harleygirl Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 My husband and I have been divorced for almost 3 years now, we have 3 kids together. After 6 months apart we got back together but never remarried. We lived together for 2 years. During all this time we both did things to hurt each other. He didn't trust me for money issues, and i didn't trust him for cheating on me, one time with 2 women at the same time. I had thought that we had moved on past all of that and were doing good. I still had a gut feeling that things were not right so i checked up on him and constantly found dating websites, etc.. and reasons not to trust him. Trust is what we fought about the most. 2 days before Christmas he sent me a text stating that we were splitting after Christmas. I found out that he had been talking to another girl who worked for the same company i did since November. they have been seeing each other since. I moved out in Feburary of this year and we did not have any intimate relations from Christmas until here recently. Now, he wants me to relax and let things run their course?? what is he talking about? he also wants to continue to have sexual relations with me secretly, but doesn't think that the new girl should know. I did call her one day and told her that he and I were sleeping together but he has her believing otherwise, so she thinks that i am a crazy Ex wife trying to start trouble. He says that he still loves me and i truly do still love him for some strange reason, but is it fair to the other woman for her not to know that we are still having sexual relations? she lives in iowa and we are in Georgia. is it fair to me to think that we might get back together and can i trust him or him trust me ever again? should i cut my losses no matter how hard it is and move on? How can someone jump from out of one relationship and into another within a matter of weeks. oh and it doesn't help the situation that he has taken her on trips, they are leaving for cancun this thursday and he has also helped buy new boobs... Just how stupid am I? or is he having second thoughts and want to come back? Help!!!!!!!!!!1
curiousnycgirl Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 I think at this point you need to stop thinking about him and focus only on yourself and your kids. Who cares how he can jump from one relationship to another? He did. Clearly he loves the thrill of cheating, and now would like to cheat on his new woman with you. Is that something you want for yourself? From what you've written I don't think so. It appears you want him back, full time. But I would like to you ask yourself why. Does this man meet your most basic needs? Would you ever be able to trust him again? Answer honestly. I think you need to go full no contact and let yourself heal. Focus on you and your children and stop letting this man hurt you.
Fouts Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 It's up to you if you want to live your life as his doormat. There's no advice for anyone to give you on your situation.
Author harleygirl Posted May 11, 2010 Author Posted May 11, 2010 thanks for the advice. the only problem I have with the no contact rule is that we have 3 kids together and they are very active with school and sports to the point that something is going on with them every weekend. I haven't seen him or talked to him for 8 days now, and i actually do feel better, but he will be back in town from his vacation with his new woman tomorrow night, so here we will go again this weekend. any advice on how to deal with that?
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