Darth Vader Posted May 9, 2010 Posted May 9, 2010 Tell your family, her family, and any mutual friends as well of her affairs, exposure for her actions is a must!
You Go Girl Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 Ok. Your W has "daddy issues". Your W has affair with older man. Coincidence? I think NOT. Your W simply sounds very immature. She probably doesn't even know how to say NO to the older boss. Does she come from a dysfunctional family? I don't think your W even understands what a functional family is. But maybe, she'd like to learn. I think she's got a hellova lot of growing up to do. Could she become the w you want her to? Possibly, but she'd have to really start learning about what makes a good family. She could use a few books on this. She sounds not only immature, but ignorant. If her family was a mess, she simply doesn't know better. You're really taking the high road even considering keeping her. The path to her emotional maturity is going to be a long one. It should start with IC, and later MC. But, you can't raise a wife. You do need to set some boundaries. Being home in the evenings is certainly a must. You do have to take a look at the big picture and ask yourself if you can wait out her path to maturity. This is one of those situations in which in a divorce, the father should absolutely get custody. She was away in the evenings and missing part of her children's lives, after being away all day too. An indepth discussion of what her values are is very needed immediately. Ask her to write them down, and ask her to compare them to her own behavior over the term of this job and affair. Finally, you've to ask her if she really loves you, or is she too timid to say that she would like to see other men? Tell her it's ok no matter what the truth is. Then maybe, she will tell the truth even if it's a painful one. It's also a question that will wake her up to take a look at herself, as is my suggestion for her to write down her values.
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