LisaUk Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 Hi, I need help. I don't know what has gotten into be the last few days but I am slowly losing the plot. Maybe it's the exam stress? I just can't function, I should be revising right now, exam on Friday, instead I am sat here crying thinking that my ex leaving me was all my fault. I can't handle this, I can't handle being responsible for him going, the thought that I caused all this and am in a hell of my own making is too much to bear.
RedDevil66 Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 I feel you. I work 42 hrs a week and am in med school on top of that. Live alone, take care of a home and have an illness. There are many days I feel like I'm about to go mad, but real madness cannot be indentified, meaning, if you were going crazy, you would not even notice it If you think you cannot handle it, get some help, slow down, exercise, eat well and meditate. What Im starting to figure out in my mid 40's, life is not that serious and we all don't make it out alive anyway, so have some fun within all the madness breath :-)
trippi1432 Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 Hi, I need help. I don't know what has gotten into be the last few days but I am slowly losing the plot. Maybe it's the exam stress? I just can't function, I should be revising right now, exam on Friday, instead I am sat here crying thinking that my ex leaving me was all my fault. I can't handle this, I can't handle being responsible for him going, the thought that I caused all this and am in a hell of my own making is too much to bear. Lisa - You are in the home stretch....remember how you felt a few weeks ago....look at your avatar....that's a long way hun. While you are revising your papers to study for your exam, maybe you aren't aware of this....but you are revising your future. You DID NOT cause all of this, but YOU ARE doing something ABOUT all of this, and that is something to be proud of. We all cause our own mental hell, right now, the only mental hell you need to be concentrating on is that final on Friday. Here's a mental pic for you babe....one day you are sitting in your cushy legal office and your next client is "dumbass" looking for some legal advice. You're sitting in the driver's seat and you get to say.."Oh, I'm sorry baby....but you are screwed!!". Karma....you have to love it.
tojaz Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 Lis, I know it doesn't seem like it, but you have the tigger by the tail! You know his leaving was not your fault, you know he was the one who broke it. You may not, but I know that there will be a day when he regrets this, looks back at what he had and chased off, and kicks himself good and proper! By then you will be a wealthy solicitor with a young stud on your arm and you can just smile and pretend that you dont remember his name! LISA, YOU DID NOT DO THIS!!!!!!!! BUT YOUR THE ONE THAT WILL BE BETTER FOR IT. Now get out of here and hit the books!!! :D:D Big hug from across the pond! :love: TOJAZ
You Go Girl Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 Don't sabotage your success now that it is so close! You can cry over him, or you can succeed at your exams, the right choice is so very clear! Hang in there...only a few days until success, and success is nothing to be afraid of.
FeelingLonely98 Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 Remember - in the long run the BS usually has a higher quality of life and the WAS usually has a lower quality of life. ;) *** --> --> --> Now go study and pass those exams!!! :)
Author LisaUk Posted May 4, 2010 Author Posted May 4, 2010 Thanks for the encouragement guys, the day got worse! I got an e-mail form my tutor telling me she had screwed up and so we all had to redo something for our Legal Research Project! MAD AS HELL! I just spent 3 HOURS redoing it when I should be revising for the first of my SEVEN exams over the next 4 weeks. What with all this and HIM in my head I may just explode. I have started to exhibit hysterical laughter now!
how2forgive&2forget Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 Schedule yourself a cry! One hour a day. Go to the bathroom and cry it out in the shower....all of it! Then when your hour is up - go to work-mode. Do, do, do, don't stop, just do what you have to do. When you are done, have another cry. It's okay, you are not going crazy, you are under stress and you need to let out all these emotions boiling inside you. ((((hugs)))))
mikeymad Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 (edited) Lisa, I understand what you must be going through. I once had 15 tests scheduled over 13 days (counting the weekends, so really more like 11) during my grad school. I thought I was going to go insane. Every little thing blew up into epic proportions. I thought my world would end because the milk was 1 day past expiration date, and I didn't have time to go to the store because it was *gasp* 3 blocks away. Make a schedule for studying, but include some down time so you don't burn out. Go for a walk. Watch a movie. Above all don't feel guilty if you're not studying every minute. Know that you don't have to be perfect. Sometimes just passing the test is ok. No one you ever meet will call you up and ask you what your GPA was. Try not to have unrealistic expectations of yourself. One I released those, then I could study easier, retain more, and actually get better grades. Know you did what you could, you did your best with the knowledge you had at the time, and be ok where the chips fall. Sounds a bit like life actually... You know what they call the person who graduates DEAD LAST in their law school class? A lawyer Good Luck, not that you'll need it. You know more than you think you do. Guarentee. Edited May 4, 2010 by mikeymad
