isdn00789 Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 In short: There is a girl in one of my classes who I'm becoming more and more interested in. We've talked in person on a number of occasions, she knows who I am, and was interested enough in knowing me that she spoke to me first. The problem is that classes end for the semester in 2 days, and she is graduating. Now, I know where she works so, assuming she doesn't bolt off after graduation, I could still potentially get in contact with her, but the chances that I'll actually do that seem fairly slim. Not to mention, I'd like to see something happen sooner than that... Apparently my school is having a big May Day event tomorrow which I unfortunately found out about after getting home from class today. In other words, I didn't have a chance to ask this girl if she would want to go. We're not currently friends on Facebook, and I realize what your answers will probably be, but what I'm wondering is how you think she might react if sent her a friend request with a brief message saying something like, "Hey! I'm thinking about going to the May Day events tomorrow, any chance I'll run into you there?" Let me know your thoughts on this, but please don't put me down for considering the idea. Keep in mind that I'm considering this because I found out too late to ask in person.
ADF Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 Well, you can't ask for an honest opinion AND demand no one put you down. You want honesty, or you don't. Period. That said, why on earth would to be a problem to reach out to her on facebook? It actually sounds like a good idea, considering your situation.
Author isdn00789 Posted May 4, 2010 Author Posted May 4, 2010 Honesty doesn't mean tell me I suck as a person. I wrote that because, in the past (when I was using a different account), I've had some people from this forum do pretty much that. Basically I just meant tell me if you think this is a good idea, a bad idea, or somewhere in between without assuming that this idea represents who I am and putting me down for having it. Put the idea down if you like, that is fine... just don't put me down for having it. And of course, thanks very much for your opinion. =) I don't view it as a problem either, but from what I've gathered, some people do so I wanted to get a feel for the proportions.
mortensorchid Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 If you want to go to this May Day party with her, I would call and ask her. Tell her you know it's short notice but you hope that she would still consider going with you. If she says no because it's short notice, tell her you still would like to see her sometime soon. Facebook isn't all that great for asking people such questions.
Author isdn00789 Posted May 4, 2010 Author Posted May 4, 2010 I don't have her phone number or I would do that.
Pfiend101 Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 You need to ask her for her number..... Then ask her out.
Author isdn00789 Posted May 5, 2010 Author Posted May 5, 2010 So you feel that even asking someone if they'll be somewhere is too far to go with Facebook? I've never asked a girl for her phone number, and quite frankly, I don't even know how to go about doing so. Can I just ask? What do people expect? I have no reference at all. I haven't even been around when one of my friends asked a girl for her phone number. What I'd like to say is, "I'd like to get to know you better, is there any chance I could get your phone number so we can stay in touch?", but I never feel like it is appropriate. Is that just me being dumb, or is it a stupid thing to say? Social interaction is very hard for me (not just with girls, but in general), and I'm genuinely asking these questions. I'm going to see a psychiatrist soon and am hopeful that he can help me do something about this because it is extremely hard to live with, but in the mean time I'm seeking advice where I can.
Pfiend101 Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 So you feel that even asking someone if they'll be somewhere is too far to go with Facebook? I've never asked a girl for her phone number, and quite frankly, I don't even know how to go about doing so. Can I just ask? What do people expect? I have no reference at all. I haven't even been around when one of my friends asked a girl for her phone number. What I'd like to say is, "I'd like to get to know you better, is there any chance I could get your phone number so we can stay in touch?", but I never feel like it is appropriate. Is that just me being dumb, or is it a stupid thing to say? Social interaction is very hard for me (not just with girls, but in general), and I'm genuinely asking these questions. I'm going to see a psychiatrist soon and am hopeful that he can help me do something about this because it is extremely hard to live with, but in the mean time I'm seeking advice where I can. Dont be nervous its no big deal. I would say something along the lines of "Hey X. (X is the girl) I would enjoy taking you out sometime. Whats your #?"
Author isdn00789 Posted May 5, 2010 Author Posted May 5, 2010 Well, I'll certainly try not to be nervous, hopefully that will work. It may because I'm getting more comfortable talking to her, but it will still be an incredibly hard thing for me to do.
Pfiend101 Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 I was in your shoes about 18 months ago. Then I just started flirting/ going for it more. You can do it man. GET SOME! haha
Author isdn00789 Posted May 5, 2010 Author Posted May 5, 2010 Thanks for the encouragement, Pfiend101. I really appreciate it. I'll do my best. Hopefully I'll have some good news for you on Thursday afternoon.
Author isdn00789 Posted May 5, 2010 Author Posted May 5, 2010 We know each other in person, but we're not friends on Facebook currently. Does that change your thinking, SaintDragon? I don't have much time to do it now since the day is already underway, but there are events starting all the way up until like 9:00p.m., so I'm still considering the option. I've had 4 people tell me to go ahead with it, and only 2 people who suggested that I shouldn't so I'm leaning towards doing it. One more yes, and I'll send the request.
Pfiend101 Posted May 6, 2010 Posted May 6, 2010 asking her to be friends on facebook is no big deal. However the more confident male thing to do would be to ask her for her # in person.
Author isdn00789 Posted May 6, 2010 Author Posted May 6, 2010 Well, I ended up not doing it in the long run. I needed to stay home and do homework anyway, and I've come up with what seems like a better option to me. I have to give a presentation for one of the classes we're in together, and I'll need a volunteer who is in on what I'm doing to make it work. I'm going to see if maybe she'll help me because that will require us to meet up outside of class, give me a good opportunity to talk to her, and a good opportunity to ask for a way to contact her.
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