griffy Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 Stupid facebook. From comparing my life to others' lives to looking at my ex's profile, facebook has a tendency to make me feel like crap! Anyway, my ex and I have been hanging out a lot lately. Basically, we date. We’re always together, however we are not facebook friends. This didn’t really annoy me until I saw that he recently befriended one of his other exes, and I know that he initiated because I saw that she had confirmed his request (I was with him when he was checking his email.) His profile is public so I can look at it any time. I know it says he’s single (which, technically, he is; mine says this too) and that he has no pictures of us (I have two on my fb that others tagged us in). I just wanted your opinion on whether or not you think it's strange we're not fb friends, but he's friends with another ex who I know he never hangs out with. (I guess you probably think it's strange that I date my ex, but that's for another day.) I don’t want to be a nagging, insecure girl (though this question probably proves I am!) by demanding we be friends. What should I do? (Other than not date my ex!)
Green Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 I think it would be more insecure of you not to trust your intuition. Truthfuly why hang out with an ex if not to do what you two are doing... now he has brought another ex into the mix... even if nothing at all is hapening this situation has drama written all over it and it would be imposible for it not to effect you.
craw Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 not to be rude, but I think it's strange how you refer to him as the EX yet you two are always hanging out together - does this involve sex? it seems although you're walking down a toxic line.
Author griffy Posted May 4, 2010 Author Posted May 4, 2010 Hi Craw, When we are together, we do everything a couple would do, without the label of boyfriend/girlfriend. I agree this is toxic because not having the actual commitment "allows" either of us to do something that would hurt the other (and I would probably be the one who got hurt. I don't want to date anyone else so that won't happen on my end.) It seems that this arrangment is many guys' dream relationship. He gets me (when he wants me), yet still has the freedom to pursue whatever it is he chooses to pursue. Right now, I think he's happy dating me, but I don't know about in the future.
craw Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 hey griffy! why are you putting up with this nonsense? what about your feelings and consideration? I was in this exact situation a year ago until he finally told me he couldn't see himself falling with me and after a painful and slow process, I let him go. Why wouldn't u date someone else?
Green Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 Hi Craw, When we are together, we do everything a couple would do, without the label of boyfriend/girlfriend. I agree this is toxic because not having the actual commitment "allows" either of us to do something that would hurt the other (and I would probably be the one who got hurt. I don't want to date anyone else so that won't happen on my end.) It seems that this arrangment is many guys' dream relationship. He gets me (when he wants me), yet still has the freedom to pursue whatever it is he chooses to pursue. Right now, I think he's happy dating me, but I don't know about in the future. THIS IS NOT EVERY GUYS DREAM RELATIONSHIP, and if this is a dream for your ex then that says bad things about him.
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