Author LisaUk Posted May 4, 2010 Author Posted May 4, 2010 Lisa, I understand what you must be going through. I once had 15 tests scheduled over 13 days (counting the weekends, so really more like 11) during my grad school. I thought I was going to go insane. Every little thing blew up into epic proportions. I thought my world would end because the milk was 1 day past expiration date, and I didn't have time to go to the store because it was *gasp* 3 blocks away. Make a schedule for studying, but include some down time so you don't burn out. Go for a walk. Watch a movie. Above all don't feel guilty if you're not studying every minute. Know that you don't have to be perfect. Sometimes just passing the test is ok. No one you ever meet will call you up and ask you what your GPA was. Try not to have unrealistic expectations of yourself. One I released those, then I could study easier, retain more, and actually get better grades. Know you did what you could, you did your best with the knowledge you had at the time, and be ok where the chips fall. Sounds a bit like life actually... You know what they call the person who graduates DEAD LAST in their law school class? A lawyer Good Luck, not that you'll need it. You know more than you think you do. Guarentee. Hi Mikey, Yeah you get it! I ran out of cigerettes today and the world was ending because the store is a 25 min walk away! I wish what you said about the grade not mattering was true here in the UK, the reality here is I will be asked on every job application for the overall grade and the grade for each and every element, coursework (20%) and exams (80%) for all seven core modules. As I am a mature student I was hoping my A'level grades (highschool) would not matter now, given I have an above average undergrad, but no such luck. Just adds more pressure have to get a comendation to even stand a chance of a training contract. Anyway, despite that your right that all I can do is my best and I know I can't do any more than I am right now. I just wish I could get my ex out of my head, I guess it's the stress bringing it all up? Thanks for all the support everyone who has replied, it means a lot right now.
trippi1432 Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 Hi Mikey, Yeah you get it! I ran out of cigerettes today and the world was ending because the store is a 25 min walk away! Been there, done that....know what you mean. Out now myself..grrr. Anyway, despite that your right that all I can do is my best and I know I can't do any more than I am right now. I just wish I could get my ex out of my head, I guess it's the stress bringing it all up? Thanks for all the support everyone who has replied, it means a lot right now. You will get there, stress is s b*tch, but you will make it. We all take on more than we should when we already have a full load...don't beat yourself up.....the finish line is in sight. :bunny:
Author LisaUk Posted May 6, 2010 Author Posted May 6, 2010 Hi all, Well I can honestly say I am very stressed, really very scared about tomorrows exam and I have this horrible taste and smell that I can't get rid of, feel a bit heady, could that be stress? Urgh. One thing I will say is that I absolutely hate my ex right now, I was so happy before all of this and he did this to me and why? No real reason, no chance to work on anything, didn't even bother to tell me he was unhappy, as you all know b/c I keep repeating myself and going on about it! LOL The point being I feel so let down by him, I didn't deserve this and he knows it that's why all the self justification. Now I have to go and face my exam and fear tomorrow, I am one of those people who really tires to calm themself but can never do it. I wish I was just more laid back, I hate feeling so anxious. Anyone got any tips to help me stay calm tomorrow, could really do with some?
silverfish Posted May 6, 2010 Posted May 6, 2010 Hey Lisa Try and watch a bit of the election special tonight - that should help you sleep Seriously though...have you ever tried Bach rescue remedy drops? - they're supposed to be great for tests / driving tests and so on. A guy at work has his driving test tomorrow and he said it works for him. I think most chemists sell it. Massive amounts of good luck for tomorrow! You've come such a long way in the last year..I feel slightly inadequate!!
mikeymad Posted May 6, 2010 Posted May 6, 2010 1. deep breathing. Inhale for 10 seconds, hold for 10 seconds, exhale for 10 seconds. concentrate on how your body is feeling, visualize the stress leaving your body as you exhale. 2. Clench every muscle in your body as tight as you can, and hold it as long as you can....then just let go and relax. You will feel all sorts of stress get relieved. 3. Slowly drinking water, and as it flows down the back of your mouth and throat imagine it being a wave of calm washing over you. 4. Find a quiet place to be before the test. Don't joke about with classmates or socialize beforehand, as they will almost always bring up some small piece of info you happened to forget, making you freak out that there's a "ton" you don't know. Rarely the case. 5. Like I mentioned before, be confident that you know your stuff and have it stored in your brain, you just have to access it.
