for whatever reason, so you're going to REPEATEDLY fail if you go after 7s. There are ONLY two options, you can LOWER your standards and live with the fact that YOU ARENT AS GOOD AS YOU THINK YOU ARE. Or you can do some self help and raise yourself up to a 7, sometimes (as is my case) this is a physical fault, sometimes (as is certain people on this board's case) it's a mental/attitude problem. Whatever it is I have a few words of advice. QUIT YOUR MOANING AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT This has been a public service announcement, if you agree/disagree your welcome to rebut. this is true but you missed something. Your self appraisal on your looks has no bearing on how the general public will see you. Beautiful people are beautiful not because of some anomaly they have but because the general public has come to a consensus. This is also true on how others will rank you. You will generally fall in a scale from 1-10 and most people will also come to a consensus regarding your looks. The problem with today's society is that we place undue merit on 'beauty is subjective etc etc ,its in the eye of the beholder' which leads people to highly overestimate their looks. I have seen this happen with fat chicks thinking their 7's when their really 3-4, average chicks that think their 8's and highly average chicks who think their 10. Its even worse for the males.
PJKino Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 (edited) this is true but you missed something. Your self appraisal on your looks has no bearing on how the general public will see you. Beautiful people are beautiful not because of some anomaly they have but because the general public has come to a consensus. This is also true on how others will rank you. You will generally fall in a scale from 1-10 and most people will also come to a consensus regarding your looks. The problem with today's society is that we place undue merit on 'beauty is subjective etc etc ,its in the eye of the beholder' which leads people to highly overestimate their looks. I have seen this happen with fat chicks thinking their 7's when their really 3-4, average chicks that think their 8's and highly average chicks who think their 10. Its even worse for the males. Fair point but also aside from the really ugly[1 2's and 3's] and really attractive people[8's 9's and 10's] the majority of people walking the streets are in the middle somewhere and are a little above or below average depending on who you ask.. Id say for the majority of the population beauty is subjective where youll get allot of people who are attracted and are not attracted to you..Theryes very few universally ugly or good looking people most are variatons of average.. Edited May 5, 2010 by PJKino
2.50 a gallon Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 You are thinking like a man. Women look at men differently. It has been my experience to see some of the hottest women, date and fall in love with some of what I would consider to be ugly guys. Beauty and the Beast. An old line. "Girls just want to have fun" Think positive, make them laugh, talk to them like they are normal people, listen to them, dance with them. Dinner and a movie is nice, but take them fishing, skating, hiking, dancing, have fun with them.
phineas Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 I have never & could not ever reduce someone to a number. They either pop my rod or they don't.
Mary3 Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 R's Rating System for Women : 1. Green horns growing out back with warts and brown teeth. 2. Hairy Chest , hairy legs , armpits and frizzy hair . 3. Smelly underarms with flabby thighs and gingivitis. 4. Buck teeth with sandpaper skin and stretch marks on breasts. 5. Greasy hair thats manageable minus the hair lice, somewhat nice legs. 6. Yellowing skin with green spinach stuck in teeth but nice personality. 7. Nice skin and teeth but won't kiss until the 10th date on a Sunday. 8. Nice bum bum , skin , chest but wants to wait until Leap Year for a date . 9. Hot girl all the way around but she had a sex change you didn't know .. 10. Your family approves but she has 6 kids to tell you about...
Author Rorschach Posted May 5, 2010 Author Posted May 5, 2010 Mary go check out my before and after pictures in the physical fitness forum. I'm about to go put up another picture of me in the same shirt as the 'before' picture for a better comparison.
Mary3 Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 Mary go check out my before and after pictures in the physical fitness forum. I'm about to go put up another picture of me in the same shirt as the 'before' picture for a better comparison. Are you HOT ?
Author Rorschach Posted May 5, 2010 Author Posted May 5, 2010 Are you HOT ? Of course, I always had a hot person in side me, they were just covered in fat, now they are less so. And the new picture is up I think it shows the difference even better (though I still like the shirtless picture of me showing off my (forming) physique)
somedude81 Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 I'm looking for a guy who has no kids and has never been married, who is of at least average attractiveness, who has some sort of education and employment, and who is basically good and decent and fun to be with. I don't think I'm asking for too much, since I bring all of those qualities to the table myself I don't believe you. Why? Because there are many things that you left out. If those were your only requirements you'd have a boyfriend now and never would be single, simply because there are thousands of men in your area who meet every single one of those requirements. The problem is that if you meet a man who meets all of your criteria but you don't feel that spark, he'd become nothing more than your friend. Because you put him in the friendzone. Here's a little read to find out what a woman's criteria really are http://www.laddertheory.com/ratingsystem.htm
Author Rorschach Posted May 13, 2010 Author Posted May 13, 2010 I'm just going to bump this because there has been another breakout of whiny 'woe is me' threads. I wish people would REALLY listen when people tried to help them through their mental issues, unfortunately its alot of in one ear out the other.
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