alphamale Posted May 6, 2010 Posted May 6, 2010 Hi, I need help. I don't know what has gotten into be the last few days but I am slowly losing the plot. Maybe it's the exam stress? I just can't function, I should be revising right now, exam on Friday, instead I am sat here crying thinking that my ex leaving me was all my fault. I can't handle this, I can't handle being responsible for him going, the thought that I caused all this and am in a hell of my own making is too much to bear. there there LisaUK you can cry on my shoulder
tojaz Posted May 7, 2010 Posted May 7, 2010 Lis, I know what you mean about not being able to relax. For me, its like not being able to shut my head off. Suffered lots of sleepless nights, even well before the D. What I have done lately is to just find a quiet place usually lying in bed when its quiet and just try not to think about what ever is stressing me. Instead I just close my eyes and focus on all the little details around me. The sounds outside, crickets, the wind, focusing on the tiniest details. Helps me put everything else out of my mind. You really have to work at it, but it is a great stress relief. Hopefully it can work for you. :bunny::bunny::bunny: BEST OF LUCK TOMORROW :bunny::bunny::bunny: Although you won't need it, you have this all tied up with a pretty little bow! TOJAZ
Gunny376 Posted May 7, 2010 Posted May 7, 2010 I realize that your stressed for success, and that you've got a Hell of a lot on your plate right now. First lets talking about worrying? There's no amount of worrying that worth so much as a dime, (or whatever the lowest denomination of currency in the UK is) I can tell you from experience? Most of the things that we worry about? Never come about. Worrying begets stress, and I realize that between the XHEX Dumbazz leaving someone else as yourself? Puts you under a tremendous amount of worry ~ thus stress. Now pile your Mom's attitude on top of that and for good measure? Law school, etc. Your going through some serious stress and anxiety. Which leads me to what happen to your Dr.'s appointment to get on some antidepressants and anxiety drugs. About two months ago, I made a mistake at work, and approved a pot of lead. Most people think? Lead is lead. But at work we have over 95 different alloys. Some are for car batteries, some are for bullets, some are for making radiation shields. My mistake? The specification was that one of the sixteen elements couldn't be greater than a .001. I wrote it up on the certification form as a .0017 which technically made it a .002. A load went out on a semi, (fifteen to twenty bundles per load = $65,000! Typically you get 110 bundles per pot. That adds up to close to half a million dollars. The there was the transportation cost of shipping it to the customer. A couple more thousand dollars. My boss called me in on my day off, and told me to get busy finding another job, and was even generous enough to offer to pay me while I did so for four weeks. I begged for my job. You see I was going home and hitting the Canadian Whiskey pretty hard every night when I got off. I wasn't going into work drunk, but I was going in half hung-over. I told him if he would let me keep my job? I would get help. I immediately made an appointment with a great psychologist. Who diagnosed me with long term depression, anxiety, and PTSD. He immediately made me an appointment for the next day with my primary care physician, who in consultation got me on antidepressants and anxiety medication. The turn around has been 180 degrees. I'm not longer have this negative attitude, nor do little things get to me. I'm not walking through the world anxious, angry nor made at the world and everyone in it. I once walked into work one day, after news of yet another work-place shooting and told a much younger co-worker that I was going to smile more and be more friendlier towards people? He told me, "Hell your the one we're worried about!" He was half joking and half serious. Everyone I work with have commented on the difference in me over the last month and half to two months. My over all anxiety has fallen to zero, I've firmly buried the past in the past. I stress and worry about nothing, I sleep better, sounder and worry about nothing. I'm back to being 90% of the happy go lucky, could give a damn guy that I was back in my youth. That's not to say that I don't give a damn? I just simply don't stress out over any and every little thing. I'm more balanced, smile and laugh more, and I'm more sociable. The meds don't make me high, they don't bring me down. They simply give me "balance" and I don't worry about anything. And I don't stress about anything. And I mean nothing. I was of the generation that only "crazy people" or those that weren't just not right only went to see a psychologist or got on meds. A year ago, you would have had to have me dragged fighting and screaming to see one. Best thing I ever did, and should have done it years ago. I realize that the British Health Care system is such that if your suicidal that there's a six month's waiting list? But get in and see your MD and a psychologist. Hang in there Kiddo! Your a lot tougher than you're giving yourself credit for! No one gets through this life without singing the blues!
FeelingLonely98 Posted May 7, 2010 Posted May 7, 2010 Good luck today Lisa! Im thinking of you x Here here ... Hang in there Lisa ... your LS friends are thinking of you and pulling for you!!!
Author LisaUk Posted May 8, 2010 Author Posted May 8, 2010 Thanks all of you! Exam went OKish I think! Next one in two days. Yesterday was one year to the day that I had to leave my lovely home because of my stupid pathetic ex. Seriously, how can someone justify leaving someone they spent 18 years with on the basis of "I couldn't be in a relationship that wasn't 100% perfect"! and "I don't want to have to consider anyone elses feelings". Never thought I would be sitting a law final one year later. Just hope I did OK.
trippi1432 Posted May 8, 2010 Posted May 8, 2010 Thanks all of you! Exam went OKish I think! Next one in two days. Yesterday was one year to the day that I had to leave my lovely home because of my stupid pathetic ex. Seriously, how can someone justify leaving someone they spent 18 years with on the basis of "I couldn't be in a relationship that wasn't 100% perfect"! and "I don't want to have to consider anyone elses feelings". Never thought I would be sitting a law final one year later. Just hope I did OK. He did you a favor hun...you are much better off. Hit the books....you will do great on the rest too. Hugs!
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